Sounds like what happened with myself and my ex. Before we had kids, everything was 50/50 because we both worked fulltime.
As soon as bub came along, suddenly I was suppposed to be the fulltime mother and cook and cleaner etc.
I love the idea of TGOC...
I hope he sees how unfair he is being to you, and starts to pull his weight, AND starts supporting you.
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Results 11 to 20 of 47
07-11-2011 15:47 #11
07-11-2011 16:04 #12
STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! Tell him if he wants something a certain way - to do it him bloody self!
07-11-2011 16:14 #13-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
07-11-2011 16:18 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I think you're right OP, I don't think the issue is how clean the house is, it sounds like he is using this issue to disrespect you and control you. I'm really not sure what you can do, when my XDP used to nag me about housework I ended up flat out ignoring him and just not doing more than I could anyway.... I'm really not sure what else you can do
07-11-2011 16:49 #15
I had a problem with DP leaving his clothes everywhere, I kept telling him if they are not in the washing basket, they wouldn't get done, then one day he had no clothes to go to work in....
Ever since all clothes are in the washing basket.
I'm quite happy to do it all, as long he is able to pick after himself and we are slowly getting there... My hormones are making it quite difficult hahaha!!
Once bub comes I hopefully will have him trained enough so that he just helps no more asking
07-11-2011 17:18 #16
STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE!!!! and I agree with the others, you work, you both make a mess, how about he picks the paper up himself? why is the housework all your responsibility.
I would say what I said to DH yonks ago when he complained about the dishes... you don't like the dishes not done? then do them, house not clean enough? then clean it... nothing more was said and a list? oh lordy, it would be in my bin a millisecond after it was given to me
Last edited by delirium; 07-11-2011 at 17:21.
07-11-2011 17:46 #17
You work AND your a mother, you can't spend your every spare (limited) moment cleaning up (and after him!!). Tell him to get a cleaner if it worries him so much.
07-11-2011 20:16 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
thanks to you ladies! you have certainly made up my mind that im not putting up with this BS any longer....as much as i dislike tit for tat actions i will stop doing his washing. IMO there are underlying issues and DH has openly admitted that he is jealous of me being able to work part time, but not beacuse i get to spend time with DS im sure, its just not working full time. in fact there are a number of "unfair" things that go on in my household and im so over it.....my DH goes out every saturday night to poker, while he does make sure he gives DS a bath etc, its not fair that he gets to go EVERY saturday night..he says i can go out whenever i want on a saturday night and he has been fine when i did BUT i cant just stay at home and call a friend etc i would have to physically go out for it to be acceptable that he stays home..WTF!!.......... sometimes my DH is a pig, he was horrible at times to me after DS was born and later admitted he was quite depressed (male PTSD i reckon) hence the boozing, aggression and nastiness i copped.......i think its also possible that he resents this 2nd baby, he didnt want to go back to ivf cos "i was so hard to deal with" when TTC 1...i have spoken to a counsellor about this and was going to get some relationship cousnelling re TTC 2 altho we both had a bad experience a few years b4 with that.....and then it worked anyway re pg.
anyway...........i know refusing to do his washing will $hit him, but i have tried reasoning, the list, ignoring it etc....i wouldnt care except for this petty criticism........however i will first inform of why im doing this cos i feel that is the adult thing to do rather then just behave as immature as he does. we have discussed getting a cleaner also. however i just want acknowledgement i guess that im NOT this bludger that he paints me as....i have to drive longer to work than him, i have to stay at my dads with DS overnight one night a week to save driving home and back again cos they mind DS 2 days a week so DH gets a 'free' night once a week etc.....honestly the more i write the more tragically pathetic he looks.........this idiot needs an attitude adjustment and to jump out the time machine he is trapped and start acting like a friigin real man ffs!!!!!!!
thanks for reminding me that he needs to pull his weight and grow up.
07-11-2011 20:43 #19
JFB - he gets 2 nights off a week. He gets when you go to your dad's off, and then he gets his poker night off.
God I wish I lived closer and you could come to mine and do sweet FA and call your friends, whatever!!!
Strike the washing at least. Your DH may need a great big fat talking to, and I wouldn't rule out counselling for him. He really has NO idea WTF you do when you have time with H. You contribute financially. He has NO right to treat you like this, even if you weren't contributing financially. Your time with H is MUCH more contribution as you are helping to mould his personality.
I'll shut up now!
07-11-2011 22:45 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- wine county
The more you right the angrier I'm getting at your DP .......
(gosh i love these!)
Completely agree with everything others have said ... the fact that he gets 2 nights off every week as well
Stick to your guns girl and tell him to grow a pair!
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