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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment View Post
    Just quickly, ladies with a DH/DP. His ex-DW comes to you and says they slept together. He denies it. Who do YOU believe?
    I think my reaction would be to ignore her, call her all sorts of names, try to convince myself she's just a crazy psycho ex, etc etc... but I think in the back of my mind, I'd be suspicious and pay extra attention to my partner and his whereabouts/etc. I think outwardly I'd distrust her, internally I'd know there COULD be some truth to it - I'd just not want to believe it.

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    Do you have children together? If so, don't do anything that may cause ill feeling between you and ex.

    I wouldn't say anything. Let them work it out.

  3. #33
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I think my reaction would be to ignore her, call her all sorts of names, try to convince myself she's just a crazy psycho ex, etc etc... but I think in the back of my mind, I'd be suspicious and pay extra attention to my partner and his whereabouts/etc. I think outwardly I'd distrust her, internally I'd know there COULD be some truth to it - I'd just not want to believe it.
    I agree, somewhat. I would immediately think that she was lying and jealous - I guess i'm cynical like that. But some part of me would probably stew over it and wonder if there was any truth to it.

    I'm guessing the exH in question would confirm my feelings by suggesting she's lying out of spite, to save his own butt. And if I trusted him, that would give me more reason to disregard the info.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I think my reaction would be to ignore her, call her all sorts of names, try to convince myself she's just a crazy psycho ex, etc etc... but I think in the back of my mind, I'd be suspicious and pay extra attention to my partner and his whereabouts/etc. I think outwardly I'd distrust her, internally I'd know there COULD be some truth to it - I'd just not want to believe it.
    Yes this is the reaction many people have.
    I will never ever tell anyone again that they where cheated on.
    I did it twice and both times I was the evil one and making up lies etc... Guess what he is still cheating.

    Btw he wasn't cheating with me of course.

    A lot of women will believe their husbands and their husbands will turn it on you.

  5. #35
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    That's what I kind of figured. With ex-DW I had TWO, yes, that's right, count them, TWO women tell me that she was sleeping with their husbands. Numerous things that seemed odd AND a text message I found where her and a guy talking about a rendevous. And I STILL believed her lies.

    Because I wanted to. And you can't tell people who don't want to believe.

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    that sucks GFP

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    GluttonForPunishment  (29-12-2011)

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    You say that you believe she should know/deserves to know. Why? I would be asking myself if my motivation was one of genuine concern given that you have recently slept with her partner. Or do you have another motivation? He hurt you so now you are going to hurt him by telling the woman he loves? She feels that he would never cheat on her so you feel the need to prove her wrong? You genuinely feel guilty for sleeping with him and want to make yourself feel better? I would tap into my need for letting her know and use that as a guide.

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    I don't want to sound harsh.. but you are also in the wrong here. what were you doing sleeping with another woman's partner when you know what it feels like to be cheated on? You knew they were together, so I think it's pretty dog that you went there in the first place. sure, he's obviously scum & going to cheat on her, but you shouldn't have gone there in the first place.
    Don't say anything, let her figure it out for herself. & remove yourself entirely from this situation.

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    Hey ladies, yes my exH and I have a child together. So i can't do anything the would cause harm to our relationship concerning our daughter. ExH and I have no plans to be together it was just a " moment " of passion happened. I guess you ladies are right, I'm caught in the middle, I can't do anything unless I potentially destroy relationships or be the "bad guy" I guess what I could do is keep an eye out and if exH starts cheating on his GF with another women, I might send her the link or proof then. Its just I know what it feels like to be cheated on and so Many people knew my exH was cheating on me... I really did wish someone told me earlier so that's why I'm frustrated. It's such a hard one.

  12. #40
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    Stay out of it. You're already the bad guy because you shagged her boyfriend behind her back.

    If you tell you run the risk of destroying the civil relationship between you and FOB for parenting purposes.

    Yes she deserves to know but for you I think a workable relationship with FIB for the benefit of your child trumps her right to know.


 
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