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  1. #1
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    Default Being a single mum sucks

    Before I dumped G's backside, I thought I could do the whole single mum gig, don't have to worry about having a douchebag man tell me what to do, I can do what I want, blah,blah, blah...but I hate it. Sure there are good things, but I am sick of being lonely, but having three children what man in his right mind would ever want to be with me now? When I was with ex at least I could leave the kids and go out with friends (ok it meant the house looked like a tip when I got home and the kids weren't bathed or whatever) but I got 'me time' my kids don't go to their dad's every second weekend like they used to because of an avo against him, so I am them 24/7. Skye is living with her aunty (long story which I don't wish to get into or be judged for right this moment) I still see her and pay for her and have two other kids to care for full time. I get a break (if I am lucky) about once every few months. It sucks and I am over it!!!!

  2. #2
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    Anyone else hate being a single mother?

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    I hate being married and feeling single, i have a parent child relationship with DH, can't really leave him with the kids or have 'me' time either due to his ABI. What plans will you make this year to improve things? Perhaps a part time job or volunteering at your DD's school might help and meet some new people?

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    There are men out there that accept a woman & her children. My son is engaged to a woman with 3 kids, husbands uncle married & became step-dad to 4 children. I know another woman who has 4 children & is engaged and expecting a 5th with her new man so, please don't think no-one would want you. In the meantime, nurturing yourself and trying to find ways to get out amongst people again such as a part-time job or volunteering as V8 suggested might be good.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Brunfelsia Dreaming For This Useful Post:

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  6. #5
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    I'm not a single mum, so please forgive me for posting in here. I felt I needed to though.
    Hun, I really think you need to see someone about the feelings you are experiencing.

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    Buttoneska  (09-01-2012)

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    I think there are ups and downs to being both partnered and being single. If you had of stayed with your ex do you think you would be happy?
    I agree that isolation and lonlieness of being a single mum does become somewhat tedious at times but in the grand scheme of things it's a million times better than being stuck in a bad relationship.
    I think the key is to get out there and do something so you aren't stuck at home with the kids 24/7 in that same boring rut.
    Have you thought about studying or getting some part time work? It would break up your week and give you some variety. I personally need to do something with my time otherwise i start to go stir crazy.

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  10. #7
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    I can understand the whole loneliness thing, it's often really really hard however you would much prefer to be in a relationship with someone you now have an AVO against ? That caused you so much grief beforehand & would mistreat you & your kids ? Is that really the life you want for your kids ?

    As for never finding anyone, well that isn't true. Having kids probably helps weed out all the complete idiots around who aren't worth your time anyways.

    You need to focus on you, why is it such a big deal you ' find someone '. No one else will ever make you happy that is on your own shoulders & something worth maybe going & doing counselling about so that you have someone to talk to & to build your confidence & self worth back up.

    I wouldn't say being a single mum is always awesome but I would definitely not want to be where I was a number of years ago because it was downright miserable. Times get tough & I don't get a break from mine either, I have them 24/7 with little to no help but we are mostly happy & I have surrounded us with those who care enough to be in our lives.

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    Last edited by laurea; 07-02-2012 at 13:20.

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    Having kids wont mean you wont ever have another relationship. I have 2 boys and have been happily re-partnered for over a year. Spend the time you have single, focusing on yourself and your kids, try a new hobby, or start attending a new playgroup. I know it's hard and sometimes doesn't seem fair, but your doing a great job.

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    Quote Originally Posted by V8 View Post
    I hate being married and feeling single, i have a parent child relationship with DH, can't really leave him with the kids or have 'me' time either due to his ABI. What plans will you make this year to improve things? Perhaps a part time job or volunteering at your DD's school might help and meet some new people?
    I was just about to say this... when I was married I felt like a single mother.. my exhusband and I had a parent/child relationship as well!

    Personally.. for me life is easier without him lying (in both senses) around the house.. sure two wages were easier, we'd have bought a house by now etc etc.. and yep I get lonely as well but overall if I had to go back to THAT life with him I'd probably top myself.. I was so close to walking out with or without the kids when married it was terrible. Now it's just me and the kids.. it's very stressful but at the end of the day it's me that gets the 'I love you's' from the children when they go to sleep and when they wake.. their father misses so much with them.. so many milestones (and doesn't seem bothered btw).. you're better off alone I believe. I don't need a man messing up my life and stressing me out.

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    laurea  (10-01-2012)


 

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