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  1. #11
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    Aww MM

    Teenages can be such hard work can't they.

    I think you've done the right thing setting good defined boundaries. What are the consequences if she breaks the rules?

    Did you sit down with her (and the 3 of you) and discuss what the rules would be? I don't mean informing her once you've made the decision but including her in the process? And including her in deciding what appropriate punishment would be? She's a bit young but this works well with teenagers. They're more likely to follow the rules if they've taken park in making them.

    You're not going to like this but I'd take the locks off the doors. She can obviously get out anyway and by locking her in your telling her she can't be trusted.

    Sounds like shes hanging arpund 'the wrong crowd'. Do you know the other kids parents? Maybe you all need to have a chat? Does she do any extra curricular activities? Are there any 'nice' kids in your neighbourhood you can incourage her to hang out with? Have you asked her what she does in the middle of the night with these kids? And why she can't do it during the day?


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  2. #12
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    Yep included her in rules. She says takin things like phone etc works better.
    we had to put locks on cos she can't be trusted and she is well aware of that now. We gave her a few chances to not do it but she kept doing it.the only reason we had locks is we have 3 kids under 5 who like to explore. However her mum had nothing and as she is deaf she can't hear at night if sd sneaks out then doesn't know til a couple hours later
    At first we thought it was the bad influence but once i got her phone i saw that she is the one organising it all.she has no answer to why she does it,i think it's the thrill. But it is so dangerous in her area. Only recently there were 8 attempted abductions

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  3. #13
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    The other girls parents are stressed but not badly. There's a girl that they go visit after midnight whose family you know not to mess with. I've tried encouraging a friendship between her and my niece as they're the same age but totally opposite.
    She has totally pulled herself away from the good crowd at school unfortunately
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  4. #14
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    Birdistheword is offline Frightened little child, bird is the word!
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    This sound exactly like my cousin. She would leave her parents house to see boyfriends that were 24 (she was 13) she would take drugs get drunk and then walk home. Finally my uncle locked her out and called the cops and docs telling them that one of the friends mothers had drugs on her. So her place was deemed unsafe, docs then turned up at my mothers place, where she got fed had a bed and it all seemed fine until my uncle said to my father that *J* wrote on her Facebook about sneaking out.
    She didn't lock doors and my parents had a 5 year old. How stupid was she? Mum and dad rang docs told them to pick her up immediately and she is now living in a childrens housing unit over 1000km away.
    Maybe completely removing her from your whole situation and the 'friends' that she is with.
    I really just wanted to sympathise and give you

  5. #15
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    Oh wow. I don't know what to say here either except to commend you for not giving up on her. It must be so incredibly hard to deal with, and honestly i don't know what i would do in your situation but i think you have done well by working as a team with all the responsible adults involved


    Only thing i would suggest and i'm not sure if it's too late or not but try getting her involved in sport, dancing, art something she is interested in that could divert her attention that gives her achievable goals - something that she can feel proud of herself for and get positive attention for that isn't destructive.

    It's infuriating how stupid teenagers can be but thats their nature they tend not to see beyond the moment or the fact that they are not invincible.

  6. #16
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    She does about 3 different sports in school terms. Next year dh is keen for her to start tennis also. Hopefully she will focus her energy on the sports when they resume

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    Quote Originally Posted by Birdistheword View Post
    This sound exactly like my cousin. She would leave her parents house to see boyfriends that were 24 (she was 13) she would take drugs get drunk and then walk home. Finally my uncle locked her out and called the cops and docs telling them that one of the friends mothers had drugs on her. So her place was deemed unsafe, docs then turned up at my mothers place, where she got fed had a bed and it all seemed fine until my uncle said to my father that *J* wrote on her Facebook about sneaking out.
    She didn't lock doors and my parents had a 5 year old. How stupid was she? Mum and dad rang docs told them to pick her up immediately and she is now living in a childrens housing unit over 1000km away.
    Maybe completely removing her from your whole situation and the 'friends' that she is with.
    I really just wanted to sympathise and give you
    Wow. What is she like now?we considered boarding school

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    This may not help but the only advice I can offer is thus:
    I was a terrible, horrible, ungrateful teenager and nothing would get through to me.
    My parents, at their wits end, put me into boarding school for two years (it was threatened but I never thought they would follow through)
    I was away from all of my bad influential friends and wasn't allowed to go out. I saw my family every second weekend.
    I hated every minute but also made some of the best friends ever.
    It straightened me out well and truly.
    Maybe you should all sit down and discuss this option and see what she does???
    Good luck

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  10. #19
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    I would put her into boarding school for both her own good and your marriage. Doesn't have to be for more than a year but maybe they can get through to her.

    Good luck.

  11. #20
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    I went to boarding school too! I hated it also but it was sort of fun in ways too. I hadn't thought of that good idea Braxtonsmummy


 

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