Definitely not critical! A person can (and many do) live full and happy lives without children, even if they are desperately wanted... comparing it to denying someone life-saving medical treatment is like calling a skink an anaconda- ridiculous!
Interestingly, a friend was telling me about a dr she knows that is vehemently against IVF- his reasoning is that if two beings cannot procreate together, there is a reason for that- those two children were just not MEANT to have children together for whatever medical/genetic reason (dr's reasoning- not mine!) and by doing IVF, they are weakening the gene pool. This dr is also an IVF baby, incidentally.
And slightly off track... there used to be a school of thought a few years ago that IVF children might have trouble having their own children, and so would have to use IVF, and so would their children and so on and so forth... I'd be interested to hear whether or not that is still the current school of thought on the matter!
Either way- it's for no one else to judge on whether you use IVF, or turkey baster, or yanno.. any other method of conception in the struggle to become pregnant... (I always ask the kids at school who complain/comment on others actions "and how does it affect you?" and 9/10 they cannot give me a proper reason) so to all your friends, I would just say "and how does it affect you?"
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06-01-2012 16:29 #11
06-01-2012 16:31 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
No more hypocritical than a person who doesn't want to have children at all, even though their parents had them. (Did that make sense?) The comparison to a medical treatment doesn't really make sense to me at all.
I think it's interesting, but that's just because I'm generally interested in people's opinions and where they come from.
06-01-2012 16:33 #13
Many people choose not to have children despite their parents having had children. That doesn't make them hypocrites.
Just because your parents made a choice doesn't mean that you are obligated to make the same choice.
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06-01-2012 17:10 #14
I agree with PP's in that he is not hypocritical. He doesn't have to be in favour of IVF just because his parents needed it to create him.
However, I do believe its selfish of him to take such a strong stance and say he would never do IVF. The decision to seek, or not seek, assisted reproduction should be one that you make together.
For your sake OP, I hope you readily agree with his views and don't come to resent him later in life for denying you the chance to be a mother.
My FS has reassured me that once you've conceived through IVF and the pregnancy is viable, your child is no different to one conceived naturally.
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06-01-2012 17:17 #15
06-01-2012 17:24 #16
Agree with everyone! How can this be hypocritical??? Crazy. And it's not like refusing medical treatment.
I am of the same thinking I guess as your DH. My DH and I have decided not to pursue any help with getting pregnant. We jointly decided that if it's meant to be it will be and we're at peace with either way it goes-whether we have a baby or not. I have friends who've gone through IVF and I support them. Everyone is different. This does not mean you are childless by choice, if your body can't do it it can't do it. You don't have a choice when it comes to that. I don't think that ppl calling him hypocritical are even close to being correct. He didn't decide to be an IVF baby- what a ridiculous argument!!!
06-01-2012 17:40 #17
thanks guys - i told DH what you all said and his response was "yeh i knew i was right, im always right"
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06-01-2012 18:30 #18
Completely agree - not hypocritical at all! It is a personal choice and one only you and your hubby can make! My personal view is that infertility is a medical issue that stops you from having babies and I personally would take the road of IVF to overcome this. I don't think that we shouldn't reproduce or that it's God's way to tell us we shouldn't have children. But never would I look down on someone or call them hypocritical for not wanting to go down that road, nor compare it to life saving medical treatment. Good luck with your journey and don't let others opinions question your decision - as PP said - it doesn't effect them, you do what you feel is right and what goes with you beliefs
06-01-2012 18:36 #19
A question though - you say your hubby doesn't want to do IVF. Have you the same viewpoint or would you go down the IVF road if he agreed?
06-01-2012 18:55 #20
I don't think it is hypocritical, he is entitled to his opinion. The only time it would really be an issue would be if you disagreed with him.
In regards to the dr who has an issue with IVF
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