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07-11-2011 19:12 #131
07-11-2011 19:14 #132
We found out the hard way. (drunken brawl, police etc at 6 yrs old birthday party)
07-11-2011 19:17 #133Senior Member
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- Nov 2008
07-11-2011 19:17 #134Our family is complete!
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
I disagree with this WCM. Thinking of my friends who grew up watching their parents take alcohol to a party or sitting down and having a glass of wine with dinner every night this is the habit they have picked on. My whole entire family here in Aus don't drink (so aunts, uncles etc.) and neither my sis, me or any of my cousins are big drinkers. None of us sit down and have a glass of wine with dinner (I honestly couldn't think of anything worse) and, we don't take alcohol to parties either. As teenagers, yes we have all consumed alcohol, but we all stopped it by our early 20's and it definitely wasn't a weekly occurrence. I can honestly say the worst hangover I've had has been a headache the next day and I have always remembered what I did and have had enough wits about me to know what I was doing when I was drinking. I don't know...I don't allow my kids to see smoking in moderation, or people using drugs in moderation....I am teaching them why we don't have these things. I use my MIL as an example of why not to consume alcohol! Thanks for elaborating further....I just still don't really get the logic but I think my views are probably different to most too though so I accept that I'm probably the one with the odd view here.
ETA - My kids do see adults drinking alcohol. They know that they're for adults only and that it's what makes their grandma do silly things etc. and we talk about responsible drinking etc. but like you WCM, no alcohol at home, we don't drink and I think this is the best way to model the behaviour but after reading your last post I think I get what you were saying more...I'm going to stop typing cause I'm not even making sense to myself anymore! Time for bed for me!
Last edited by Areca; 07-11-2011 at 19:26.
07-11-2011 19:20 #135
My DS's first b'day was a family BBQ with adults and children and we had beer and wine for the adults (and juice, water etc for the children). If it just a kids b'day party, then we would not have supplied alchol.
07-11-2011 19:33 #136Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
I agree that seeing smoking/drugs/drinking normalise it, and thankfully my kids rarely see smoking and never see drug taking.
Drugs are illegal, so kids have no rights to see that, smoking is injurious to health so I agree that they shouldn't see smoking.
However alcohol is a grey area as it is legal to drink it and *some* medical experts contend it's healthy to consume some. Alcohol, like driving carefully is legal, so my kids see me drive carefully, they dont see me drink (as I don't) and they see family members consume alcohol legally (and in moderation) from time to time.
I'd rather my kids never drink, or preferably wait 'til they are 25, hopefully at least 21 and I'll insist/encourage to wait 'til the legal age of 18.
Part of seeing alcohol being consumed in moderation is seeing me not drink and never seeing their father drunk. They hear people talk about designated drivers, they hear family members refusing a refill so they are under the limit.
My kids see moderation in our house so that *if*/when older they see other people drunk they'll know the difference and they'll know it needent be like that.
My kids are still kids yet, I can't say that what I am doing is perfect but so far it's looking good for my older niece and nephew. Other family members have never drunk in moderation in front of their kids, and their kids are both currently train wrecks
We can only carefully consider what we know, consider what we are advised and try to pick our way through the maze that is child raising
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07-11-2011 19:45 #137
For people who think it's ok to d rink at child ren's parties what's the protocol with that? Will it be said to any other parents in the invitation? Before the party? On arrival? Will they have to find out later on collection? Would you as s ume it's ok to drink at a party where other people's children are or would you talk to other parents first?
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07-11-2011 19:48 #138
I'm wondering that too ShareaBook....
07-11-2011 19:54 #139
I usually drive me, DD, my friend and her DS, so there is no way I would drink while I was driving. But I probably wouldn't think that much of it if my friend I drove there had one or two.
Defiantly no alcohol if you are in charge of others children!
07-11-2011 20:06 #140Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Well so far I have only been to parties where it has been mostly adults. I've never had someone drop off their child with me before, as DD is only 1 and most children I know are the same age.
We have dinner parties with friends who have older kids, and they are all happy to share wine with dinner (usually with one person as designated driver).
For DD's birthday I offered people a choice of drinks when they arrived, including wine or beer. Most people who came didn't have children, but some did. Several people had a drink or two, but no one got drunk. The focus was definitely on DD.
We booked out a restaurant for her naming day, and after the ceremony everyone was offered champagne with the canapes. Beer and wine were available afterwards. Again, the focus was on DD.
I personally wouldn't drink if I were left in charge of several kids.
To me there is a big difference between a civilised glass of wine, and lots of people getting drunk.
I also think there is a difference between parties at someone's house that are mainly full of adults and go for several hours/ into the evening, and the 1 hour party in the park type scenario, or one where kids are dropped off.
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