DD is 4.5mo and is having longer awake time now - up to 2 hours at a time. I feel compelled to give her my undivided attention during this time by playing on the floor, taking her out somewhere, talking to her in her highchair while I'm cooking or whatever in the kitchen.
Anyway, my question is - is it ok to let her just hang out without constantly giving her all my attention? Days like today she just doesnt want to be in bed. She's had a couple of short naps but is then awake and smiling and wanting to be up. So at the moment she's kicking about on the bed next to me while I'm on my laptop. She recently found her feet so she's been staring at them a fair bit! Is this bad? Should I be playing with her whenever she's awake? I feel guilty that she might feel neglected or something... I've slowly been gaining my confidence as a mum (very rocky first 3 months, unwell bub and PND) but this everyday stuff sometimes gets in a bit of an anxiety-producing loop in my head.
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20-12-2011 14:52 #1
4mo Awake Time Question - Is this ok?
20-12-2011 17:18 #2Still Eli's mum :)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
I used to feel the exact same way! But I've found that they usually don't mind having some 'me' time and are happy to entertain themselves with you close by You'll also find that as she is getting older, she'll be more and more interested in toys, feet!, pets, etc and not need you to entertain her all the time
You're doing a fab job! Your confidence will continue to grow as she does
Last edited by MilkiCuddles; 20-12-2011 at 17:32.
20-12-2011 17:27 #3
Hi Cue, I'm a first time mum with a 3 month old who spends most of the day awake (but luckily sleeps through the night). I also worried that I needed to provide constant entertainment for him which became quite draining but I have found he's totally happy entertaining himself with his hands or watching the world go by..... So when he's happy to do this I just pop him in his playpen while I have some time for me or to do some housework. I think of it as a time for self discovery for him! Wishing you all the best and it sounds like you have a super happy baby
20-12-2011 17:37 #4
I have worried about this from when DS was a very little baby too. It's fine to let them have some "independent play" everyday - as long as they are supervised. Just balance it out with some quality one-on-one time also and when they get older a bit of time of bub "helping" you do your stuff, eg. housework. It's good for them to get used to entertaining themselves and enjoying their own company and you sound very caring and I'm sure are not neglectful in any way!
20-12-2011 17:41 #5
Totally good for them to have play time on their own! That's when they practice all their skills and learn new ones A bit of down time for them to explore their own abilities without having anyone in their face is quite important and really fun for them too. As long as you keep them where they can see you, all is good. My almost 4mo DD spends a lot of her awake time on the floor, and DS6 and I alternate playing with her and letting her do her own thing. She is always sure to let us know when she's had enough!
20-12-2011 17:50 #6-
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Its quite healthy to let them play by themselves every now and then. It helps them build up their selfconfidence and independence.
I had this playmat that DS adored. When I had to do something by myself ie writing an email or just having a quick shower, I would put him on that mat and he would be entertained for 15 minutes straight. Just enough for me to have a shower.
Ofcourse I would leave the bathroom door open so he was in full view lol
20-12-2011 19:20 #7
No! It's good for their imagination, especially since she seems to be wuite happy about it Also gives you a bit of a break and hopefully makes her a bit less clingy later on.
20-12-2011 19:47 #8
Thanks everyone! She does like to practice rolling - she figured out rolling back to front a couple of weeks ago but it takes a few tries, so she keeps at it until it gets frustrating. I guess it probably is good to give her that time to practice new moves! She seems happy enough while she can still see me.
I'll try to relax about it and let her play by herself a bit. She certainly lets me know when she's had enough and needs some mummy time.
20-12-2011 20:22 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
Ive always been a bit of a routine person myself so when my DD came into the world my biggest thing was that she came into 'our' world and will become a part of 'our' family unit and the way we 'go from day to day'.....in a sense.
Of course, i also felt like i needed to spend all my time with DD at such a young age but at the same time, i had to get the dishes done, dinner sorted, clothes be washed and when she slept, there were days when i wanted to sleep as well. So, our routine was to do all the usual 'Eat, play, sleep' cycles throughout the day and during the times she was awake, id spend half an hour or so reading, playing, interacting with her then id leave her under her little play gym/mat thingy (within my constant view) and put some toys slightly out of reach so that if she spotted them, she could practice reaching for them, etc. It literally kept her busy for ages and she was happy to have play time on her own. Dont be so worried that your neglecting your little one. Sometimes when you leave bubs to play on his own, thats when they discover that they can roll over. And when you walk in the room you praise them so much that you see the first real big smile. Dont be too hard on yourself. Your doing a great job and sound like a very caring mother. Lots of praise, smiles, cuddles, kisses, etc will certainly make up for when you had to sneak away and wash those dishes.
20-12-2011 20:49 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
I think all mums have that doubt. My solution was to put bub in the Ergo while I did things around the house. It means they don't become reliant on being entertained but they get plenty of stimulation at your level. It's also brilliant for their core strength and balance. It's always amazed me how this wave of contentment would wash over DD when I'd put her in the Ergo. She'd be perfectly happy on the floor but in total bliss when I wore her and so engaged with the world. Your DD will crawl in no time and then be off exploring while you get things done
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