Hi Ive only been a sham for a few months and its nothing like I thought it was going to be I love it so much more. However Im starting to see that I have really given up alot not just because Im saving as much as I can but there is NO TIME. from the start of my day at 6ish to about 8ish Im on the go go go with washing,feeding,cleaning this and cleaning that and then play play play with bub going out to playgroups and shopping its really alot to fit in 24hours.
Before I was a sham I would get my hair done every 6 weeks if i wanted to buy some shoes or maybe a dress I would just do it. If I found stuff for bub or the kids I would just get it. Everything from going out for lunch to going away for the weekend We just did it. Now I just cant get my head around spending money on myself I only have my hair done every 12 weeks I will buy at sales and Online sales if we need something and with the amount of kids in our family for xmas its been a life saver, cook from scratch and really took a big hard look at what made me really happy its not shoes or clothes its that I can say my hubby loves me so much that he gets up every day to work his butt off so I can stay at home and will support me when I go back to uni next year.
so is there anything you have given up or not do as much for yourself ?
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24-11-2011 08:19 #1
What have YOU given up to be a stay at home mum
24-11-2011 08:37 #2
I've been a SAHM for 5.5 years. The main thing that I've given up that actually bothers me, is my ability to contribute financially. It's difficult not having any control on what comes into the household, not to mention having to manage the one income. Along with that comes sacrificing the things that the 2nd income used to buy - trips to the hairdresser (I now do my own), new clothes when I feel like (I wait for sales or just go without now), social outtings (on the odd occasion we'll go out for dinner its usually just down to the tavern and we spend maybe $30 on all of us to eat). Holidays are a faraway dream too.
The next big thing is my adult interactions. I used to take adult conversation and interaction for granted when I went off to work all day, but I miss not having that now. My DP often says he'd swap with me any day, but I don't think he realises just how much changes, or how little free time a stay at home parent gets.
24-11-2011 08:47 #3
I thought I'd given up my chance at having a career I had studied very long and hard to have!
I have only recently managed to fight my way back into my industry and have a fledgling career now
But there were many days, years! Where I thought all opportunities were gone.
24-11-2011 08:52 #4
My career! I've had to turn down a lot of career and networking opportunities since my DS was born. Along with that is a lost sense of autonomy, of contributing to society (sahm are looked down on by everyone else), finacial independance, intellectual stimulation.
And then there is the small things like no longer being able to justify buying nice clothes and shoes or getting my hair and nails done.
24-11-2011 09:02 #5
My sanity. My life. My need for adult interaction. Extra earnings.
24-11-2011 09:03 #6
Im happy to see im not the only one feeling this way
I do wonder about what will happen when i go back work ill be fighting for jobs against people who dont have kids and even with uni when they ask what ive been doing for the past 5 years all Im going to have is um yeah well I was being a mum hmm sounds really impressive.
24-11-2011 09:10 #7
I mourne my shopping sprees, going out for dinner on a whim, dirty weekends away or at home, getting my waxing done, getting my hair done, dressing up in nice clothes and heels, seeing people!
Now i think of my kids before every penny i spend or every time i do something... I dont want to wosh away the next few years but god i want some me time and us time for DH and I.
Thanks for allowing me to mourne without feeling like a selfish cow!
DD August 10
DS October 11
24-11-2011 09:10 #8
07-01-2012 18:37 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Among the gumtrees
I feel so useless, powerless, lonely, and a burden (financially). I know i shouldn't feel this way, but i do.
I wish my dh could stay home for just a year, and live how i have lived the past 4 years.
Sent by carrier pigeon.
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