Hrmm.. A thread for me to have a whinge on, right up my alley.
It's hard for me because I'm socially awkward, I grew up in an odd environment which makes it hard for me to know how to act 'normally' in social situations and I end up being too shy or too overbearing. I was married at 18 to get away from home, divorced my controlling husband at 21 and became pregnant to a man who is emotionally abusive by 22. These things make me feel like a used rag even now that I'm married to a gentle man.
My inlaws treat me as if I have an iq of a goldfish. We ask for support as I'm going through a difficult pregnancy, and get none. My eldest DD has Aspergers and is currently going through puberty. DH also shows signs of Aspergers and having to take on the roll of being the 'adult' in our relationship is tiring. I'm intellectually bored and wanting to do more with my life, but find myself stuck in the housewife role I was primed for from an early age. Our finances are rubbish.
Like a lot of us here, I'm lonely.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 31 to 40 of 70
18-01-2012 10:21 #31
Last edited by MissPoss; 18-01-2012 at 10:25.
18-01-2012 10:23 #32
18-01-2012 10:24 #33
I don't think I have one massive obstacle, just a bunch of stuff that add up and make life harder.
Falling pregnant at 18 and becomming a mother at 19 has made life harder than it needed to be.
Having DD's father abandon her and support her in no way at all has made life financially more difficult, and it sometimes makes things harder emotionally too - like when DD asks about him, why he abandoned her, etc etc. It also makes me quite angry at times, and ruins my mood for a week. I'd also quite like time off now and again, the kind that he could offer by taking her... but yeah, doesn't happen when flees the country for a tramp (she seriously is a horrible person... I'd have no issues with her if she was nice).
Anxiety disorder and body image issues. The anxiety makes me find things overwhelmingly difficult - I had to escape from picking a new pair of glasses that other day because I was about to have a panic attack over it. I do this often - freak out and abandon situations or else risk looking like a right idiot in front of someone... (I went back and chose after I had calmed down). My body occupies my mind too... I wish this weren't the case.
Being repartnered is hard too - especially when his family (except FIL) are against "step" relatives and do not embrace DD and I as a part of the family. MIL is even angry at me at the moment because apparently I'm "using" DP because he got me a car. She's ignoring me because of it. I'm not sure why I'd spend 4 years with someone on hte off chance he'd buy me an inexpensive car though... lol. I'd be pretty pathetic excuse for a gold-digger if that was the case. DD is treated as lesser too. It sucks. God save me if I ever have children with DP.
The fact that I don't drive doesn't help either and makes everything WAY harder. I have my test at 1.55 today though (Qld time!) so hopefully I pass! YAY!
The fact that I suck with making friends... or that when I make friends, it's with people I don't really click with and would never look to for support... and my mother is supportive, but more in the helpful way, not in hte advice way... and she lives too far away to see regularly anyway.
DP is FIFO. Means I spend most days and nights alone. It's weird.
I am fat. I have been fatter, but I'm still fat. That stops me from doing a billion things. The more I lose, the more I feel more free to be myself - like I don't have to be as invisible anymore because I'm not in plus-sizes anymore... that's how it feels for me anyway.
I dunno, just a bunch of smaller stuff that adds up to a lot of hassle really.
18-01-2012 10:28 #34
Mine is that my parents don't seem to care about me or my family. When it was just me, I could handle it - I've had many years of practice! But it hurts a LOT that DS won't have loving grandparents in his life like I did. I mean the IL's are great, but it's just not the same, and I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with their complete and utter lack of interest.
It's also hard as while I do have some great Mummy friends here, most of my closest friends live hours away, or on the other side of the country and I miss them.
18-01-2012 10:37 #35
For me, its pressure from family.
Im the f**kup of the family. My brother graduated high school, got a job, worked his way up and still works for the same company with a company car, fuel card, owns his own home (which I rent), lives in a flash house in the city and has always had his finances in check, all the while being a party boy and having soo much fun.
Me.....I left school 2 months before the end of yr 11, got a job, met a boy, moved out of home at 15yrs old........got pregnant at 19, split up with the dad and have bounced from rental to rental ever since. Ive had to borrow money (always paid back) from mum, dad and my brother and they always seem to have to help me out. So yeah.... Im the f**k up and feel the pressure to be better and do better 'just like my brother'.
They dont seem to understand that things are made more complicated because I have an anxiety and panic disorder and find it difficult to go out in public. They dont believe it...we're a very 'suck it up and keep moving' kind of family....'its all a state of mind'...'get over it'. Whilst I believe those things, saying is easier than doing.
I took a HUGE step this year and enrolled to do my Cert III in Childrens Services next month in a classroom environment rather than at home......sooo difficult for me....my mum took this news by being annoyed that I will need to put DS in after school care 2 days a week (I offered to pay her to watch him but she doesnt seem interested), my brother seems proud....but my dad see's it as a way of me dodging working. He see's it as me spending more money I dont have, in order to avoid getting a job. Its not good enough.
Anyway...that was longer than I meant it to be Lol In closing, Im also held back by how awesome I am....my fans stop me from going out into public
18-01-2012 10:40 #36Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Mine is that I'm a single mime. I get a lot of support from my mum and dad and I guess my other relatives are supportive but ds father has chosen not to have anything to do with him.this angers me and saddens me.his family all have attitude about my ds existence and so I have chosen to remove them all from my fb.the paternal grandad is nice ,he is os.
I also find it hard to make friends but I just persist and I have a couple and quite a few acquaintances..I am now finally living in a place I enjoy....I just keep thinking of the positive...
18-01-2012 10:43 #37
18-01-2012 10:51 #38Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
18-01-2012 11:03 #39
I'm a single Mum, living with my Mum. The kids Father barely acknowledges our kids and has dodged child support as best he can. I suffer from a "major depressive disorder" and find it hard to cope with parenting. I don't have a social life. I am constantly trying to find the money to survive yet if I go back to work, the two youngest would have to be in full time daycare, which would eat up my wage plus I'd be missing out on school things with my eldest and he would have to go in OHSC. I'm overweight and have zero self confidence and motivation.
18-01-2012 11:06 #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2005
House Call DoctorHouse Call Doctor can provide an urgent after-hours visit to you and your family, when urgent medical situations arise ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
PCOS, atypical hyperplasia and one loss post IVFPolycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Chat
Chickenpox after being immunised?Pro-Vaccination
Would you delay TTC because first child is starting first year of school.General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Egg Donation in South Africa #14Egg Donation