I've read lots of benefits of having a small age gap between kids, but TTC no. 2 is not going to plan and the gap is getting larger and larger as every month goes by.
So... I'm after some benefits of a larger gap between kids to try and cheer myself up a bit!
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29-12-2011 10:13 #1
Benefits of larger age gap?
29-12-2011 10:25 #2
What kind of gap do you think you'll end up with?
I've had three quite different age gaps; 5 years 3 months between #1 and #2, 3 years 8 months between #2 and #3, and 22 months between #3 and #4.
The relationship between #1 and #2 is just lovely, as is that between #2 and #3. They didn't compete for the same kinds of attention and there were never any jealousy issues.
The only negative I found was most pronounced with the gap between #1 and #2... We had long said goodbye to nappies and sleepless nights and it was a shock to the system to find ourselves there again! Whereas with my 22 month gap it's just like one continuous baby.
My favourite gap has been 3 and a half years
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29-12-2011 10:30 #3
I have roughly 4yrs between mine and think its great. They are old enough to understand what's happening during pregnancy and the early days with constant feeding etc. they all play together nicely and the older boys can watch bub if I need to go to the loo or whatever.
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29-12-2011 15:03 #4
I dont have children yet..but there is a 4 year difference between my younger brother and I. Personally I love it..we have a great relationship. My mum loved it as well because she had those first years with me to bond and we had a great time and she says that I was so excited when my brother was born and I was great with him. Plus I was that little bit older to understand what was going on. She says Id get up early in the morning and help her feed him and bath him and dress him.
My friend had a baby in july and her son is 6 years old. He had a bit of a hard time adjusting to it because hed been the only child for 6 years and now she had to spend more time with the baby then constantly with him. But 6 months on and he has adjusted..he absolutely loves his baby sister and they couldnt be happier. I dont think there is anything wrong with a gap that big as long as the first child still gets attention so they know that theyre not being replaced and that they are still loved.
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29-12-2011 15:09 #5
i have 4yrs between my girls and its great. DD1 does a lot for herself and things she cant do she can wait if needs be.
her and DD2 are getting better at playing together now DD2 is 13mths and more engaging
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29-12-2011 15:24 #6Senior Member
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- Oct 2007
We were in a similar situation. We originally wanted a small age gap of around 18mths- 2yrs. Unfortunately things didn't work out like we planned and we ended up with a almost a 4.5yr gap.
Despite our concerns it has actually been great! The love between my dd and ds is beautiful to watch. Dd is a great helper and she's also understanding when I need to bf ds and she entertains herself or gets herself a drink etc.
Good luck ttc, but know that larger gaps aren't as bad as some people can make them out to be!
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29-12-2011 16:22 #7
I'm bout to have a large gap ds 8 dd 5 and due July! I'm thinken of go get me a drink kids, take the happier to the bin please!! And when baby starts crawling kids go get ur bro or sister please hahaha!!!
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29-12-2011 19:06 #8
Thank for the thread DelGirl and for all your responses everyone, this has been on my mind lately too.
I've been having second thoughts about whether or not to give up TTC as we've been trying for 4 years now and even if we fall pregnant soon there will be an 8 year age gap. I don't know when to stop trying, but my little man is growing up so fast, he doesn't need nappies, pram, cot, high chair, he's even out of his car seat in 4 months. I don't want to keep trying when he's in high school!
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