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  1. #11
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    I agree with you finding out and not sharing with your husband. My husband wanted to know but I didn't. And I made him promise me not to tell me no matter what. So it was written down and he knew from 20 weeks and despite him telling most of his friends I didn't find out. Oh and I begged even when I was in labor he wouldn't tell me, until I could see for myself.
    So one of us knowing the sex worked out fine in our situation.

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  3. #12
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    Could you go & get a 3D scan done while he's at work? We had one done at 15weeks last time & they were right


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  5. #13
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    Find out yourself but don't tell him.

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  7. #14
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    I agree ^^ find out for yourself but don't tell him.

    Anything gender specific you can buy, maybe put in a cupboard and tell DH not to go into that cupboard maybe??

    I hope you reach a compromise

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  9. #15
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    When my best friend went for her 2nd baby she wanted to find out but her DH definitely didn't. She was disappointed. When the ultrasound tech asked if they wanted to know the sex he said no right away and she said thats debatable. When she went out to go to the toilet the ultrasound tech followed her and asked her if she wanted to know. Still to this day (child is over 1 now) the father didn't know she knew. Actually I am the only one that knows she knew.

    Maybe you can go before and ask explain to them and somehow they can tell you without DH knowing. I know this doesn't help with you bonding together with Dh over the sex, but it could help you. I totally understand worrying about the sex as I really want a girl this time too.

    My SIL and cousin knew and their partners knew they knew and never let it slip all the way through the pregnancy.

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  11. #16
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    My cousin was in the same predicament not long as. She wanted to find out the gender but her DH didn't. Everyone knew they weren't going to find out because they didn't with their first. When they had the ultrasound DH changed his mind and they found out. But they swore not to tell anyone. She didn't even tell her family or best friends. How about that?!

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  13. #17
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    I think it is an individual decision and if you should be able to make up your own mind. I'd also play the card that times and opinions change. I bet your partner has changed his mind about something before.

    I hope his family eases up on you. Having everyone constantly bombard you with unsolicited opinions is never fun. If they don't want to know, in my opinion, it's easy. They don't have to know. Doesn't mean you can't find out!

    My husband and I are expecting our first baby in September and we both want to know. No preferences on gender but I have a feeling it will be a boy. I hope you get your precious little girl

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  15. #18
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    We aren't finding out this time. I would like to know, but there's no way that I could keep it from DH. We are in a similar situation in that last time we had no money, so if we were to buy anything I wanted to know that I would be able to use it. Most of our clothes, toys everything were hand me downs.
    This time I am hoping for a girl, so I've bought a couple of pink newborn things for the hospital, but I will just shop for dresses afterwards. If I don't get my girl then I have several friends who are having babies within the following weeks that I can give my pink things to.
    Luckily our morphology scan has already passed and I was feeling strong in our (DH's) decision that day!

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    Arusaamatus  (04-01-2012)

  17. #19
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    Thanks again guys for your replies.

    Good news! We're finding out!

    I spoke to my husband again last night, and in the process got quite emotional, he said he didn't realise I felt so strongly about it and said "I was gonna wait for the scan day to tell you we can find out" Not sure I believe him, but I made sure he agreed to find out because he wants to, not because I was upset.

    We're pondering whether to tell family or not, We probably won't tell his side of the family (Is it sad that one of the positives of having a girl would be an 'in your face' to my 'psychic' MIL? She's adament I'm having a boy - Don't get me wrong, I love her and all, but I'd love her to be wrong lol).

    Anyway, we might tell my parents, they're interested in knowing, but we're still thinking about it.

    I'm glad he changed his mind, As much as I'd love to find out and not tell him, I suck at keeping secrets (especially when I'm excited about it) and I would feel guilty going behind his back (though I was still considering doing it )

    Thanks for your help and input everyone, bring on 31st of January!

  18. #20
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    Yay! Make sure you come back to this thread and let us know what you're having

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    laurea  (30-01-2012)


 

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