I want to get DS baptised in a Catholic Church but am terrified to organise it.
My older 3 children were all baptised in a Catholic Church and the priest always let it be known he wasn't too impressed that i wasn't married..
Now i have a 4th child... to somebody else... i'm still not married and would be going to a different church.
I called a few months ago and spoke to a lady in the office and when i mentioned it wasn't my first baby and i hadn't been to that church she said i would need to organise an appointment with the priest and i never called back!
Somebody told me that the priest can refuse to do it.. does anybody know if this is true?
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12-01-2012 22:19 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Can a church refuse to baptise a child because the parents aren't married?
12-01-2012 22:24 #2
Not at my church. My dd is baptised and I have always been single. Also my friends in a same sex relationship had their son baptised and will have the next one baptised too, they haven't had any problems.
12-01-2012 22:26 #3
My friend is an unmarried, single Mother and she has had her children (different Dad) baptised in the Catholic church without a problem. I don't think they'd be allowed to refuse anyone would they?
12-01-2012 22:28 #4
I don't think they can refuse, but some make you feel pretty crappy for not being married. I know a few people who have had the same talk and said they felt like they were in school again being spoken to like a naughty child in a Principles office.
12-01-2012 22:37 #5
Don't be automatically put off by the Parish secretary telling you you will need an appointment with the Priest first. It's *usually* standard for that to happen so the Priest can meet you first and foremost and then talk about the proposed Baptism etc. I would see it an opportunity for you to speak with the Father and tell him of your wish to Baptise your child (which is music to their ears) and take it from there. I know it probably seems intimidating and daunting, but *most* are a lot more liberal these days, they have to be.
Could you possibly ask the Priest who baptised your other children to speak with the Priest/Church you're wanting to go to this time?
12-01-2012 22:51 #6
Sometimes if you're less active they will ask you to do a preparation course to ensure you'll be able to raise your child to fulfill the covenants made, other times the priest will just want to get to know you (most likely).
I'm sure he'll bring up marriage, but it should have no bearing on your child being able to be baptized.
Most priests I know are realistic and compassionate, they point you in what they believe to be the right direction, but they know it has to be your own choice.
12-01-2012 23:07 #7
I'm a Catholic and our numbers are pretty bad at the moment so I really don't think they'll be turning you away. It's pretty common in this day that people chose not to get married, have kids with different people etc. At the same tine, maybe if you live in a more conservative area they could, I guess be a bit funny but I doubt it. Most priests I've met are actually quite down to earth.
Ps I know when my sister was getting baptized 30 years ago that the priest wasn't going to let me uncle (mums bro) be the godfather as he was Protestant (so is mum). My mum ripped into him though. Things have changed nowadays for sure!
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12-01-2012 23:11 #8
It Wouldn't Surprise me, A friend can't get her daughter Baptised Catholic cause of something her mother did in the 50's or 60's at a Catholic School.
They also couldn't get her into a Catholic school for the same reason.
12-01-2012 23:37 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
I have had my three children baptised, at two different churches. I have always had to organise an appointment, to discuss date and fill in paperwork with names/godparents/etc.
12-01-2012 23:46 #10-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Your priest sounds mean!
We got both the boys baptised before we got married and the local priest was so nice he never made me feel uncomfortable about it. In fact, the night before our wedding was our appointment to meet with the priest because DS2 was baptised 2 days after our wedding.
He was congratulatory and said he hoped we had a great day etc...
I don't think the Catholic church really looks down on unwed mothers like it used to because ts become so normal, as has having more than one father of your children. Don't let anyone make you feel like crap for any of those things.
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