So other threads have me thinking, how do you intend to address pron when your children become teenagers? Do you intend to adress it at all? And if not too personal, how were you as a teen re pron?
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14-12-2011 06:35 #1
Teenagers and pron
14-12-2011 06:50 #2
Please don't wait until they are teenagers. I feel it needs to be address in age appropriate way earlier that because our kids are being exposed before they are teenagers.
I know that my kids have been exposed at school around gr5 give or take a year or two. Actually now I think about the first contact for 2 of mine was in gr 1.
I talk to my kids all the time about s3x and they related issues. It a constant talk in our house not just one "sex talk".
We talked about some acts that they may see in pron not being real or right. We talk about how we treat our partners. We generally just have a open discussion where nothing is off limits.
I think I have done ok so far. Next year dd is off to uni to study Anthropology and gender studies, where she will studying a lot about how pron affect women. It is actually something see has been interested in and has been doing a lot research about for a while now.
14-12-2011 06:53 #3
I've always planned to keep open about sex and cover it in age appropriate ways whenever they start asking this is how my parents did it with me. Im just curious as to others tactics when approaching the issue as I'm not sure, I was never really exposed to it till with friends at uni and no real interest in looking it up but I know my brothers have. I'm a bit at a loss as to how to adequately cover the topic when I had so little experience myself
14-12-2011 07:11 #4
I was the same, very little experience. I just use what opportunity that present itself. For example yesterday at the dr they had cervical cancer poster up. My ASD dd asked what the cervix was. Much dh (ver shy about everything sex related) horror I went on in my normal voice to explain exactly what is and what job it has and why it is important to have check and how they check it. I answer every question she had. I make sure I never make them feel like we talking about anything dirty so that we will feel the can ask me anything. Now most of convo seem to happen in the car on the way home from school. I must admit I have been caught of guard with a qu about pron a few times, due my lack of experience. Those time's I said I didn't know but I would find out and get back to them and always made sure I did so promptly. Most of the time a new name for a old act or something that was . I went back with exactly what is was and why I felt about the act and why. Allowing a discussion where they got to say what they thought about.
This how I deal with anyhow.
14-12-2011 08:05 #5
I think loving6 has the right idea. Open communication about s.ex is where to start.
But you also have to think about the individual child in how to respond (I'm sure loving6 would be able to tell you that!)
My DD is the intellectual type, she responds to critical thinking and academic work. Lucky for me, I have done several gender studies units, plus anthropology and cultural studies, so that is going to be the avenue I take.
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14-12-2011 08:10 #6Senior Member
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- Oct 2011
First of all teen is too late! I know that my daughter had a friend over when she was 10 and the friend was looking up sex stuff on the net and they came across p0rn.
I have told my daughter that it's not real (she is nearly 13 now) it's not what sex is about, and that unfortunately a lot of boys are learning about sex from this.
14-12-2011 08:14 #7
I wish my parents had spoken to me... Perhaps maybe I wouldn't have watched it nightly for years on from 11 years of age...
14-12-2011 09:30 #8
The scary thing is so many kids do learn about s3x from pron.
Girls learn that they are abnormal if they don't do/like every thing they see.
Boys learn this what you meant to do to be a man.
14-12-2011 09:35 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
I am trying to teach my kids critical thinking - so when we see something like an ad for anything - I discuss with my kids if they think that there needed to be a skimply dressed woman etc etc. This will lead onto p0rn eventually.
I also try to teach self respect and general respect
Luckily I have MOTH's full support and I know that DS will not find a girly mag in the garage or anywhere around our house.
14-12-2011 09:46 #10
DH and I were discussing this last night. DH was saying that he (like most of his friends and other boys he knew) was watching pron from around the age of 11. He said that it shaped his ideas about sex quite a lot and I believe this is the case for most kids watching it....if they haven't done it before then of course they're going to form expectations and ideas from watching pron. It's a no brainer.
We plan on being open about s3x with our son - and we plan on educating him to the dangers and horrors of pron. Just the same way we plan on educating him to the dangers and horrors of drugs. I do not want my son being someone who supports the pron industry and will do everything I possibly can so that he sees it for what it is - trash.
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