I never know how to make him aware of hows he's upset me without sounding like a fish wife or blubbering pathetic fool.
And then if he ever says I look nice, i'll just think its because I told him off for not saying it, you know?
He asked me just before what was wrong, as I was looking a bit cross, he asked me if I was tired. I just said yes. It's true anyway, and I'm not going to win a who's more attractive competition with the girlfriend. She DID look gorgeous. I just need to lose about 40kg and I'll be a competitor again.
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Results 11 to 20 of 22
03-01-2012 23:09 #11
03-01-2012 23:16 #12
No no no! Size schmize. You're in no contest here. And it's not about him calling her gorgeous. It's that he doesn't pay the same attention to you! It's not about her. Maybe don't do it tonight. Get a good sleep. But I really suggest just being honest with him and tell him that you feel unloved! That he doesn't pay attention to you as a woman anymore. And that a compliment here and there would just brighten your whole day.
You'll find that he loves you. But we can grow stale and get used to those around us and take them for granted. Talk to him!
You'll have to excuse the iPhone auto correct. It sax!
04-01-2012 00:03 #13
DP isn't big on the compliments either. He does it when he's drunk, but otherwise I'm on my own. I have to ask, and then I just get a "uh-huh."
Not that he's ever said anything like your partner did to someone else, I know he comments on how other girls look... if not to me then to his mates (I've seen messages before, "OMG I worked at this house today and the chick there was so hot..." etc etc).
Makes me feel like crap sometimes, and I stupidly thought losing weight would change things but they haven't. I just think he's not big on compliments... I don't get complimented much in regards to anything, not just my looks.
It can't just be your size either - I've lost a bit, as you can see in my sig, and it hasn't changed the way DP behaves. Also last time I went out I was 107.2kg, 2 nights before I started my pre-op diet. I got HEAPS of compliments (mostly from gay guys, gay girls and straight girls... I don't think there were any straight guys around). I know plenty of bigger girls who are damn sexy... much sexier than smaller counterparts... so you can sure as hell "compete" against some skinny little thing... don't think "Oh, I'm fat so I'm not worth attention." That's a sucky headspace to be in.
Last edited by SassyMummy; 04-01-2012 at 00:06.
04-01-2012 00:23 #14
I guess theres always that voice that says, he doesnt compliment you because he thinks you look terrible. 4 years ago before I lost 26 kg, after i pushed him to respond while we were fighting about something, he told me he didn't find me attractive any more. That was pretty tough, and it took me ages to get over it. We never really did talk about it again.
We've been together for nearly 12 years, so I know he loves me. But does he find me attractive? I don't know. I'm certainly not going to ask! I don't want to know. What if he says no again? I've had a baby now, and have a super saggy tummy, stretch marks, huge boobs (not perky ones)
We're getting married in 10 weeks. I have this horrible feeling he wont even remark on my appearance on our wedding day either.
I don't know. I'm just having a poor me moment. maybe I'm being over sensitive and vain.
Last edited by northern; 04-01-2012 at 00:28.
04-01-2012 00:38 #15
I'm sure you looked beautiful. I also 'smudge with fingers' to do my makeup, but believe me it looks better than 'professional' makeup a lot of the time (on my sisters engagement myself, my sister and my mum paid to get our makeup done. We looked like drag queens ) I bet the girl thought you looked good too and honestly like so many people have said, our partners often say dumb dumb stuff some times and don't realise until we say. A cut and blowdry? My 'going out' hair is adding a headband
I am here to pm if you need a chat, I know how that stuff can get irritating
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04-01-2012 00:54 #16
You aren't vain. I promise. People change, and their appearance change. I got married this year and I DO NOT look the same as I did when I met my husband 10 years ago. Saggy boobs and a jelly belly later, here I am. My husband talked about how he loved me as a person more than anything in our speech, and it meant so much to me. Anyone can be a peroxide, perky ti*s, 6 pack chick, but not anyone can be you. Your husband to be loves you for who you are. I know they can say some dumb dumb stuff some times thy makes you think otherwise, but I'm sure right now he thinks he is the luckiest man in the world
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04-01-2012 00:57 #17
Thats just it I hadn't had my hair cut since I was pregnant, before even.
So I asked him, in a hurt voice, did I look gorgeous too?
He laughed and said yeah.
I will have to be happy with that I think.
04-01-2012 00:59 #18
Sorry I just realised I repeated the 'dumb dumb stuff' twice. I promise I don't talk like this in real life
04-01-2012 01:14 #19
Pm'd u xox
04-01-2012 04:23 #20
I bet you looked absolutely gorgeous too! Men's brains just don't quiet work as well as they should sometimes (sorry Glutton lol)
And don't be upset about being a little bigger or having a sagging tummy. You just had a baby and you earned that tummy! That's what I tell my DF anyway lol
You should book in for a little pamper and get your hair cut, maybe a colour or some foils or highlights or something. I did that about a month ago when I was feeling a little plump and unattractive after having DD2 and it's amazing how a little "you time" can lift your spirits
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