Df makes very little effort

[shelle65]

If he WANTS to work that much then I would say he sounds like a workaholic. It is a serious problem for some people and they require professional help otherwise like any other addiction (gambling, alcohol etc) they end up losing their families.

The hardest part is making him see he has a problem and getting him to agree to get professional help. Perhaps you could look up some support organisations and seek some advice. All the best

[jfblady72]

gee u have 3 kids and pg and he works 3 jobs, u must both be physically and emotionally exhautsed and i can feel that you are struggling from lack of emotional support and connectedness with your DF.

sure finacial security may be important to your DF but at what cost? do you think he is aware of how unhappy you really are the moment? i recently had to have a lot of heated and in depth communication with my DH about finances and parenting and being "there" and things have improved but its an ongoing thing ie being honest about how you feel and not letting things slide when u are unahppy...... i agree with some of the pp re what are the real issues as why he wants to work so much?? i mean seriously WHO wants to work that many hours???? and where is the compromise here? you have asked him about quitting ONE job but he refuses.....i think thats unfair. do YOU want your new baby to go to a private school? would you like to pull your DS out of private school? you have a say too.........the amount of couples i know who have spilt up due to financial reasons and wanting to send kids to private school (when they actually cant afford to do so AND have a decent life as well) is amazing and really sad....

it often doesnt take much to make things better in a relationship but both partners need to be 'available' and what im hearing is that your DF is MIA in your opinion..he's just not there.

[designertaste]

I'm sorry your going through this... But if you think you feel your being a single mum now... Try actually being a single mum! I'm not trying to be offensive but it is offensive to single mums out there.
You know, your aware of what you have to do. Go back to basics, make a list of pros and cons so you get your head straight. I say this because guys work better on facts and anything logical. Emotions don't seep into the skin so much. You have to have tough skin and relay it out to him. If money is not the issue, he's working for another reason. So get to the facts, be smart, put your emotions aside and put your feet down. Don't let him walk over you as if your happiness means nothing. Losing him is harder than working through it all yourself. I wish you luck!