I've just about had it with some 'friends' in our lives. They invite us over for lunch/dinner, but the kids are made to stay outside. This is fine if the weather's mild and plenty of drinks and snacks are left out, but we've had people to this to us in 40 degree heat or pouring rain. When we casually mention that the kids would be better off inside, they reply with "There is 6 of them!" Usually we find an excuse to leave as soon as possible as our kids are miserable and we are offended.
I would never invite people over in those type of conditions and expect their children to stay outside. My children are noisy (try and find 6 kids together who are quiet), but they are not the sort of kids to trash a place, and we always clean up before we go. These people generally only have 1 or 2 children and so cringe at any further children entering their precious home.
I am sick and tired of being treated like outcasts when we visit these people. Unfortunately, due to work or family connections, they are not people we can just cut from our lives, but neither should we have to put up with this sort of treatment.
We've tried meeting up in a neutral place, but keeping an eye on 6 kids in a park is not easy. And we are sick and tired of these people always expecting to come to our house. Why should I put up with their kids messing up my place and be the one to always be cleaning up afterwards?
Have any of you other large families experienced this kind of social exclusion, and how did you handle it?
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08-01-2012 15:16 #1
When you never get invited anywhere because of your large number of kids...
08-01-2012 15:22 #2
I'm not sure where you are, but you and all 6 kids are welcome at mine I have 3 soon to be four of my own, and personally wouldn't make them "stay outside".... That sounds like they are being treated like animals IMO. They are kids!
I don't really know how to go about it.... Other then removing these people from your life. Have you tried to speak to these people about how being treated like that makes you AND your children feel? Sorry I'm not really much help....
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08-01-2012 15:25 #3
Please bring your 6 kids over here and have them play with and entertain my 2! What snooty snoot faces! Big hugs to you
08-01-2012 15:27 #4
Your kids are children, not animals! I can't believe your so called friends make them stay outside in all weather
I really think it's time you either told yours friends as much, or find some new friends.
I feel so sorry for you, that's so awful
08-01-2012 15:33 #5
I only have one and I find that extremely rude!!
I have a friend who has 2 and we never invite her around anymore because she lets her kids trash our house, teach DD bad habits and then leaves after breaking half her stuff. But if they just made a mess.. Pfft takes nothing to clean up toys.
So 6 that just played is better then 1 or 2 that just ruin everything and never get growled out.
08-01-2012 15:34 #6-
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I actually feel more comfortable having ppl over than going over to someone else's place. I can relax knowing my kids aren't trashing someone else's home and I don't mind if other kids trash mine.
I'm sorry that you've got such inconsiderate family and friends.
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08-01-2012 15:35 #7
It's one of the consequences of having a big family. We found having foster kids we weren't invited out nearly as much for similar reasons.
I won't have several friends here for dinner as my house is tiny, my kids toys are for babies and the parents always seem stressed out trying to watch them. I prefer to take dinner there as it's easier on everyone.
08-01-2012 15:41 #8
I have 7 kids and so totally and utterly, completely understand what you mean
We make our own fun now for that very reason!!
What state are you in? Maybe we should all go out to dinner together and have one hell of a dinner party
08-01-2012 15:44 #9
I totally get you too. I have found we are excluded from many invites to other peoples houses as we have 5 little kids . They are good kids and don't make a mess but people just get overwhelmed I think.
Don't know what to do about it though.....
08-01-2012 15:50 #10
i am one of 6 and i think you need new friends. my parents were friends with these people for yearssssss (i didn't like the mum and refused to go there after a while, i was i think 16 or something anyway. and mum eventually saw that i was right and she was pushy etc lol) BUT the point is they had some insane number of kids as well, so it was just like one big family. we spent a lot of time outside anyway because they had a pool and we didn't at the time. none of us were really little then though.
that's the main one i remember but i cannot recall ever having the hosts anywhere ask all of us to 'stay outside'. if you don't want the kids in your hair then invite the parents out somewhere other than your house. bah.
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