Yeah I'm not really looking for opposing opinions, just looking to confirm my own (just being honest - lol) unless of course I'm WAY out of line and haven't realized. Lol. If so, be gentle - this could be an over tired pregnant rant as well!
The neighbours daughter who is about 4-5 years keeps coming over and asking to have a play.
I've politely told her no - we are busy, or not now, or something. What do I say (yes I'd like honest feedback for that - I don't know how to openly say 'no and please don't come back' to a 5 year old.)
I'm just not that keen to be a free baby sitter. I'm very aware that she started coming over around the time I mentioned to her mum I'm a childcarer. I'm not friends with her mum - I actually don't like her much. And I've done it before for a 'friend' who heard I was a child carer and must have heard 'I work in child care' to mean 'I will baby sit your kids for free' - so I am really also probably overly wary of a repeat of that situation.
And it would be a bit different if I had a 4-5 year old also but jasper is 3.
But lets say you have a 4-5 year old who've you've sent/let over to the neighbours house several times - as in once or twice a week - without actually going yourself to say 'Hi, would it be okay for my child to play here for a bit?' - but if several times your child has come home without having been allowed to play, at what point do you stop letting your child try to invite themselves over for a play?
I feel really irritated being put in the position where I have to say 'no'.
Or should I go and talk to her mum and say 'please stop sending her over. I'm pregnant and tired and want to enjoy having only one child to worry about as long as possible!'
Also in the back of my mind I think does her mum even know she's here? I can't imagine just letting jasper go to see someone next door to visit without me going with him at preschool age! Unless it was a super close and trusted friend and they were expecting him??
Okay. Tell me I'm not crazy that this isn't me being an unfriendly b!tch not letting the neighbours child come over to play.
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Results 1 to 10 of 38
24-12-2011 19:00 #1
Just checking that I'm in the right....
24-12-2011 19:06 #2
I would talk to the mum.. I don't think that's appropriate at all
24-12-2011 19:27 #3
Your not nuts, I would go over and talk to the mum and tell her what you said
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24-12-2011 19:34 #4
I have a 4-5 year old, aint no way i'd let him just waltz on over to play with neighbours kids, much less so if i haven't even met the parents, that's just crazy. I would firstly ask, 'does your mother know where you are?' and then walk her back to her house and say, just wanted to check if you knew she was coming round to my place for a play? And then if she's aware just say well Jasper is a little too young to play with someone older than him that he doesn't share any interests with, if she comes over again i'll just bring her straight back.
24-12-2011 19:35 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
The mother should be pre-arranging anything like that.
I would say something like "x has popped over a few times. While, it's lovely, I'm so busy and tired right now, and j is a little young. I don't want to hurt x's feelings, but I just can't have her visit by herself right now" in a friendly type way.
24-12-2011 19:43 #6
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24-12-2011 20:11 #7
From personnel experience I take my 2 DDs 6 and 4 myself next door to ask if their DD 6 would like to come to our house for a play.
It is so rude to ask to come for a play or even coffee at someone's house unless you are really good friends or family.
24-12-2011 20:25 #8Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
No I don't think your nuts either!! I think it is so rude on her part. I would be walking her back to her mother and making it quite clear it is not appropriate.
24-12-2011 20:26 #9
24-12-2011 20:42 #10
I definitely dont think you are out of line.
She definitely shouldnt keep coming over if you have already said no and you dont have kids that can play together.
I would definitely be having a word with the mum. I think it would be totally different if she was pre-arranging care or organising a play date, but it is not appropriate for her to just keep rocking up on your door step.
I have a four and five year old and i would not be sending either of them to a neighbours house or anything on their own to ask to play.
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