Myself and my parents are really trying to downsize. We need to reduce our 'stuff' down to a caravan and so we have had one garage sale and planning another after Christmas. When planning and gathering things for each garage sale- we're realised how much "crap" we have. I work 8hrs a day, travel up to 1.5hrs a day, study 1.5hrs a day, and I see my son on average 3hrs a day and I look around and I ask myself- is it worth it? I work and miss out on that much time to buy, what, more toys, more crap? I have decided that next year and for each year from now on I will be buying experiences- maybe pay for the family to have a nice dinner out, go to a theme park together. Something hopefully we can look back on and remember happy times, laughter, squals of joy rather than 'things'. I totally get the no gift giving. I'm sick of being loaded up to the high hills with crap!
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09-12-2011 06:34 #21
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09-12-2011 07:36 #22
I don't get it. For me Christmas joy is not about gifts, its about getting the whole family together and catching up. My brothers live all over the world and this is the only time I get to see them, so maybe that's why its the part that matters to me. I don't know, I just don't understand how saying ' please no gifts for adults' ruins the fun. If you love buying gifts then you can always buy for the wishing tree and give to people who really need it and will appreciate it so much more.
09-12-2011 07:45 #23Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
Yep, my MIL always says 'don't buy me anything, I don't want any presents, save it for yourselves' but then turned around last week and got upset that we apparently spend more money on FIL than we do on her.. Like WTF?? We are more than happy to buy presents for her, and do every year so I'm confused..
09-12-2011 08:31 #24
We dont do adult gifts in my family, I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters and I only buy for my 12 yr old sister and 9 month old sister. DH's family, well we dont see them much as DH doesnt want to, but he has 4 sisters and 2 brothers.
It would just cost a fortune and when DH's family do presents they buy each other gift cards which I just think is silly.
My whole family prefer the no adult presents and we still have a great day without the gifts. family, friends and the kids, thats what xmas is about to us... Not the gifts.
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09-12-2011 08:31 #25
I wish DF's family would do this and just buy for the kids.
Each year they do a family xmas lunch with MILs family and each year it rotates between which sisters house and every year, all the aunts and uncles buy DF & I something and we dont get anyone anything because to be perectly honest, we dont know these people or what they would want/need/like and i HATE the thought of having to ask what someone wants.....and it makes me feel bad because each year they give us a gift each which is usually something that we wont use or dont need, its quite obviously an obligatory gift, bathsoaps (and not even nice once, like reallly cheap bad scented "I just picked it cause it was pink and girly so maybe you'll like it" type stuff, or a couple of years, DF has been given deoderant 'gift packs' from woolies...............etc....Id really much prefer they just save their money but feel rude saying so, especially as its not my family.
And while MIL does buy gifts for all DF's other cousins (whose parents gave us something), I still feel bad that we don't have anything to give to them but there is too many of them for us to even try and offer a small $10 gift, so we buy for DF's neices and nephew and thats it.
My family spends christmas with just our immediate family (so 5 of us plus DF and this year my sister has a BF so he'll probably be there and usually my brothers best mate (whos parents suck so he practically lives at our place) and one other family who are not blood relatives but we get along better with them haha.
And we just do a secret santa with just our immediate family and thats it.
mum and dad usually gives us all little extra stuff, we all get a chocolate stocking (carrying on from their santa tradition) and usually something that they know we'd like/use, such as books or vouchers etc. So much easier.
09-12-2011 08:41 #26
I'd much prefer if the person just kept their obligatory $10 or $20, or spent it on ice cream for the kids or something.
Two of my closest girlfriends and I have a tradition of writing each other a 'love letter' in a Christmas Card every year. That's all we get each other - a card with soppy stuff describing how we feel about each other and how much better our lives are for having known each other.
For my family we give them the present of our presence (and we bring a ham ), and we buy a gift each for our nephews. Usually the gift is something we can do together on Christmas Day - an artsy project or building a model plane or something like that.
For DH's family we give whatever is on their list to receive.
DH and I give each other nothing. Although one year he presented me with a wrapped up orange. We have a strange sense of humour
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09-12-2011 08:45 #27
09-12-2011 08:47 #28
No Presents for adults doesn't worry me at all. To me, the kids are the ones that should get presents, not adults. Normally we do buy for everyone though, but this year we just can't afford it. On one wage, paying rent, with a 6 yr old, and baby due around Christmas, and the 15 birthdays (literally) between November and january, it gets ridiculously expensive. But we do buy for parents, and grandparents.
09-12-2011 09:13 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
We used to do secret Santa for the adults in my family, but as we have so many kids now between us (16 grandchildren on my side of the family) we decided to drop the adult gifts. A couple of years ago, we decided to do secret Santa for the kids presents, and then this year we've dropped that too.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest- my kiddlywinks will be getting more than enough new things from Santa, us and my in-laws.
To me Christmas is not about presents, but about spending time with people you love.
That said, I still get something for my parents each year.
09-12-2011 09:38 #30
I can understand no presents for family but I always get family stuff anyway. Nothing huge just a bottle of wine and some chocolate or bubbly. Just so they have something to go home with and enjoy later.
However if I didn't get a present from my boyfriends/husband whatever there would be hell to pay. Seriously it's not hard to go and get a gift for someone you "love" without asking them what they want. If you don't know what I want obviously you don't know me.
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