I lost my two older sisters, one before I was born and one 20yrs ago when I was 15. DD's first name is a combination of their first names. She has my first sister middle name too as our surname meant using my second sisters middle name didn't work. I didn't ask my parents but knew they would be thrilled and they were. I didn't want to use their full names as it was to much of a reminder but found a happy medium.
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18-12-2011 18:35 #11
Last edited by ICanDream; 18-12-2011 at 19:13.
18-12-2011 18:44 #12
I know 100% that I have to talk to her. I could never do it without her blessing before hand. DP said it's just a name, just use it. He has never lost a family member at all so he doesn't understand. Also his family is not as close as mine. (or at all really)
I guess I just wanted to get a feel for how people would feel about it so I don't go into it scared or I can decide whether I really want to put it on her or just choose a different name.
Also, she was unable to have a baby of her own. Her and her DH have adopted 2 beautiful children. As I said their sons middle name is her late brothers name. I don't want to be dumb, but would this make a difference to you?
Brain, brain, gone away, will come back another day.
Last edited by Turk EnJayDee; 18-12-2011 at 18:48.
18-12-2011 19:46 #13
My grandfather (who was like my father) passed away during my pregnancy with my ds, everyone wanted me to use his name for my son but inside i felt like that was trying to replace him or put expectations to be like him. So we gave my son his own unique first name and my grandfathers' first & middle names as my sons middle name.
I felt that we honoured his memory, gave my son a piece of a beautiful & special person but also gave my son his own identity.
29-12-2011 17:15 #14Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
I lost my only sibling when I was 15 and he was 18. I have gone back and forth on the idea of using his name as either a first or middle name if I have a son. If someone used his name with out asking me or my parents I would be really annoyed. I don't know what I'd say, I'd prob think it's a good idea because it keeps his memory alive etc. Your doing the right thing in asking first though.
Thank you to the person that said
"I can't say for sure how I'd feel... But I do think in a way if I lost my brother & a family member named their child after my brother - or worse still I lost my son - I would prefer their name stayed 'their name'. So like I could talk about Daniel (my brother) without having to clarify 'which Daniel'."
I think that's a good point and why maybe your cousin chose to use it as a middle name for her son. That will also be why I use my brothers name as a middle not first name.
I guess everyone's different and as long as you ask your cousin and she's happy with it then all's good.
29-12-2011 17:21 #15
I would see my cousin doing this and it wouldn't bother me. I intend to use my brothers first names as middle names anyway.
My mothers cousin died in February 1994 she had a hyphenated name that was unusual. later that year my uncle who was close to their cousin named his 3rd daughter after the cousin, giving her the same spelling and complete hyphenation. He didn't ask my auntys permission and no one found it unusual
29-12-2011 17:42 #16
I'd just ask her and her parents to see how they feel. I think it's a beautiful idea though.
I know after my SIL's little sister died she was really angry that a cousin named her baby after her. The baby was born about a week later, but SIL has two daughters who were VERY close to their aunt and she thought by rights that they should get first pick on the name.
29-12-2011 17:53 #17
I, personally, would be pretty annoyed.
It's my sibling so I kinda have ownership if that makes sense? and I'm too nice to say no.
I was cranky at the thought of DP's sisters using their dads name for a baby boy as it should be DP's (wasn't their idea, was their grandmas, after I said we will name the baby after x)
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