Of course it's ok! You're not with FOB! There's nothing wrong with that at all! We're all only human!
Go for it!
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30-03-2012 11:11 #121
30-03-2012 11:11 #122
personally I couldn't handle it.
probably because I have a higher sex drive than DH... so I always feel like I'm the one not being fulfilled... but being patient... not interpreting his disinterest as "not ever' but just "not now" because he's tired, or stressed or has had kids jumping all over him and just wants space where he's not being touched. I understand that. Does it completely suck... hell yeah, but I couldn't be with another man. I feel safe with DH. I know I mean something to him and I know he loves me.
And because he doesn't have a high sex drive... I would be absolutely GUTTED if he chose to have sex with someone else, rather than me. Coz then I'd feel completely unattractive and worthless.. and I'd feel like his disinterest in sex was actually a disinterest in me....
wow.. this has got me thinking.. maybe I'll ask him if he thinks he'd have sex more if we had an open relationship.... no that's catty, it would just be looking to start a fight and leave me feeling bad if he said "probably"...
so no. I wouldn't have an open relationship.
I would have a casual sex relationship with a friend I trust if something was to ever happen to DH (where he died or something... not just if he couldn't have sex for some medical reason)
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30-03-2012 11:16 #123
30-03-2012 11:23 #124
It's a hard question for me I have a high libido and dh did until he developed diabetes.
Sometimes I think an open relationship would be great because I get climbing the walls crazy but I know it would hurt him if I was getting it somewhere else and of course he'd never consider it because he has no libido when he does feel like it once every 3-4 weeks he does it with me. So I'd never do it to him but I'd like to be doing it more and an open relationship would sort that but I also get attached easily so it would never work
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30-03-2012 11:24 #125
Thank you so much for writing this! It has made me feel sooo much better about my situation. A little background. My DH and I are happily married. We love each other very much and in the beginning I had a much higher sex drive than he did. I used to get really angry at him and think that he didn't want me in that way but he just has a really low sex drive. Still I was devastated at the time. I then (due to various reasons) developed depression and was put on AD's. Boy did the tables turn! Suddenly I never felt like it and he was asking me for it and I couldn't think of anything worse. AD's cause low sex drive. I really struggled with it and I felt bad for all those times I had hounded him about it. To cut a long story short. We don't have sex very often at all. We are currently TTC so during that time of the month we do it a lot more often but if we weren't trying to conveive I think we'd be lucky to do it once a week! Truth is now though that it doesn't bother me at all and it doesn't seem to bother DH either. We are happy that way and I have absolutely no interest in another man as I'm certain he has no interest in any other woman. I'm sure it crosses his mind when he sees a hot woman about what it would bel ike to have sex with her but I know he wouldn't actually go through with it. It's just thoughts so as long as he doesn't touch we're good. I guess my only concern is that I don't want us to turn into a couple who never have sex and then suddenly realise they're friends and not lovers. I love DH and I am attracted to him sexually but I have to be honest and say not always. Alot of the time I feel an overwhelming love for him rather than a "I want to tear your clothes off" ..
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30-03-2012 11:25 #126
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30-03-2012 11:26 #127
DH and I started off in an open relationship for about 3 months because we both knew each others past and dirty secrets so we figured it'd be better for us. However he asked to be exclusive later on and I agreed on the condition if one us slipped within the first few months exclusively dating we wouldnt get worked up over it. 2 years later, we're married with a beautiful DD but Im considering giving him a free pass as his libido is going through the roof and I have no interest whatsoever in having sex. Sorry if its tmi...
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30-03-2012 11:34 #128
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30-03-2012 11:37 #129
30-03-2012 12:14 #130
No. I wouldn't feel right about it. One man is enough for me.
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