I have to disagree with the 'you only regret the kids you don't have' saying - one of the reasons i don't want a third is the fear i would absolutely regret it. I'm sure i would love the child and give it the care it needs but it can imagine regretting it if it ends up being more than i can cope with (which it likely would be). I don't want to feel so exhausted and overwhelmed with my children that i struggle to enjoy them, i don't want to regret having that last child that pushed me over from coping to being in over my head.
I did hope to have 3-4 kids but i have to be realistic and listen to my head, not just my heart. I think i might look back and wish i did have a third but i also think if i did have a third i might be glad in 20 years time but what about all the years before then? The pregnancy, newborn years, 3 sets of school fees that need paying, the bigger house we would need to buy and all teh stress of the added costs etc etc - is it worth it? In my case i think it probably isn't - i feel happy with 2. I still would kind of like a third but not enough to go through it all again and possibly wish i hadn't of...
For me i will wait until i feel certain i want a third before i even entertain teh idea - doubt means don't do it (for me).
Give yourself time to really think about it. Good luck.
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23-01-2012 11:13 #11has left the building
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23-01-2012 11:16 #12Senior Member
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I will go against the grain and say I believe you can regret having a child kinda.. I think women can be clucky all the time.. My mum is in her 50s and sometimes feels a twinge of cluckyness and she is not going through menopause yet lol. My point is the urge to have babies may not ever go away so for me I would have a long think. I have two and at this point don't want anymore because my pregnancies have been really awful. Sometimes I think how sad it is that my baby will be a big kid running around like her brother soon.. How breastfeeding will eventually end etc. And think oh just one more.. But then I look at my friend with 6 kids and I realize this could go on forever lol. I do believe lots of people regret extending their family. Not that they don't love them but just that it is lots more work and time and money .. So yeah that's just me and my thinking on it
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23-01-2012 11:16 #13Member
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Thats so much ladies, Its just that I feel done within myself but feel guilty about not giving my girls another sibling to have when they get older as I do with my 3 brothers!
I have my moments though!! when they angels i could have 10 more... when they are terrors I AM SO DONE!! LOL
I sometimes look at them and see another one there, but i feel that i could offer them a better life, both financially and emotionally keeping it just at 2, as I am 35 this year and if i was to do it it would have to be NOW and i know it would just be too hard with 3 kids under 5 for me.
I just dont want to regret it!! oh what to do!!
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