Im pretty sure that all of us have felt like a failure as a mummy at some point in time. Im also pretty sure that none of us are failures at all!! We do our best for our little ones and that is all anyone can ever ask. Being a mummy is SO hard, especially when there is no thanks for it... YET! As the above poster said, pretty soon your baby is gonna look at you like your her entire universe and when you're being smothered in gooey slobbery kisses you'll know that you're the best mummy that this little girl could ever hope for!!
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11-12-2011 09:51 #21
11-12-2011 12:06 #22
I feel like that most of the time. I feel like I don't know what she wants at times and how to give it to her. And that if I was a better mum, I would be able to.
Etienne - FWIW I think you are doing an awesome job. I've been reading your breastfeeding journey and you have been through so much but you persevere to feed your DD- it's incredibly admirable and inspirational.
11-12-2011 12:40 #23
Just PMed you. Big hugs. You are not alone!
11-12-2011 18:59 #24
Thank you everyone. It means a lot x
11-12-2011 19:51 #25
I feel like this often. I worry that my kids think I'm the fun police - I'm not creative and I struggle to be imaginative with them. I'm with them so much that I feel like all I do is discipline them, we never have fun. DH comes home and they go screaming down the hall to them, if I go out and come home it's like "oh yeah Mum's home". DD is extremely clingy to me which also makes me feel crap as people have told me it's because I breastfed her too long (only till 11 mths) or that I go to her too quick or that I pander to her - it's always about me and what I must have done to make her be like that.
DS doesn't play well on his own (he is slowly improving thank heavens) but again it was because I was always too close to him (as in we were both in the loungeroom rather than him being in his bedroom playing) or that I spend too much time with him.
You know what though, they do love you and always will. They do notice the difference in parents and as they get older will play on it but I have no doubt you are and will continue to be a great mother and parents to your DD.
Parenting is the biggest roller coaster I have ever been on, it can take you to the highest of highs but it can also bring you crashing down and take you to such a low point that you could never believe you could. It doesn't make you crap, it makes you human and shows how much you really do care and want to give to your kids.
11-12-2011 20:47 #26
YES I feel like this alot lately. Because my 2 year old is testing and I thought I was patient but realise now I am not.
In any event, just know that you are a wonderful mummy who cares so much about her LO that she will endure anything to give her the best start in life. Who wants nothing but perfection for her. No-one else on this planet loves her like you do. You are doing an amazing job, hang in there it will get easier (until she turns 2 and completely turns on you )
11-12-2011 21:58 #27
I think every mother in some way at some stage feels inadequate. We love our children to pieces and its only natural we want whats best for them. We know our faults and know we arent perfect and what we want for our kids is perfection because we love them so so much.
Think of it from your DD point of view. You are her world. Her everything. She cries, you pick her up and cuddle her. When she's hungry,you feed her. You talk to her, smile and giggle with her. You take care of her every whim. Imagine if we had someone who would do all these things for us? Wouldnt we love them like crazy! You are her Mumma, and she is yours. She will love you unconditionally and never hold a grudge against you. You are prefect in her eyes and thats all that matters
Last edited by My Beloved Ones; 11-12-2011 at 22:01.
12-12-2011 23:11 #28
I've been thinking about you, Etienne. How is everything at the moment? I am particularly interested in your mental health; have you spoken to your DP and others IRL about how you are feeling? Would you consider seeing your GP about this?
Please pm me if you want a private talk. I would be honoured to be a virtual ear.
13-12-2011 08:59 #29
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13-12-2011 14:21 #30
I'm sorry haven't read all the replies, but couldn't read and not reply.
I've felt this way more than I'd like to admit and once someone said to me something that really hit home.
If you were are "bad mother" you wouldn't be questioning yourself. You obviously love your littlie and want the best for her. Be kinder to yourself and accept/seek out extra support where you can.
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