This is such a tough one. I was bullied by one girl at school so bad I ended up leaving and being home schooled.
She spread rumors, abused me in front of people, once she came up to me and punched me in the face literally for no reason, then ran off and laughed.
I tried ignoring her, then sticking up for myself, my mum got the school involved and while they were supportive.... There's not much they can do.
Girls bullying is a lot worse and you can't see it... So it's harder to stop and even harder to escape. I believe unless the parent of the bully is onboard, it's hard to stop them, unless the suddenly grow up.
I honestly don't know what I'll do if my dd is bullied and I've had such negative experiences myself. It scares me already and she's only 2!
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07-01-2012 10:06 #11Senior Member
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07-01-2012 10:13 #12Senior Member
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This is why my kids will be doing self defense classes as soon as they are older enough. Something like mma or the likes of that.
At first I will go through the appropriate channels such as teacher, principal etc but if my children are continued to be bullied and it does eventually lead to violence atleast my children will know how to defend themselves.
07-01-2012 10:16 #13
*cracks knuckles* Plenty of experience with this and DS is only in yr 2 now.
Started in Kindy for him. So and so didnt want to play with him and called him names. I told him to leave them alone and go play with someone else. Ignore the bully. Worked alright.
Then came pre-primary. So and so ganged up with some other kids and they didnt want to play. FOB and my mother told DS to hit them back when they pushed him. DS struggled with pre-primary. Was in trouble every single day at school. He would run away from them as instructed by me, but the kids would follow him and continue to pick on him. So he'd show them not to mess with him and would hurt them.....one occasion he bashed two of their heads together. This was the one that resulted in him going to the principals office.
After that, I stalked the school. Can see his play area from the road. Id watch him play. My heart would break watching him play and a small bunch of kids come and antagonize him for seemingly no reason. Id watch him move away from them and them follow. Then I saw him hit/kick/punch them...and the teacher happens to only see DS reaction and not the event that caused him to react that way. So every day, he was in trouble and the teacher just hated him. Meeting after meeting went nowhere because she refused to listen to me that he was being bullied and was trying to tell us he was the bully.
Then came year 1. DS HATED school...HATED it. I drummed into him to leave the situation and go play with someone else. With a larger area (the whole school rather than a small sectioned off area) and more kids to interact with, DS was able to walk away and find other people to play with. He got in trouble a couple of times for fighting but that was sticking up for his friend who cries every morning before school because he gets picked on for being fat.
Its a tough one to navigate but you have to just go with it and take it as it comes. Different schools, different kids, different layouts. Kids will always pick on eachother and fights will always occur.
07-01-2012 10:23 #14
I was verbally bullied in highschool, my mum told me to get over it. Very helpful.
DD has already been bullied at school both physically and verbally (she has just turned 8) and I have never told her to hit back. I don't believe it solves anything. Instead, I have had many long conversations with her about coming to me about anything and about trust.
It took a little while before she came to me the first time but I went straight to her teacher (first stop) who went on to sort it out and the issue was dealt with. She was being verbally bullied by the same kids over and over during the last year but the school would do nothing about it. As we were moving interstate I didn't take it further, but DD and I had long chats every time it happened.
Unfortunately bullying is not going to go away, but I am trying what my parents never did and that is give my DD emotional support and to intervene when I can.
07-01-2012 10:24 #15
I ( and couple of other girls in my class) were bullied by another ,bigger, girl in yr2 and 3. Mum would tell me to walk away, talk to the teacher,etc which did NOTHING..would end up with my hair pulled, pushed to the ground and sat on, lunch stolen. This went on for over a yr. Than my aunt said to stand up to her. So I did..it surprised the bully but when she didnt back down I punched her in the stomach and in the face...surprise surprise the bullying stopped!!
I know its not right to hit and I would take the ignoring/teacher telling approach first..but if that fails than I have no issue with DD defending herself in whatever way necessary.
07-01-2012 10:47 #16
I was bullied alot at primary changed schools often and then found my best friend and ages he stood up for me n taught me how to stand up for myself I now tell my DS to say I don't like it stop it to go away from them if they don't stop tell the teacher he's starting kindy this yr n im a Lil bit worried of him being bullied but his past actions give me faith that he will stand up for himself
A child at preschool constantly bullied him he ignored it told the teacher etc this went on for 3 weeks until he had enough and punched the child in the face n pushed him over yelling at him to leave him alone the bully stopped after that
He knows to stand up for himself and will if he has to
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07-01-2012 11:45 #17
This is such a hard question, especially since, like a lot of pp, I was bullied as a child by people at school & my older brothers. My Dad always stuck up for me and supported me, but my Mum, who was around much much more than Dad, did nothing. Then more recently I spent 3 years trying to conquer a bullying situation at work before getting jack of it and leaving - taking my high performing @rse with me and leaving the business with a deadbeat who did no work but was a massive bully - go figure.
DP has always said our kids will do self defence of some description, and he'd like me to do it too. I tend to agree with him, though I will be trying to instil a level of passivity in my kids. I am generally pretty relaxed and not much phases me until a certain point when, if pushed further, I will have no trouble and no regrets about ripping someones face off and spitting on their writhing body. I'm not sure it's the best way to behave and it's gotten me in trouble more than once. But I don't know what a better solution is when someone is just an a-hole - for myself or for my babies.
07-01-2012 15:35 #18
Last edited by FloatingFairy; 17-02-2012 at 14:00.
07-01-2012 16:28 #19
I hope to teach dd other methods of dealing with bullies, and instilling enough self confidence that she knows she is ok, even if she is picked on. But if there ever comes the day that all other avenues are exhausted, i am mire than happy for her to defend herself physically. Sometimes it is the only thing dropkick bullies understand, unfortunately. I did martial arts as a child, and even.though i only had to resort to actually using my skills once, i was muchmore confident knowing i "could" do something if need be, even though i would most often use other methods such as removing myself from the situation.
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Last edited by Super Trooper; 07-01-2012 at 16:31.
07-01-2012 17:55 #20
DD has and will continue to be told first to ignore them, and if the bullying doesn't stop, to hit back. Especialy when it has been boys that are doing the bullying, and are physically hurting her. I won't allow people to physically hurt my children just because they feel like it.
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