Has anyone...

**rainbow road** · 10-01-2012 07:32

tried to find their biological father as an adult?

How did you do it? I think I want to (curiosity more than anything - I have a wonderful step father I'd never want to replace!) but have no idea how. I know his first and last name, but that's all.

I have a few minor health problems and I'd like to see if they match up to a family medical history on his side as well.

**GluttonForPunishment** · 10-01-2012 08:08

You're talking to the expert! I found mine at 28 - four years ago. I found him by going to your local Australian Electoral Commission and asking to view the electoral roll. Not everyone knows this, but viewing the roll is a part of your democratic right. There, you will find every single person enrolled to vote. So if you have a first and last name - middle name if possible - you will find him there. Providing he's not "John Smith" you should be able to at least get a short list.

**rainbow road** · 10-01-2012 08:17

Thank you! Stupid question, can you see DOB on the roll? Because if I could narrow it down by name and year of birth that might make things easier.

Mum ran into an old mutual friend a few years ago and at that time he was working in Hong Kong.

**Buttoneska** · 10-01-2012 08:24

Totally different but my DH found his bio dad (he was IVF baby made with donor sperm). Basically donors and offspring could voluntarily register and if offspring ever searched they would be hooked up with donor (donor was supposed to be anon but that obviously was a lie).

Anyway, that was about 6yrs ago I would say. He is not a father figure as such, more like an older friend. But it is uncanny how similar they are, and it was great to get his medical history and learn who is family was IYKWIM.

Good luck with your search!

**GluttonForPunishment** · 10-01-2012 08:26

I think it's only full name and address. I could be wrong though. If you have full name it certainly narrows it down pretty quickly. Overseas could pose a problem!

**rainbow road** · 10-01-2012 08:28

I guess if he's not on the roll then I can deduce he's still OS...

I looked his name up in the phone book once, there were only 4 or 5 in Sydney.

**Buttoneska** · 10-01-2012 08:29

Can you go to births, deaths and marraiges maybe?

There is a way to do it, because Can we help finds ppl all the time.

**Littlemissmetal** · 10-01-2012 08:38

Originally Posted by Forkie

tried to find their biological father as an adult?

How did you do it? I think I want to (curiosity more than anything - I have a wonderful step father I'd never want to replace!) but have no idea how. I know his first and last name, but that's all.

I have a few minor health problems and I'd like to see if they match up to a family medical history on his side as well.

I did. But it wasn't all happy endings in my senario.
I didn't have to "find" him. I knew where he lived and he knew where I lived. The last time I saw him was when I was 4, My mum left him and their toxic relationship behind. When I was 18, I fell pregnant, maybe it was the "pregnancy hormones" but for some sill reason, I was driving by his house one day, and decided I would visit, let him know he was going to be a granddad

Anyway, I remember shaking so much, I was so scared, knocked on his door and he had a blank face, I don't know if he recognized me, but I had to tell him who I was anyway. We had an awkward hug, and spoke for about half hour, I left my number.
He called once after I saw him, I can't remember what was said, but after that I never heard back from him again.
1 year passed and again I was driving past, Had then 6month old DS1 with me, decided to let him meet him. He wasn't home. He mother was, and again I left my number, it was awkward.
Never heard back from him again. He isn't the best man, abusive toward my mum and an alcoholic/drug addict. I don't know why I wanted to see him, I guess I was just curious. But I have never seen him since, and will not make an effort to see him again.

**rainbow road** · 10-01-2012 08:43

Honestly, I wonder if he even remembers I exist. I'm pretty sure his parents have no idea I do though.

**Buttoneska** · 10-01-2012 08:45

have you looked for him on FB? An email/internet/letter contact may be a good start to test the waters?

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