Gee that was harsh on his part! I would be making a point of how hard things are for you this christmas, or make out they are harder than they actually are. Hopefully venting makes you feel a little better about it all. what a slap in the face though.
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13-12-2011 10:37 #11
13-12-2011 10:47 #12Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
- central coast
that is so rude of him
i would say to him how you's dont think you will be able to afford to go on hoilday now cause you lent him money so he didnt lose his house and now his wasting money that he could be paying back to everyone
13-12-2011 10:47 #13
I would be super p*ssed but just to go against the grain and shine a different light on things, I do also on the other hand think that if you offer to help someone, regardless of their circumstances, it is because you are helping them right then and there and there are no conditions and whatever happens once you have passed over the help (in this case money), isn't of any concern to you or the help you offered.
I do still totally see WHY you're p*ssed and I probably would be too but unless there was conditions with the money and help you guys made then if he has somehow managed to go over board with this christmas shopping for his kids then thats his business.
Perhaps he had some stuff on layby, or had money put aside for the kids....Perhaps he just won big on a scratchie.....who knows......
Anyway, just a different perspective
Last edited by FloatingFairy; 13-12-2011 at 10:50.
13-12-2011 11:06 #14
I would be furious. To be that bad where family are using their holiday savings to pay your bills and mortgage, so far behind you are ready to lose it, then a few weeks later spend a grand on one child for xmas? totally and utterly selfish imo. I can't understand how in the space of a few weeks their financial situation changes from being ready to have their house taken to suddenly all this money? Did you pay their bills directly or give them cash?
Now I understand they don't want to have their kids go without for xmas, but surely the kids (who sound like teens) can understand it will be a quiet year for pressies this year and they would only get something small.
I wouldn't be giving them money again. It would seem they are more than happy to take your money to bail them then they go and make frivolous purchases.
13-12-2011 11:06 #15
I am all for helping the people I love in times of crisis, and I agree with Shannonigans, but I would still be thinking about sitting this uncle down and having a serious conversation about the knowledge you have, even if it is just to work out a repayment schedule for the funds he borrowed (?).
If he is just spending big on credit to cover the money troubles he is going through, maybe such a conversation will be an eye opener for him, or at least might make him think twice the next time he looks his family members in the eyes knowing that they know...
13-12-2011 11:29 #16
I'd be really wondering where he got that money from. That's a lot of money to be splashing around.
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13-12-2011 11:37 #17
How mean. I would actually contact him and ask wtf? i lent my broke, no-hoper uncle $50 once and he said he would pay back asap and never did, yet he still bought smokes/etc i was really mad and when i did ask for it straight out BANG there it is in his wallet.
He just thought that because we were better off and didnt miss the money it would be fine. But its not, i shouldnt be supporting a loser who cant help himself when he's had 30 yrs to sort his shilt out.
Can you tell i am still just a tad bitter? lol
13-12-2011 11:52 #18-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
I can't believe his daughter, your cousin, flashing all her goodies and what not. Bragging much? Who does that
Anyway, prime example of why I will very, very rarely help family out financially, and if I do I'd pay the bill myself, directly, instead of handing out cash. Especially if it will mean that my family have to be tight because of that. If people get themselves in a bad financial position, well, sorry, but its up to them to get themselves out. How else are they meant to learn if Mummy, Daddy, aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, brother, daughter, son, grandparents etc pitch in?
Clearly your uncle learnt nothing from the help you gave him. Take this as a lesson learnt.
Last edited by Guest1234; 13-12-2011 at 11:55.
13-12-2011 12:05 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
It's now probably evident why he got into financial trouble, and why it may happen again.
Have you agreed on a repayment plan, and got evidence that it was a loan not a gift?
If it's for a reasonable amount, then ask him to give you a second mortgage on his house. At least that's some security, if you are hoping to get it back. Or at least if he goes under, you'll get paid instead of another creditor.
13-12-2011 12:11 #20
Lets just hope he has secretly won lotto and is going to repay you double what you gave him as a surprise at christmas but seriously that is very rude of him to do that too you after the kindness you have shown him.
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