With knowing your child may/will not reach his/her Milestones.
(Sorry if this is a touchy subject)
My ds was born with a very rare Hormone Deficiency and because of that it's harder for him to do everyday things with out his medication which he has to take daily.
When ds was born we were told he may not crawl walk talk or do anything at all we are lucky enough to have ds walking and beginning to run but his speech is way behind and in some other areas as in no idea with tting.
I know i am probably worrying to much but when i read and hear about what other 2.5 yr old's are doing and ds is no where near that it really start to worry about him though i guess not all 2.5yr olds have at least 6 hospital visits a yr for up to 5 days but i know we have the best Doctor's and nurse's looking after him.
It's just really hard.
So how do you cope with this (sorry if this is to personal)
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29-12-2011 22:31 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
How Do you cope
30-12-2011 23:17 #2
firstly *super duper hugs*
both of my children have autism, my first son also has a language disorder. he can talk but he it comes out wrong a lot of the time, he would be delayed anywhere from 1-2 years although his disorder is permanent and not considered a delay..
and my 2.5 yr old...well hasnt reached some milestones and while everyone in our birth group are TTing their toddlers (and even family members with younger children who are tt'ing) its just not on the cards for us for quite some time. he still has a dummy as well. and he is regressing on a monthly basis..
i cope because i try to follow these.
1) acceptance; accept that the rules no longer apply to you and your child, you are in a whole different ball park, it honestly doesnt matter what any other child is doing, because the only child u hafto worry about is your own, comparing children even children who dont have special needs always leads to panic and feeling bad.
2) let go of false hope; i spent so long thinking that one day everything will just be magically fine. and then when something happened (a failed report card, seeing my child shut down completely around another child... a regression etc) i would be devastated, like id gotten the news all over again that they had autism. once i stopped hoping for a magical cure, realised this is forever, and wishing for it to be better wasnt helping anyone, i slid easily into acceptance.
3) focus on the positives. you were told your little boy might not ever walk...and now he is almost running! amazing! that is one very important possible problem that u can cross off your list! the achievements your boy makes are going to be that much more triumphet because u will know how much harder he has had to work to get there. i'm extremely proud of my boys.
i dont know if any of that has helped. im always happy to chat if u wanna pm me
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03-01-2012 15:11 #3
For me (our daughter has CP) it's a case of not putting her in the same basket as other children. She is unique and I don't expect the same from her physically as I do my other 4 kids.
I just take each day as it comes, cry happy tears for each accomplishment and NEVER look too far into the future (that's where depression lurks).
I treat her the same as my other children, although her requirements are slightly modified, but she still has chores, gets time-out and is expected to at least try to do most things for herself (with help).
I was told many years ago by one of my OT's... don't treat her any different or feel sorry for her, she know's life no differently, only you know what she's missing out on. Very wise and wonderful advice.
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