The early ****ty morning I have had has bought on a lot!! While I know he's still in bed sleeping I'm TRYING to manage 3 misbehaving children on my own while trying to keep myself together!!! God help me when the 4th arrives in 4 weeks!!!
I honestly don't know If I can do this on my own!!! I resent him for being such a **** partner that I had no choice but to leave him, I just want to ring him and yell and curse at him untill I feel better!!
Why why why couldn't he care, why couldn't he have been the person I wanted him to be?? Why did I have to spend so many years of my life trying to make things work between us when they never did in the end!!!
I'm so hurt yet so angry with him for leaving me to deal with OUR children while he can stay up late and not have to worry about having to get up early with the kids, go and see his friends whenever he wants but yet has no time to make an effort to even call his children!!!
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17-01-2012 09:13 #1
Its only been 2 days and I resent him already!!!
17-01-2012 10:16 #2-
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Wow, 54 views and no replies! Come on girls, sheesh I'm not even a single mother and can see this girl needs some support.
Jemma, was just reading through your past threads and you are so much better off with out that manipulative controlling egotistical BOY! Sounds like he needs to man up and take responsabilty, but unfortunately he wont until its too late. You will be much better off with out his influence in your life, you will, I promise. Seems like a massive mountain infront of you right now but you will get there, just take it day by day, or even hour by hour.
to you, and to your stoopid ex.
17-01-2012 10:33 #3
What an *******! I have 3 and another due soon. It's so full-on and I'm struggling to keep it all together with a supportive partner. Can you call on any family/friends that can help you with the kids at all?
Sorry hope it's ok for me to post in here- just couldn't read and not reply
17-01-2012 10:34 #4
Aww hugs. Let go of him, you can't make a person be a father, he has to want to be.
Once you let him go in your head, you might feel more in control of everything by yourself. One big worry will be gone.
I hope things improve, keep venting, we are here to listen.
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17-01-2012 10:37 #5
I'm not single, sorry if I'm over stepping.
I have read all your post about your ex and I'm so glad he is your ex, you seem like such a lovely person and great mother.
I'm really sorry that I have no advice that can help but I really wanted to send some
I'm sure the single hubbers will have some excellent advice and help for you.
17-01-2012 10:42 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I could have written your post, word for word. It's been over a year and I still feel that way often...
I think it is a very normal and valid way to feel, especially so early in the situation of being a single parent. it's infuriating to think of him cruising along easy street while you battle through every day...I really do know where you are coming from, and can empathise completely.
Be angry! Play music to suit your mood, smash a few plates, write it all down and get it out. Maybe you want to send him a letter expressing how you feel, or maybe you just want to do it for yourself.
The only "advice" I would give is not to let him control you...don't get too fixated on him and how this is all his fault. Don't do what I did- sort this stuff out NOW with him, do a mediation or whatever, establish a parenting plan that YOU are happy with, get CSA to collect child support. Don't make it too easy for him to keep shirking his responsibilities and making you mad...that will only cause the conflict to be ongoing and you will never feel free.
I made the mistake of leaving it and thinking things would sort themselves out, and that somehow us separating would make him step up as a father...I have no idea why I thought that. I also thought we could sort it all out among ourselves, care arrangements, child support, etc. I was wrong about that too.
It's so okay to feel angry and resentful...why wouldn't you. But let it fester and it will consume you. Things are going to be tough, but reach out and don't be afraid to get help if you need it. There are lots of services out there, and lots of good people who will lend a hand when they realise your situation. I doubted this but there really are
Take it easy *hugs*
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17-01-2012 10:44 #7
Do you have someone you trust that can look after your kids for a couple of days so you can get some much needed rest and recharge before bub is born, I can't imagine how you are feeling but please don't look back he isn't even worth the thought of resentment. Look forward to your future and see if you can get a good network of loving people around you that can help you out when you need it most. Big hugs.
17-01-2012 10:47 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
All I can say is that it does get better. Granted I don't have 3 children with another on the way. But I did end up a single mum at 20 with 8 month old twins and living 8 hours from home.
It's bloody hard, but you can do it! It sounds like you are much better off without him if that's the kind of person he is.
I am very lucky to have someone who treats myself and my DD's how we should be. XP has nothing to do with the girls and they refer to my DF as their dad.
Chin up, I hope you've got some family support.
17-01-2012 10:54 #9
17-01-2012 11:28 #10
Thanks to everyone who replied!!!
I know we need to sort things out in regards to visitations if he wants to his children! I told him that I won't be pushing it and if he thinks that he can walk in and out of their lives when it suits him he is dead wrong!!! He's either in their life or isn't!!
I also don't know what to do in regards to the new bub coming in a few weeks? Do I let him be in theatre with us ( elective c section), I want him to be but don't want him to think that it will make everything ok with us!! As hard as its going to be seen as though everything will still be fresh and so raw!! I don't want to cave!! As much as I wish that we were welcoming this baby into our family as one and not separates, I don't want my feelings of this make me cave!!
I know there is so much to work out in all this but I really don't want to speak to him or see him as I know he will just pressure me back again!!! I know it sounds silly but because I'm staying with a family member untill I get into a place of my own I really want as less contact with him as possible as when I'm in my own place I can't cave and give into him and that Way I can tell him to leave when I have had enough!!!
I still love him and know that just seeing him will make it all hurt more!!!
My daughter is ment to be going back to school next week to start grade 1 and I have no idea what to do as her school is about an hrs drive from where I'm staying!! I don't know if it's worth getting the rest if the book list even cause houses that are in my price range are in a different suburb that is about 40 mins away from her current school! Obviously if I get a place out there I will be changing schools as my car is a petrol guzzler!!!
Any advice on that one??
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