I think there's plenty of evidence to suggest that leaving a baby that young to cry can do harm. Here are a few links
Did you know that a person's lifelong response to stress is largely set by the time they are 6 months old. If they are consistently soothed when stressed as an infant they have a greater capacity to deal well with stress for life. The books "The Science of Parenting" and "Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a child's brain" have a good overview of what is known about the science of brain development and uncomforted crying. I know it can be tough but they're only little for such a short time. Enjoy those snuggles and definitely invest in a sling or carrier
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19-12-2011 12:38 #11Senior Member
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- Jul 2011
19-12-2011 13:28 #12
Don't let others make you think your baby needs to learn to sleep by themselves at such a young age. They will learn in good time. Comfort your baby as much as they need and you will get to know your baby better and learn what their cries mean. You do not need to think about routines or teaching your baby anything for a few months at least, maybe never. Most babies will teach you what they need. Good luck, it is a tough time when your baby is very demanding of your attention. Also if you are breast feeding, when the baby cries, feed them! Enjoy all the cuddles and bonding with your baby.
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19-12-2011 13:39 #13Guest Guest
You're teaching your baby confidence and security by being close to them and responding to their needs, that's all they need to learn right now.
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19-12-2011 13:45 #14
19-12-2011 13:45 #15
Such a small baby doesn't need to be ignored and left to cry IMO. I wouldn't be just leaving them be and hoping they'll stop.
Cuddling, rocking, singing, etc... I'd do all of that. Have you tried bringing your baby into your bed with you? I found that a very easy thing to do.
I also believe that such young babies cry for a reason... they cannot say, "Mum, I'm hungry/tired/lonely/sore/hot/etc," so they cry. It's how they communicate that they need assistance... I think the reason we have such a strong reaction to their cries is because we're supposed to - our instincts are telling us that our baby needs us...
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19-12-2011 13:58 #16
Yeah I'm with the above. 7 weeks is too young and 15 minutes even for an older baby is too long.
At 8 weeks I started to put jasper down for the time it took me to load the washing machine & turn it of. So <2 minutes. If he stopped crying, perfect, if he was still crying I'd get him up, and rock him to sleep. Then next nap I'd put him down and put the washing from the washer to the dryer - same again, less than 2 minutes. So best case scenario he'd self settle with minimal distress (as rocking him could take 30 minutes, he'd get over tired & scream for an hour, so 2 minutes crying was a lot less stressful on both of us if it worked!) worst case scenario he'd only cry for 2 minutes, I'd rock him to sleep and my laundry got done.
(laundry can be alternated with 2 minutes of vacuuming or dishes )
That was just how I did it.
But if your heart is screaming 'this is not right' there's a very good reason for that. Trust your heart. Not 'sleep experts' or 'medical professionals'. Your heart knows what's harmful to your baby, so if it feels wrong it probably is.
But newborns are seriously hard work! I'm sorry there's no easy answer!
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19-12-2011 15:15 #17
Like everyone has said, 7 weeks is way too young. I don't even let my 2yo cry for that long!
Babies cry because they need us. By leaving them, all we teach them is that no one cares about their needs.
Enjoy the cuddles while you can, and trust your instincts.
19-12-2011 15:21 #18Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Thanks very much everyone. I tried the method ( I meant leave him cry) for a morning, really can't stand anymore, he s very stressful and even sobbing in the dream, cried as soon as he feels that I m going to put him back on the bassinet!!! I gave up this arvo, n rock him as usual to sleep! He smiled in my arm my heart melt!!! Too many techniques and too many books around us but we r mums can't be rock hearted n really have to follow our instincts
19-12-2011 15:48 #19
One of my biggest stresses as a new mum was settling. My ds wouldn't settle easily, but I was terrified that if I rocked/patted/whatever him to sleep I would harm him forever & he'd never self settle. Stupid advice from 'helpful' books & other random people. I ended up helping him settle by whatever means worked - rocking/patting/singing/etc. He has slept through from 15 months of age for 12+ hours a night and still does at nearly 5 years old. He's such a great sleeper as a child.
So, I agree with what the others have said - do whatever it takes to get bubs to sleep but stay close and don't let bubs cry for prolonged periods. It isn't harmful to cuddle bubs to sleep but it can definitely be harmful to leave bubs to cry.
Are you aware of tired signs? If not, google 'baby tired signs' and look for them, then as soon as you notice a tired sign it's time for bubs to go to sleep. Put bubs in the bassinet awake, but tired and see what happens. If bubs cries, then it's time for cuddling/rocking/patting, but you might see bubs self-settle. I find that my dd self-settles more readily in the mornings and virtually never in the late afternoon/evening.
Is bubs wrapped/swaddled? This will also make getting bubs to sleep more readily. I love the Woombie - it's a zip up swaddle and lots of mums recommend the Love Me Up wrap too.
All the best & enjoy your bub.
By babyw in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 2Last Post: 07-08-2012, 06:30
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