That you know you are just a crap parent? I feel like an absolute failure and don't know why I thought I could do this. I look at my DD and think she deserves someone better. Someone who couldve birthed her better and someone who could feed her better than I am. I know that no one could love her more than me but that doesn't make me feel better.
My dp constantly says how great I am and I feel like one day soon she will realise I'm not.
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09-12-2011 19:30 #1
Have you ever felt...
09-12-2011 19:36 #2Senior Member
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- Nov 2010
*hugs* Do you feed her, love her, want the best for her, cuddle and kiss her?
If you can say yes you are the best mum for that little girl!
Trust your DP!
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09-12-2011 19:39 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I don't really know what to say because I haven't felt the way you are right now, but you obviously love your DD so so much and THAT is the MOST important thing.
I'm guessing you had a traumatic birth - maybe you could try talking to a cousellor or your doctor about it, and how you are feeling? Why do you feel you aren't feeding her well enough? Are you struggling with BFing or FFing?
She is still so little and it can be so overwhelming having such a dependent little creature to care for 24/7. It is also such a precious, beautiful, miraculous age and I hope you can find some help in one way or another so that you can enjoy your beautiful DD as much as possible.
09-12-2011 19:49 #4
I feel like that ever day of my life.
I wish I could say something to help you, but I know nothing said has ever helped me.
I hope you feel better soon.
I do believe though, that children are given to the people best suited to care for them and if you love her, then you are giving her everything she needs.
09-12-2011 19:50 #5
Etienne; it saddens me to read your post, and it concerns me that you feel this way. As someone who has experienced AND and PND I can relate to this despair that it sounds like you are feeling at the moment. I think it might be beneficial to increase the support-system in your life at the moment.
You have done NOTHING but everything you possibly can to ensure that your DD is getting the right start in life. You have been nothing short of amazing, and I think it might be helpful to receive some help with recognising this.
If you let me know what area you live in, I will be honoured to research available support in your area. I am not unfamiliar with this task, so please accept my assistance.
Lots of love from me to you.
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09-12-2011 19:55 #6
Etienne, you are an amazing woman, persisting as you have been with all you are suffering breastfeeding. Only an amazing parent would do this. I dont know what else to say. I wish i had your strenght.
09-12-2011 19:59 #7
I have felt the way you do and still do sometimes.
What you need to do is spend a couple of hours in your local centrelink office and then you'll know your DP is right - you are a wonderful mother who loves and adores her new baby. You ARE enough for her.
There is NO better for your precious daughter than her beautiful mum
09-12-2011 20:10 #8
09-12-2011 20:14 #9
Yes. I feel like this most days. Can I gently suggest you have a chat to a good GP regarding the possibility of PND?
You LOVE your daughter and that is the most precious thing any parent can give - it is so hard to keep sight of when you are feeling this way though.
09-12-2011 20:15 #10
You know, I don't think I have ever cared how my mother birthed or fed me.
Actually, I kinda LAUGHED when I saw some of my health records where a doctor recommended Mum feed me a mix of carnation evap milk and water instead of breastmilk. I didn't think, "OMG MUM! How could you DO THIS to me?!" I just laughed at how different hte advice is today.
I'm also pro-natural VB, but I was a caesarean-delivered baby. I've never once felt my mother is a crap parent because of this. Actually, I've never felt my mother is a crap parent at all (though I probably said it as a spiteful teenager).
Don't be so hard on yourself. How you feed and birth your child is unlikely to upset them when they're older.
A bad mother doesn't feed her kids at all. You're feeding yours, right? Can't be that bad then... *hugs*
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