I think I'm losing my mind! I have 11 mth old twins, who have been taking it in turns to be poor sleepers. For the first 9 months, it was my DD, who was unable to self-settle, re-settle and was a cat-napper during the day. During this time, but DS was pretty good although still waking during the night. But for the last 2 months, they have swapped. My DS, sine he has 4 teeth come through all at once, is no longer self-settling, re-settling, frequently waking during the night. DD is better, but still is not sleeping through and cat-naps during the day.
A normal night for me is to attend to one or the other hourly, and I may get a 1 x 2hr block of sleep. I co-sleep with both of them (one in a side-car and the other in bed with me....not sure if this is really working, but I do feel better than being up and down like a yo-yo. I'm absolutely exhausted. I thought things would get better, but they are getting worse. Has anyone else had twins who were both poor sleepers? what did you do? how did you cope? (I'll do anything except anything remotely like CC). I always lie down when they have their naps, but I find if, for some reason I don't do that or I have to do anything extra during the day, I'm a mess. I think I am losing my mind some days!
Please tell me I'm not alone and that it really will improve!
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08-01-2012 13:00 #1
How to cope with 2 poor sleepers!!
08-01-2012 13:10 #2
Are you breastfeeding them? I ask because although I didn't have twins my boys were 14 months apart and while I was boobing them both my oldest didn't boob over night, he slept in another bed with DF which helped a lot, is that something you could try?
08-01-2012 20:01 #3
I've been wondering about that. I am still breastfeeding my DS, who has been the most recent problem sleeper. I've been wondering if maybe stopping BF would help matters. I've stopped feeding him to sleep (I never used to but started when he was teething, as he seemed to need more comfort), and things are slowly just getting better (as in waking 2hrly instead of hourly)..my mum is here next week, so I may see if he can sleep with her, and see if that makes any difference. Fingers-crossed!
Thanks for replying!
08-01-2012 22:44 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
You poor thing!! It must be really tough!! I have 2 x 10mo who were EXACLTY like that until about 3 weeks ago!!! Both my DS and DD were bad sleepers and they were waking ALL the time. I think it peaked when they were around 8 months when they were waking EVERY HALF AND HOUR!!! Plus we have a toddler so it's not like i can rest during the day. So by the time they were 9 months, my DH and I were totally exhausted. I was getting pretty depressed about it all. We had actually implement self-settling and a VERY STRICT routine from really early on. It was actually very good for during the day, but from 7pm onwards...it became a nightmare. My husband and I would be in and out of their room every 30 minutes. We were alway so scared that they would wake each other up or that they will ake up our toddler so we'd run straight in whenever there was a whimper. Looking back that was actually not helpful. We only found this out at 9 months cos by then we were SO exhausted that we would sleep through some of their crying. And they started sleeping through from midnight to 7am (when we were too tired to hear them). So after a while, we learnt to leave them and not settle them whenever they woke up between 7pm to midnight and sure enough...they are now FINALLY sleeping through most nights!!!! WOOHOO!! So i dont know if you'd like what i'm going to say, but i think you will prob have to teach them to selfsettle and let them cry a bit...i know how horrible it is (and how much you dont want them to wake the other twin up)....but it really worked for us!!! And i know how tiring it is but I think you may have to stop co-sleeping with them cos it may also be that which is causing them to be wakeful and in the long-term it will make you more exhausted!!! (also if they are in another room...you might be able to not hear them long enough for them to resettle by themselves). I'm breastfeeding my bubs still so you can bf and still have babies that sleep through!! However, the fact that you are lying next to them at night may mean that they smell your milk and so it may be another reason why they are wakeful?
I think it's great that your mum is coming next week...I suggest that you move them to another room and try and get your mum to help you resettle them at night. I also notice that my bubs resettled faster/better when my dh went to to resettle cos i think the smell of my boobs make them wake up and hungry. So your mum will be able to help you with that!!!
good luck!! hang in there!!!
09-01-2012 07:56 #5
Thanks Happy Child!
All those suggestions have been running through my mind. I think you are spot on! DS starts the night off in his own room, and there's been a few times where he will stir, but I haven't been able to get to him straight away and he has gone back to sleep. So I have been holding back, but when he is in the bed with me its impossible. DP has also become more active in re-settling, and for the most part is much more effective than I. But he works so still needs his sleep. Hopefully mum will be just as good.
I don't know how you do it with a toddler as well?!?! Superwoman!
Thanks again, I feel like I've got some direction again.
11-01-2012 21:51 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I can totally relate. I have 2x 2.5 year olds who still get up multiple times a night. We have tried everything except for sleep school and absolutely nothing works. The only saving grace I have is that they now go to bed in their own bed so I get a few hours of good sleep and they are no longer in cots so rather than waking up and screaming for me to get them, they wake up and scream their way (at different times) to my bed where I then get kicked for the rest of the night and my poor hubby ends up moving to their beds
Have you tried moving them to 1 big nap during the day if they are catnapping?
Are they waking each other up since they are in the same room, is co-sleeping waking them up?
How long do you let them go before you try to settle? Sometimes they may need a few minutes
12-01-2012 07:12 #7
I was hoping this was just a phase, and is not going to continue until they are 2.5yrs! 2.5years of broken sleep....I'm upset just thinking about that.
I have just thought about moving them to 1 nap a day, but they are still going off very easily for the 2nd nap, although it is just a powernap (30-45mins), so I think they really do need that 2nd nap, at least for a little bit longer. DD has always been a cat-napper during the day, and DS used to be very good napper but this has gone out the window since teething.
I don't think being in the same room causes to many of the wakings. Sometimes they do, but even when they are in separate rooms, which are very close together, they can wake each other. Yet other times, one can be screaming the place down, and the other one with sleep through it. I think it all depends where they are in their sleep cycle???
I probably do need to give them alittle longer to give them the opportunity to self-settle. Because they are right next to me, I'm very quick to give alittle pat or whatever.
I know we have to change things ,but it is definitely not working at the moment, but I really don't know exactly what to change.
Thanks very much for your reply. I hope your nights improve too..
12-01-2012 12:57 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Sorry I just re-read mine and it sounds awful and I hope I havent stressed you out further. We have a couple of other factors that have made my boys worse than the average toddler, Im sure yours will be sleeping through before they are as old as my 2!
When you put them down during the day do they get themselves off to sleep? Or do they need patting etc
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