So should they? Why? Why not?
Does it depend on circumstances? Does it depend on what the parents think?
Why is a father's surname more important for a child to have than a mother's?
* Poll to Come. *
View Poll Results: Should children have their father's surname?
- 92. You may not vote on this poll
Yes, he is the father regardless and deserves that respect.
No, they should almost always have their mother's surname.
It depends on what BOTH parents prefer.
Only if the man is a regular in the child's life.
Not if the mother doesn't want it to be.
Not if they're not a couple when the mother has the baby.
Other (please tell!)
WTF? This poll has stupid options! (Shut up - I couldn't think of any better ones! lol)
09-12-2011 18:14 #1
*spin off* Should children have their father's surname?
09-12-2011 18:16 #2
Mine have their Father's name...it was never discussed I just automatically did it...I guess if he wasn't around or anything then I would have given them mine.
09-12-2011 18:18 #3
My child has my surname. There was never any discussion. It really depends on the situation.
09-12-2011 18:20 #4
I dont see why the fathers surname I's more important then the mothers.
My dd has her bio dads surname because I thought it was the right thing to do even though we were barely together. Now I'm married to my wonderful dh and I have taken his surname, our children will have the same surname and because dd bio dad I's a complete **** and u need to have his signature to change any part of her name she I's stuck with it and I hate it.
I think that seeing as I'm her legal guardian and her mother, I'm the one who makes sure she I's feed, clothed and generally looked after I should be able to do whatever I want I'n regards to her. Including changing her name.
Sorry I'f I offend it's a very touchy subject for me.
09-12-2011 18:22 #5-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Depends on the situation, and the man.
In my situation I saw no reason as to why they shouldn't have his surname and even if I was single throughout my pregnancies with them I still would have given them his surname.
09-12-2011 18:23 #6
I think it depends but I hate how it is automatically the fathers surname. I find it very patriarchal. It has been normalised so we don't bother to question why on earth we automatically do it. I know I didn't.
DD has her dad's surname. I regret that. DD would actually like to change it to my name.
09-12-2011 18:24 #7
I truly regret giving DS1's XP's surname, even though we were 'together' at the time, I knew it was never going to last. It's been nothing but heartache for him.
I thought it was the done thing and wanted to keep the peace...XP was very volatile and chauvanistic.
I met DH when DS1 was just over 1 and he has been his 'Dad' ever since. When we got married DH changed his name to mine and we have had more babies since. It absolutely breaks DS1's heart that he isn't the same as the rest of us.
DH was married before me and his ex and their son have kept DH's name (even though she is repartened with a baby...?)
We are in the process of changing DS1's name through the recommendation of a psychologist who has seen that it is actually affecting his sense of self identity.
He was refusing to write his name at school and would get visibly upset when it came up (at the doctors etc)
XP is refusing to allow a complete change but has agreed to a hyphen. Which DS1 has refused. A judge will
likely rule in DS1's favour as it is quite obvious that it is in DS1's best interest.
Looks like it should be sorted out in the new year. It would just make his whole year.
The Following User Says Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:
09-12-2011 18:25 #8
DD has DPs surname, but that's because we're engaged (have been for YEARS), and when we marry I will take his surname. Then we'll all have the same surname.
Just taking a little longer than planned..
I don't get when kids get their dads surname though when the parents aren't together... My sister has a daughter to a one night stand and she has his surname.. I find that odd.
The Following User Says Thank You to danielle13 For This Useful Post:
Apple iPhart6 (10-12-2011)
09-12-2011 18:26 #9
I have my fathers surname. I have never met the man or his family. My mother was married so it was also her surname, not really an issue until I was older.
My children have their dads surname. They are very much involved in his life and he in theirs.
09-12-2011 18:28 #10
I knew there would be a spin off! Lol
Well this is how I look at it.
If a woman is happy to have her partners surname and the children to have the surname then it fine. No issue.
However I do not think a woman should be forced, guilted or have the good old "tradition" throw at her.
A woman's surname is no less valuable then a mans. We are no longer the property of a man nor are the children.
My surname is important to me. Very important it stands for new beginnings and everything my Mother risked her life for. I will not give up my name. Never. Just to see my mother so proud to have our surname is enough to make me cry. I wouldn't be here without her. I am honouring her sacrifices for me. My children would not be here if it wasnt for the hell she went through.
The fathers of my children know this and respect it. And I have nothing but respect for them for not putting on a fight and being more then happy with it.
One day I will tell my children our story so they know why they have my surname.
By Kayteigh in forum Single ParentsReplies: 5Last Post: 24-09-2012, 07:23
By LoveLivesHere in forum General ChatReplies: 56Last Post: 12-04-2012, 14:28
By Benji in forum General ChatReplies: 10Last Post: 03-04-2012, 19:47