I agree with the other ladies, that your older two are able to be reasoned with, and even bribed to start sleeping in their own room, in their own beds.
Id be focusing on getting them into their own beds from the start of the night, and giving stars when they spend the whole night in their room, and then a reward when they get enough stars.
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22-11-2011 20:20 #11-
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- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
13-12-2011 21:31 #12
First of all - good on you for persevering and for knowing when to get help/advice! My 4 month old DD is doing the same as your little one at the moment, waking 4-5 times a night (okay yours is definitely worse now I've written that lol) and will only sleep on the boob, and will only sleep if I am holding her. I was very anti-routine for a baby so young, but a friend put me onto the Elizabeth Pantley - "No-Cry sleep solution" (how very appropriate for this forum?? Lol!
I've been trying it for 3 days now and have noticed a DEFINITE improvement - last night she slept for 4 HOURS BY HERSELF IN HER COT - NOOOOOOOO SUCKLING FOR COMFORT! There's enough free information on her website that you can give it a shot without buying the book and if it works for you then maybe you can consider buying the book. It's not a routine so-to-speak, it's about sleep association and letting bubs suckle until she's relaxed but not asleep, then you unattach her gently with your pinky and put a finger gently under her chin. For a mum that said "no freaking way, my daughter is going to scream the house down when I do this", I am telling you, you might be surprised.
Here's the link: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php
I don't have older children so I won't be much help with those sorry! Good luck and stay strong - you're a mum, strength is inherent! xxx
02-01-2012 16:05 #13Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
Just wanted to send you hugs this post nearly made me cry as this is exactly what I am doing with my 13 month old and it is extremely exhausting! It doesn't seem to be making her a better sleeper she is just terrible and really unhappy all day too! I am going crazy and I'm scared of ending up in ur position. I have friends who let their babies cry it out and they all seem to be happy and sleeping well. They tell me to just do it and I'm sick of hearing it. I can't it's not in me it feels wrong. They say yeah it's hard to hear them cry. Well do you know what is hard? This!! What I'm doing is not the easy way! It's frustrating because I'm not getting enough sleep and grumpy all day and me and my partner argue alot about her cos we are both exhausted and she is tired and unhappy too!! I need some real advice not simply ignore her. Is there actually anything that works? Or do I just need to suck it up and push on through until one magical day all will be well?
18-01-2012 21:53 #14
I think the stars system is worth a try. Maybe start with small bribes, like if you stay in your bed you get a hotwheels car in the morning or a lollipop. Hell tell them they can have chocolate for breakfast if they stay in bed.
My sister has a monkey clock and the kids aren't allowed up till monkeys eyes are open. Even then she bought them portable DVD players and lets them watch DVDs in bed when monkeys eyes do open, that usually buys her another half hour.
I agree with what the others said, get DH to take the kids out and let you sleep. You just need one good nights sleep and everything won't seem so bad.
30-01-2012 14:40 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I also would be getting T.O.U.G.H with the older kids. Rewards, bribery, child gates over their door ways so they can see you but can't come out (extreme I know, just throwing ideas around) put them in a room together even in a bed together so they still have the physical comfort of another person?
Or take one side off a cot and butt it up against your side of the bed for your two year old to sleep in (so he is in his own space but still kind of in your bed) that way you can co-sleep with bub.
As for bub that sounds really tough having her feed so often. Is she in pain? she sounds like she is needing the comfort of the feeds not so much the actual milk as the last feed would only just be digesting after 20 mins so surely not hungry again? My 6 month old DD will ONLY feed to sleep as well, as wants to stay attached while she sleeps, so when I try to detach her to lay her down she screams and the vicious cycle continues of feeding, detaching, screaming, feeding, detaching, screaming until she is so worn out after 30 mins that she finally will allow me to put her down. Its frustrating especially when there are other kids to look after as well.
Let us know how you go tonight.
06-02-2012 01:10 #16
Sorry I can't help much, DS1 sleeps well and DS2 doesn't. Don't think I did anything different this time. All I can say is I went through the 20 minute waking thing over Christmas and it did turn out to be teeth. Ended up going to the Dr and being told to alternate ibuprofen and panadol through the night which worked somewhat. Got down to 3 wake ups per night which I can just about live with. Haven't had much success getting down from there. I only have the two but I feel your pain. Have tried reading books and articles on no cry solutions but none really explain what you do with your other kids while you sort things out.
06-02-2012 04:50 #17
We were starting to have a few issues getting ds1 and 2 to bed (3.5 and 2) we just bought them galaxy lights from kmart. I know it wouldn't necessary fix anything but may entice them to stay in their bed? We shamelessly used them as bribery, they're whole room and walls light up with stars.
I know it's probably a lot more deep seeded than that... But they are pretty cool
Goodluck hope you get some sleep soon.
07-04-2012 21:16 #18Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
When I read this I thought of the Continuum Concept - have you heard of it?
I was fascinated when I first came across it and how it might relate to the kinds of situation you had found yourself in. The author talks a lot about the social nature of kids - how they inherently want to please, but how many of us parents in the west behave in a way that leaves our kids feeling like they have too much control.
The 'Read Some More' section has some good articles which mean you don't have to purchase the book, but will still get a good idea of the theory.
I hope this helps, and I also hope those tough days have subsided since you first posted.
All the best.
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