my son is on the wait to get assessed...but we've known from early that he is bright...i'm on the fence re gifted.
he struggled badly through prep...boredom, a symetric development, not so great social skills, a bully...the year sucked! his teacher tried...but overall, he was bored and hated it. it was one of my hardest ever years as a parent.
moving on to year1, we were both apprehensive but it was much better for him. more academic, more structured, the teacher was able to set him work that challenged him...it was great. We also started taking him to gateways (gifted and talented education series) and he loved it. he was working with kids who were on his level...he was not the smartest there...he learnt all sorts of fascinating facts....he LOVED it. he still talks about the berlin wall project he did there).
I am nervous about the new year to come...a new teacher who i don't know and not sure how she will go with DS in her class (although the head of junior school has assured me that they are going to get one great) and they are also starting an "oportunity" type club that will run in some class time and some lunch times that he has been ear marked for.
My son loves learning...i have found a few things have really helped him though...
doing an activity that he has to work hard at (for us it was something physical as that was his weakness) so that he learns how to work hard and how to not be the best but keep trying regardless.
Playing lots of board games where he learns to win and lose graciously (although he can now beat everyone except me at chess lmao...and i have to work to win).
having regular debriefs with him and with school so he has a chance to offload the emotions. When he was being bullied i always asked him what he would like me to do...ie are you handling or do you want me to speak to your teacher?
do extra assignments to fit his interests at home
encourage him to be himself and that we (and loads of others) love him for who he is. reassure him that some people may not like him (just like he prefers some to others) and thats ok.
i have found some comments from other parents worse than some kids...but needless to say, the kids of the parents who say *****y things are the ones who gave ds a hard time!
hang in there...it can be hardcore...and there is generally little empathy from the general populous...but you are not alone
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08-01-2012 17:38 #11Senior Member
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08-01-2012 20:40 #12
08-01-2012 21:04 #13
Ds1 isn't gifted but highly intelligent, highly sensitive and highly anxious.
He has been seeing the school psychologist to help him comprhend his feelings and thoughts. She uses a lot of play therapy (playdough, drawing etc).
It has been wonderful and so beneficial for him.
Unfortunately we can't continue to see her so we have been referred to see a qualified "play therapist" in the new year.
I definitely recommend looking into something similar.
10-01-2012 07:39 #14
Psychomotor - surplus of energy: rapid speech, pressure for action, restlessness impulsive actions, nervous habits & tics, competitiveness, sleeplessness.
Sensual – sensory and aesthetic pleasure: heightened sensory awareness eg sights, smells, tastes, textures, sounds, appreciation of beautiful objects, music, nature, sensitivity to foods and pollutants, intense dislike of certain clothing, craving for pleasure.
Intellectual – learning, problem solving: curiosity, concentration, theoretical & analytical thinking, questioning, introspection, love of learning and problem solving, moral concern, thinking about personal and social moral values.
Imaginational – vivid imagination: creative & inventive, a rich and active fantasy life, superb visual memory, elaborate dreams, day dreams, love of poetry, music and drama, fears of the unknown, mixing of truth and fantasy, great sense of humour.
Emotional – intensity of feeling: complex emotions, extremes of emotion, empathy with others, sensitivity in relationships, strong memory for feelings, difficulty adjusting to change, fears and anxieties, inhibition, timidity, shyness, self-judgment, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, heightened awareness of injustice and hypocrisy.
10-01-2012 08:22 #15
I can relate, me and my sister were both extremely advanced for our age at school and placed first in the state for the standardised testing in our respective year groups.
My parents were a little suprised as they were a bricklayer and a housewife and wasn't sure how to deal with it. However, I think they did a fantastic job. They applied no pressure, however they made sure all the doors were open, so to speak. They got us in to a public school which ran academic extension (couldn't afford private) and mum did some out of school work with us if we asked to.
I run riot at times and was especially a trouble maker at high school, but it eventually all smoothed out. I'm now a successful professional (and expecting my first!) and my sister is a professor of physics at a university in america (at the tender age of 29). A guy we know who did our academic extension classes with us was pressured endlessly by his parents, dropped out of uni and now smokes pot all day.
My best advice is to create opportunities without applying pressure, and also to make your child feel as normal as possible. Super-intelligent is one thing, but intelligent and completly socially incompetent is another. I guess I agree with Toughlove quite a bit there!
10-01-2012 08:53 #16
Just quickly looking through that list though, i can see a few things that might apply, not so much the psychomotor category but definitely the other 4. But its hard to know how many of them are just normal behaviour. I mean, we all love our kids and go 'wow!!' when we see them being clever and grown up, don't we? Anyway thanks for the info
14-01-2012 13:43 #17
Thanks for all your replies,
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this thread. It's nice to hear that we aren't alone. So many people inour life don't take it seriously and dont realise how things can be so detrimental to his mental health.
To the people whose children are soon to be tested, would love to know how you get on with it all. If you feel comfortable posting about it.
Not all gifted children suffer from the down side of being gifted but a large percentage do. My DS finds it difficult to socialise with kids his own age as his mind works so differently and he ends up acting up because he is frustrated and bored.
An example of how his mind overthinking affects his everydaylife...
Last year when he attended kindy they went for a school visit to see the animals. After a while the kindy teacher said..we better get orginaised to head back to kindy as your parents will be there soon to pick you up. Soon after it began to rain and they took cover. My DS started to cry and was hard to console. All the other children were just staring at him.
When the teacher asked him what was wrong he responded with...
You just said earlier that our parents were coming to pick us soon but then you made us hide from the rain. Now because we are wasting time under this cover our parents will be at the kindy wondering where we are. then they will leave and by the time we get back everyone will be gone and i won't get home.
His mind runs on that frequenecy all the time. So his mind thinks about everything you say in depth yet he doesn't have the life experience or capacity to understand his thoughts if that makes sense.
It can be quite draining. His psychologist gave me some info on gifted children and this really stands out for me....
Their need to know everything and constant questions are often seen as underminding authority,
Their excessive energy is often seen as hyper activity,
Their intense overwhelming emotions are often seen as being "sooky",
Their difficulties relating to children their own age can often been seen as being anti social and not friendly.
They are just a few of the misconceptions involved with a gifted child and it is so difficult for them to be understood by people. We are really lucky that the psychologist wrote a report for the school and had meetings with our sons teacher to ensure he is supported and understood as best they can.
After saying all that, it's so incredible and amazing to witness how his mind works and how clever he is. I wonder how i am going to help him with his homework in the future years, he will probably be teaching me
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