Hi all, I'm new to bubhub!
I'm in need of some advice from other parents who are currently or have dealt with toddlers and their behavioral problems & tantrums.
I'm a single mum with a 2.5 year old son. He is a lovely child, I adore him with all my heart but jeez he has been pushing my buttons to the point where I feel I can't cope with the daily struggle of being a parent.
He, all of a sudden about a month ago has decided to do anything and everything that he knows isn't a nice or good thing to do. Weather it be hitting, screaming, pouring water on his toys, throwing food around, refusing to eat anything healthy apart from bread. just general destructive behaviors that causes mess and havoc.
I feel I give him as much attention as I can, and keeps him entertained with various activities indoors and outdoors at home. We go to playgroup once a week, visit friends and family, takes him to the park etc and childcare when I am at work.
How do you suggest I approach his behavior? It is such a struggle to get him to do anything, as if he is walking all over me. It's so physically and emotionally draining, I can't keep up!
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09-01-2012 20:54 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
The terrible two's...save me!
09-01-2012 21:32 #2Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
They can be very testing at 2.5 and I think look for leadership at this age. Lead by example.!
I try to be firm and not let my 2yo DD she any reaction from me, like losing control or frustration.
Another good piece I was given was to pick your battles with your kids, like for example I choose not to battle over dinner - as long as I think what I have offered is a reasonable meal for them then I figure they can't be too hungry (I don't let them eat anything else til next meal time but don't make a big deal of it)
Where as I would feel the hitting is a battle I would choose to overcome as it's not a acceptable behavior.
Not sure if any of this helps but know that your not alone and we know it can be very frustrating & tiring.
Can a family member watch him for a night so you can 'recharge' and maybe feel refreshed with a new approach?
09-01-2012 21:44 #3
Subscribing - I am going to face the terrible twos when DD turns 2 on Friday the 13th!!
09-01-2012 22:13 #4
I ignore the tantrums until my Dd calms down then offer a cuddle and quickly explain that it won't get her anywhere.
BUT I try (and I emphasise try) to distract her before we get to that point, so offer a new game/activity.
I also use quiet time and if it continues to to escalate the we use time out. But only for approx 1-2 minutes.
Hugs, it really is soo hard parenting toddlers!
09-01-2012 22:23 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I'm subscribing too, we are facing this challenge at the moment. I posted a few days ago about it but didn't get a response, think it may have been in the wrong section
My DD has been beyond challenging the last couple of weeks, DH and I are tearing our hair out and fighting with each other too. Gotta love the terrible 2's
Sent from my iPad using Bub Hub app - auto correct is shut, it sax!
09-01-2012 22:35 #6
I hired the 123 Magic parenting DVD - i have only been using it for a week or so buuuuutt (I dont want to jinx it ) i think we may be on to something.
It is always great to hear other peoples tips and advice
09-01-2012 23:05 #7
Hi and welcome to bub hub
Ahh the "terrible" two's! Young ones can have a bit of trouble regulating their emotions and expressing their frustrations - and it's even worse when they lack the vocabulary to explain how they are feeling or why they are upset. They are still developing and learning, so the best solution, in my humble opinion, is to lead by example, and have a calm, gentle approach.
My son is 2.5, and I usually take him away from the situation, and calmy and gently explain why he shouldn't snatch toys/hit/bite/whatever it is he is doing. Prior to this, when he was too young to understand, I would simply remove him from the situation. I don't smack or yell. And I attempt, as much as possible, to anticipate certain scenarios where he may become frustrated or overwhelmed - the two biggest triggers for us are lack of sleep (i.e.: If he is due for a nap) and hunger. Sometimes there can be events triggering certain behaviour as well - external stressors, jealousy, seeking attention, picking up stress from someone else etc.
I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time lately, it can certainly be very challenging. For what it's worth, it sounds like you are doing a great job!
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