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  1. #11
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    Definitely not critical! A person can (and many do) live full and happy lives without children, even if they are desperately wanted... comparing it to denying someone life-saving medical treatment is like calling a skink an anaconda- ridiculous!

    Interestingly, a friend was telling me about a dr she knows that is vehemently against IVF- his reasoning is that if two beings cannot procreate together, there is a reason for that- those two children were just not MEANT to have children together for whatever medical/genetic reason (dr's reasoning- not mine!) and by doing IVF, they are weakening the gene pool. This dr is also an IVF baby, incidentally.

    And slightly off track... there used to be a school of thought a few years ago that IVF children might have trouble having their own children, and so would have to use IVF, and so would their children and so on and so forth... I'd be interested to hear whether or not that is still the current school of thought on the matter!

    Either way- it's for no one else to judge on whether you use IVF, or turkey baster, or yanno.. any other method of conception in the struggle to become pregnant... (I always ask the kids at school who complain/comment on others actions "and how does it affect you?" and 9/10 they cannot give me a proper reason) so to all your friends, I would just say "and how does it affect you?"


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    No more hypocritical than a person who doesn't want to have children at all, even though their parents had them. (Did that make sense?) The comparison to a medical treatment doesn't really make sense to me at all.

    I think it's interesting, but that's just because I'm generally interested in people's opinions and where they come from.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    but do you think he 'of all ppl' should be more open to it?

    someone compared it to refusing your child a medical treatment for eithical reason when this treatment was given to you as a child and saved your life?
    The 'hypocrite because you wouldn't exist otherwise' argument is daft, in my opinion. I imagine there are a lot of people walking around today because of contraception failure. Despite their origins I bet many of them use contraception themselves and prefer it to be reliable. That doesn't make them hypocrites.

    Many people choose not to have children despite their parents having had children. That doesn't make them hypocrites.

    Just because your parents made a choice doesn't mean that you are obligated to make the same choice.

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    I agree with PP's in that he is not hypocritical. He doesn't have to be in favour of IVF just because his parents needed it to create him.

    However, I do believe its selfish of him to take such a strong stance and say he would never do IVF. The decision to seek, or not seek, assisted reproduction should be one that you make together.

    For your sake OP, I hope you readily agree with his views and don't come to resent him later in life for denying you the chance to be a mother.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nomsie View Post
    Interestingly, a friend was telling me about a dr she knows that is vehemently against IVF- his reasoning is that if two beings cannot procreate together, there is a reason for that- those two children were just not MEANT to have children together for whatever medical/genetic reason (dr's reasoning- not mine!) and by doing IVF, they are weakening the gene pool. This dr is also an IVF baby, incidentally.

    And slightly off track... there used to be a school of thought a few years ago that IVF children might have trouble having their own children, and so would have to use IVF, and so would their children and so on and so forth... I'd be interested to hear whether or not that is still the current school of thought on the matter!
    Oh I had to laugh at that Nomsie! I can't believe a Dr could be so ignorant. All IVF does is bring together a mature egg & healthy sperm that would otherwise have little chance of meeting. Modern science cannot force that egg to fertilise, or for it to become a viable embryo, or for it to implant in the mother's womb, or develop into a full-term baby. Mother Nature is still very much involved! There may be a higher incidence of abnormal embryos created with IVF, but they are unlikely to result in a live birth.

    My FS has reassured me that once you've conceived through IVF and the pregnancy is viable, your child is no different to one conceived naturally.

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    but do you think he 'of all ppl' should be more open to it?

    someone compared it to refusing your child a medical treatment for eithical reason when this treatment was given to you as a child and saved your life?
    Rubbish! Sorry, but what a poorly thought out argument. How can not saving an existing life be compared to not creating a new one? There is no comparison they are two completely different situations. They both involve hospitals but that is about it!

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    Agree with everyone! How can this be hypocritical??? Crazy. And it's not like refusing medical treatment.

    I am of the same thinking I guess as your DH. My DH and I have decided not to pursue any help with getting pregnant. We jointly decided that if it's meant to be it will be and we're at peace with either way it goes-whether we have a baby or not. I have friends who've gone through IVF and I support them. Everyone is different. This does not mean you are childless by choice, if your body can't do it it can't do it. You don't have a choice when it comes to that. I don't think that ppl calling him hypocritical are even close to being correct. He didn't decide to be an IVF baby- what a ridiculous argument!!!

  9. #17
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    thanks guys - i told DH what you all said and his response was "yeh i knew i was right, im always right"

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    Completely agree - not hypocritical at all! It is a personal choice and one only you and your hubby can make! My personal view is that infertility is a medical issue that stops you from having babies and I personally would take the road of IVF to overcome this. I don't think that we shouldn't reproduce or that it's God's way to tell us we shouldn't have children. But never would I look down on someone or call them hypocritical for not wanting to go down that road, nor compare it to life saving medical treatment. Good luck with your journey and don't let others opinions question your decision - as PP said - it doesn't effect them, you do what you feel is right and what goes with you beliefs

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    A question though - you say your hubby doesn't want to do IVF. Have you the same viewpoint or would you go down the IVF road if he agreed?

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    I don't think it is hypocritical, he is entitled to his opinion. The only time it would really be an issue would be if you disagreed with him.

    In regards to the dr who has an issue with IVF

    Quote Originally Posted by lindylou78 View Post

    Oh I had to laugh at that Nomsie! I can't believe a Dr could be so ignorant. All IVF does is bring together a mature egg & healthy sperm that would otherwise have little chance of meeting. Modern science cannot force that egg to fertilise, or for it to become a viable embryo, or for it to implant in the mother's womb, or develop into a full-term baby. Mother Nature is still very much involved! There may be a higher incidence of abnormal embryos created with IVF, but they are unlikely to result in a live birth.

    My FS has reassured me that once you've conceived through IVF and the pregnancy is viable, your child is no different to one conceived naturally.
    They have actually done some studies which have raised some concerns, whilst it doesn't mean people shouldn't have IVF it raises some interesting questions and means IVF babies should be particularly mindful and monitor their health.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...-timebomb.html

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80...later-in-life/
    Last edited by Hootenanny; 06-01-2012 at 18:57. Reason: adding link


 

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