my DD has always been a wakeful kid. I put her to bed at 7.30 every night but unless she's sick or having a growth spurt she's awake til 9-10. No matter how early she woke up.
As she's gotten older its gotten easier because I can now put her to bed and tell her she must stay there, and she will. She's allowed to listen to music or read books if she can't sleep.
DS is easier to get to sleep but wakes 5-6 times a night still.
So not a lot of advice from me, just oodles of sympathy. Best thing for my daughter was books on cd and a little stereo by her bed, especially once she was old enough to teach her how to use it.
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17-12-2011 21:12 #11
17-12-2011 21:14 #12Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
I know how you feel when you just want them to sleep and they have other ideas. Its hard to wake them, but if you think its what they need to get into a routine I don't see the harm as long as they are getting the sleep they need somewhere along the lines.
17-12-2011 22:14 #13
Thank you so so much everyone , I didn't think Id get any replies and just reading everyone's has made me teary, I'm very grateful . I know there's so many sleep threads I'm really just lost and feel very out of control of these two come night time . I just got them to bed at 10 . Come an hour or two they'll both be up like yo-yo's. These late bedtimes are taking a toll on me not to mention mine and DH's relationship .
I'm on Phone and can't quote but I'll try to cover a few things mentioned or asked . I have tried to be very consistent with the things I try . Nothing makes a difference to a absolutely positively un-tired child ! DS is so active he just tries to rip out book pages , not sit and listen so books aren't part of our routine yet . He Will sit quietly and watch a DVD but it doesn't make him tired ! Alternatively, no tv at all hasn't made a difference ( I was worried he was over stimulated ) . Obviously DD is too young to implement book / DVD as bedtime rituals .
If I think back , this definitely begun when DS started co- sleeping therefore he actually stopped waking at 5 or 6 and started sleeping a little longer . Now wake time is around 7:30-8. Therefore, late wake up = later bedtime and before I knew it , its crept up and it's out of control and bedtime is 9:30 - 10 :-( .
Keeping a journal is a good idea . It may give me a better understanding and see a pattern . I will also check out the book a PP suggested . I'm reluctant to normally read books as I won't force them to go to bed and I assume they'll just say be strict firm etc etc . I'm happy to cuddle them , rock them etc , whatever it takes , I just want that all happening earlier !!
Thank you for no one suggesting I just put DS in he's room to cry or force him to stay in he's cot. As
I said in my OP., he's just a baby really , and still isn't talking let alone me being able to explain it's bed time , you have to stay in bed . I look forward to when he's older and I can say it's bedtime , your allowed to quietly read a book etc but must stay in bed . I don't believe in trying to force kids to sleep when they just aren't tired, I'm happy to negotiate about these things but at the moment my kids are too young for that .
I've been trying to ride this out for a good five months now telling myself to just accept it , as waking them really didn't sit right with me but something's got to give it's become too much for me . I feel very selfish saying that but it has .
I think I've got to give this way a good try for a couple of weeks and see if there's a change . The thought of waking them makes me tired just thinking of it lol but I can't have it both ways . I'm sleep deprived anyway , what's the difference.
Can anyone suggest a time I should wake the kids ?
Thank you again each and every one of you so much . Xoxo
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DS -21 months
DD - 7 months
17-12-2011 22:26 #14-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I don't know if this helps as my DD1 & DD2 are a bit older (3 & 4), but they wake up early - between 5am and 6am. We have dodgy blinds, so the sunlight and the birds wake them up.
I really don't like the early mornings and walk around like a zombie for the first hour in the morning...but by 4-4:30pm they are ready for dinner, and by 6pm they are tired, and ready for bed. They rarely have naps now, but if they do, I wake them after an hour or so.
(DD3 is on baby routine at the moment, so her sleep is all over the place!)
It was a HUGE battle with my first 2 though, so I know exactly how you feel. Baths/bedtime stories etc seemed to hype them up, my DP and I had no time to ourselves and I was about to book into sleep school because it seemed like there was no end in sight.
Eventually we ended up agreeing on a set bedtime for them, and laying down next to them, in silence, until they fell asleep (I'd always doze off before they did). Then we started saying goodnight and leaving the room, with the door open and eventually it worked and they would stay in bed until they fell asleep.
We got there in the end, but it was a (very long) case of trial and error as a lot of the suggestions from the baby books just didn't work for our kids and we didn't want to do controlled crying/locking them in their room etc either.
So maybe try waking them early, and see how you go?
Also, as mummykitty suggested, taking them on massive walks, or letting them run at the park may also help. This helped heaps with my 4yo.
Depending on where you are, 'sleep school' may also be an option if waking them early doesn't work and you are completely exhausted. I know a few people who've spent time there and have found it great. Tresillian has programs for parents with kids up to 5.
Goodluck - I hope it gets better soon
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17-12-2011 22:32 #15
Oh you are absolutely not selfish, so scrap that thought right away. You sound like an immesely caring mum.
I find 6.30 a good wake up time.
17-12-2011 22:39 #16
Wow, I could have written this! DS 20 months just went down at 1030, after three attempts at getting him down. He is sleeping until 830 most mornings so I have decided I will wake him at 7 every morning and get him into bed by 8 at night. I'm only going to let him nap for an hour and not past 2 as if he is not REALLY tired he just won't sleep.
He likes to hold my hand as he goes off to sleep but lately it's been upwards of 45 mins before he drops off, and with a 10 week old and a hubby who fruquently works past midnight it's a nightmare, feeling your pain! I too, will not, can not, leave him to cry himself off to sleep
Would be great to have them both in bed sleeping earlier so I can do the dishes then spend 30 minutes for myself, instead of getting to bed at midnight myself every night!
I'll keep you posted how it goes
17-12-2011 23:14 #17
Another little night owl over here!! I know how you feel! (just got mine to sleep at 10.30pm) It's awful not having any "me" time and struggling with a baby who fights sleep. Mine has been like that since day 1! And no matter how hard I try, if he is not ready then he will not sleep. I too could NEVER let him cry, for me it's a trust issue. I love my little man more than anything but boy it's hard when all you want is a decent nights sleep. I know I'm not any help, but I just wanted to say you're not alone! And you're doing a great job - hang in there, this too shall pass!!
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17-12-2011 23:30 #18
I also need to sit on the couch with DS and cuddle him while he lies across me and that now takes over an hour , which is very hard with DD also needing to be walked around the house while rocked . Luckily DH is here to help most times and when he isn't it's very crazy and hard . Like you I just will not leave them to cry , it's absolutely just not an option.
You poor thing , with your DH working past midnight sometimes you have it very hard with the two, I really do understand . It's such a juggling act . And I know that feeling of literally wanting 30 minutes to yourself at night, by the time I then get the night bottles ready ( they both still have bottles at night ) and pack up all the toys so I dont kill myself tripping over them in the middle of the night I literally collapse in bed for an hour or so until night shift begins!
Sparkly dreamer - thank you , I do feel selfish , but thanks for your kind words .
KJ2010- it really is trial and error . Thanks for your advice and as for your sleep school suggestion thanks also but I wouldn't go down that path , I'm happy to try a few things at home and if I have no luck I'll just suck it up and ride it out . Both kids are terrible sleepers , but I find it easier to just go with the wake ups all night . I'll give my kids hours if need be of cuddles or lying with them to help get them off to sleep , just not so late in the night please kids ! Thanks again though , glad to see you've got a system that works for you now :-) xo
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DS -21 months
DD - 7 months
17-12-2011 23:36 #19
Oh thank you MM and proud mum , I just seen your posts .
Thank you everyone for the support and taking the time to post .
Proud mum I feel you , me time would be so nice !
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DS -21 months
DD - 7 months
17-12-2011 23:47 #20
haven't read the whole thread but yes, in particular dd1, if she sleeps past 7am she won't go to sleep before 8.30pm. i try to get her up on time but lately i push my own bedtime to the max so i struggle in the mornings. but definielty when i am on top of things i wake her by 7
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