Sometimes I want it and DH doesn't, sometimes he wants it and I don't. We don't pressure each other and there's no way I'll just lie there to keep him happy - and I wouldn't want him to do that either. I find it creepy that a guy that knows his partner isn't in the mood yet pressures her anyway... isn't the whole point to sex in a committed relationship to make each other happy?
I refuse to apologise to DH if I'm not in the mood nor does he need to apologise. We are sexually compatible but it doesn't define our relationship.OUr relationship is defined on so much more than that.
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23-01-2012 22:13 #31
23-01-2012 22:23 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I've said "not tonight dear" at times during the last few years - pregnancies, fatigue, PND, medication etc...but DH has never pressured me. He firmly believes that if we're both not totally up for it, then what's the point? I don't think he's ever not been up for it , but if he wasn't in the mood, I'd feel exactly the same.
23-01-2012 22:25 #33
24-01-2012 07:46 #34
I think it's disturbing that a man you love would even think it's ok to F a starfish! And think it's extremely submissive to allow a man to do that to you...all in the name of 'meeting in the middle'. If you don't want it you don't want it - there is NO meeting in the middle! That's not intimacy!
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24-01-2012 08:03 #35
I definitely have a higher libido than DP - I get turned on really quickly, and I do love a nice shag!
However, if DP isn't up for it, then that's no biggie - although she's pretty much always willing and wanting to satisfy me even if she's not in the mood to be satisfied. So it works out well
Could I live without sex?
Could I live without her?
I believe I could live without sex much more easily than I could live without her, so if something happened and sex was off the cards, it would not mean our relationship would be over. It'd be hard, yes. But I would rather masturbate and still be with her, than have meaningless sex with someone I don't love.
I suppose if the reason we stopped having sex was something like no longer being attracted to the person then that would be different as there'd be other underlying issues, but if it was something else (DP sometimes has to go on meds which affect her libido for example) and intimacy still existed - if I still fell asleep in her arms, if she still kissed me spontaneously and held my hand at the shops, or rubbed my back and stroked my forehead - then so would the relationship.
24-01-2012 08:14 #36
The other thread was a strained almost breaking up marriage averaging sex three or four times in the last year and a half and the wife wanted opinions on the situation.
24-01-2012 08:15 #37Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
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24-01-2012 08:47 #38
I just don't think your love and devotion to a person is measured (or assured) by the amount of s3x you are having, there are plenty of meaningless, shallow relationships with plenty of s3x and they don't last.
It implies that if you aren't having 'enough' s3x with your partner then they are going to cheat and that makes it ok. What if you are having s3x with them continually and they still cheat, would it be a case then of oh you poor thing, it's not your fault.
I think love and intimacy are way more important than frequent s3x, that said if lack of s3x is an issue for one partner then they have a right to be able to talk about it but when they start looking at other options, that is not about s3x, it is about doing the decent thing and ending a relationship you are not happy in.
24-01-2012 08:54 #39
Did only having sex a couple of times a year cause issues in their relationship or did issues in their relationship mean they only had sex a few times a year.
24-01-2012 09:03 #40
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