First i'd like to apologise if there is already a thread about/similar to this in here and i've missed it. I'm reasonably new to bub hub, and did a quick search but couldnt find anything ABI specific.I'd also like to apologise as this will be a long post.
I was really just wondering if there are any bub hubbers out there who have an ABI/partner/other family member/child has one?
The reason i am asking this is because my DH has one. And i'm kind of curious as to how others cope and what it is like being a parent with an ABI?
As a bit of a background story, i will fill you all in as to how DH ended up with an ABI and what his side effects are.
December 8 last yeaar he went to the pub after work for a couple of drinks, spoke to him at 9pm and he told me he was coming home soon. i woke up at midnight and he still wasnt home. long story short, he had been assaulted and was on his way to the PA hospital in Brisbane for brain scans. (for any bub hubbers in the brisbane/ipswich region you may or may not remember this as it was on the news and in a few different newspapers) as a result of the assault he suffered from bilateral contusions (bruising along the front of his brain) and two bleeds on the front right side of his brain. DH spent two and a half weeks in hospital. When he first came out of hospital the smallest things were major issues for him. his hand eye coordination sucked. his hearing and sound perception (not sure if there is such thing) were off. he couldnt even walk down the street alone because a car driving on a street 3 or 4 blocks away could sound like it was about to run him over.
The part of DH's brain that is injured controls his ability to control his emotions, his ability to perceive other peoples emotions, his ability to think of the consequences of his actions, etc.
I havent posted this as a sob story, i'm more just curious as to whether there is anyone else out there going through a similar thingg, and how they deal with it.
Thanks in advance
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29-12-2011 21:02 #1
ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) - anyone have one or have a family member with one??
29-12-2011 21:19 #2
My sister had one... Storey doesn't have a happy ending but there were lots of outside factors to this, and I totally understand about not understanding that maybe the things they are saying could sound weird our upset the people around them. She also forgot who our younger sister was.
I do remember seeing that on the news and big
My mum handled it in a totally unreal way... She got a job in an abi organisation called headway. They have support groups and out of hospital living so patents can learn how to live at home again. She was in one of those houses.
She wanted to know as much as she could about how all different abi's can affect different areas off the brain, and subsequently alter peoples personalities.
Some days it was total chit. Other days it was like it never happened. We just never knew wheat we were going to get in our case. I know I haven't been much help, but I'm here if you ever need anything, just a pm away!
Fighting for control over who's right... Predictive text or me!
29-12-2011 21:25 #3
I don't really have any knowledge in the area, but I just wanted to send you a virtual hug. I read your reply to my thread about my "missing" DP the other day, and my heart is absolutely breaking for you.
Armouring yourself with as much knowledge as possible might make your situation a little easier (in lack of a more appropriate word) to cope with.
I hope you find support from people in here who share your experience.
29-12-2011 21:32 #4
My future BIL has an ABI, along with a few other things from his accident. According to the paramedics the only two things that stopped him from being killed when the two cars hit him was that he was so drunk it wasn't funny and he didn't see the cars coming so he didn't tense.
After 2 weeks in ICU, an additional 3 weeks in hospital and 8 weeks in rehab he is ok. The scar that has the tire tread visible in it freaks me out more than a little though. He tries to make fun of his ABI and that he "now has a piece of paper saying that he is a retard" but I know it hurts him as much as his other injuries do. It is his processing part of the brain that is effected, not his temporal lobe like it sounds like it is with your hubby.
I can't comment on what it will be like when they have kids. He desperately wants them. My sister is too career focused at the moment. She ended up studying her Div 1 in nursing after the accident. Being a Div 2 was no longer enough. It gave her drive that she didn't have before and we are all proud of her. She starts her phd in 2013. Meanwhile he settles for being a fantastic uncle to his biological nephews and his nephews through his future marriage.
Last edited by bellalika; 29-12-2011 at 21:41.
29-12-2011 21:33 #5
FNT thanks so much i wasnt too hopefully that i'd actually get a response, i had never even heard of an ABI until DH ended up with one.
i'm quite curious too as to how injuries to different parts of the brains alter the ABI symptoms.
i should consider myself lucky really, at the end of the day he can still walk, talk and take care of himself. it hasnt always been this easy but he's made a lot of improvements in the past 12 months, i'm quite proud of him i totally get what you're saying about it c hanging from day to day. one minute he might be like you or i, then the next minute he says or does something that's totally irrational. it was really hard at first, we kind of lost contact with a lot of so called friends because they just didnt understand.
the situation did get a little complicated though, immigration actually sent him back to fiji (where he was born) even though he's been living and working here legally for nearly 6 years. they dont have the facilities over there to recognise or take care of people with ABI's, so we're kind of having to wing it for the next 6 months or so until he is able to come back here. i'm going over end of Jan to help out because he's really been suffering without my support
your mum sounds like a total champion! DH was part of a group called steps for people with ABI's, and i spend a lot of time with young carers QLD, so it does help a little to know you arent the only one
while it sucks that we both have family member's with ABIs, as selfish as this is, it's good to know i'm not alone!
29-12-2011 21:35 #6
29-12-2011 21:36 #7
29-12-2011 21:39 #8
how long ago was his accident? i've been told over time that ABIs can go away entirely. it's been 12 months for DH and although the staff at PA say this is only a short time with respect to recovery and that he's got a long way to go, he's already come so far.
i can't even imagine how proud you are of your sister i'm in two minds, after everything DH and i have been hrough, whether i want to help people in a similar situation to mine re ABIs or re Immigration. DH has also had a 4 year battle with immigration which sadly hasnt ended in our favour so the stresses from that have definitely not helped his ABI
29-12-2011 21:41 #9
29-12-2011 21:45 #10
Firstly, I am so sorry to you and your DH, this just isn't fair is it? how life can change so dramatically, in the blink of an eye
Secondly, one of the other mods' DH has an ABI and your thread has been bumped for her attention, so she will most likely be directed to your thread with her story
All the best
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