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01-11-2011 18:12 #71-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- The 'Gong, NSW
01-11-2011 18:14 #72
My DP is the king of corny jokes. You cannot have a conversation without one slipping in. The most annoying thing is it's catching:
DD (12 years old) is holding DS (14 months). DD: "Mum, can you take him, he's heavy!" Me "He ain't heavy, he's your brother."
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01-11-2011 18:19 #73
My dear dad has a few, not really jokes but still "him".
- here for a good time, not a long time
- see you in a soup and we will have a pea together
There are others but I can not remember them.
I always tell DD that she makes a better door than a window
Love all of these too
I remember my dad calling me over when I was little and asking if I wanted to see china. He would then proceed to pick me up by my ears and ask me if I could see it. I never saw china but did see lots of stars
01-11-2011 18:56 #74Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
My Dad was the king of corny jokes and sayings before he died. Some of his favourites included:
Him: Knock Knock (he used this one after I got crabby with him for something, and was giving him the silent treatment)
Me: Whose there?
Me: Lettuce who
Him: Lettuce be friends
If someone done something really, really stoooopid he would tell you to stand up and give your brain some air. (off topic sidenote, but my younger sister is in her 20's, and up until LAST WEEK she never understood what he meant by this one, I had to sit her down and explain it S.L.O.W.L.Y to her)
If brains were dynamite you'd be the safest person in the whole damn universe
He also used pretty much every other one listed in this thread
01-11-2011 19:04 #75
My dad also used to come home and take of his belt and say "ive hear you guys where naughty today- time for a belt-ing"
He thought it was Funny as. Before we were old enough to figure it out, we used to scatter (because we probably were naughty that day) and hide in our room. I always wonder why my older sister and parents would just laugh at all us younger kids.
Mum said it was lovely because they would get 20min alone time before one of us crept out.
Last edited by Bank; 01-11-2011 at 19:07.
01-11-2011 21:56 #76
My DH always has dad jokes for example
When we are explaining something and say "well..." he says "deep hole with water in it"
Same with the following:
"So..." "cheap Chinese labour"
"What?" "unit of power"
"Hey" "horses eat it"
"I was thinking..." "uh oh that's dangerous"
And if he does something or says something cheeky and I say "that's not nice" he says "wasn't s'posed to be!"
And my dad used to tell these jokes:
"what do you call a deer with no eyes?" "No idea (no eye deer)"
"what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?" "still no idea"
"what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs that's having sex?" "still f**king no idea!"
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Last edited by Raff; 01-11-2011 at 22:00.
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02-11-2011 11:13 #77
I have another:
"Dad what is for dinner?"
"Sh*t on a stick"
When we said "ta" instead of thank you
"Tar's what's on the road, why are you thanking that?"
02-11-2011 11:34 #78
My dad says alot of these and a few more.
Me:"I have a runny nose"
Dad: "And feet that smell too!"
Me: "Ok well I'm off" (leaving their place)
Dad: "You look alright but I was wondering what that smell was!"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Dad: "Did the first time we saw ya, Second time we couldn't believe our eyes"
I think I'm the only one in our family who laughs at his jokes.
02-11-2011 13:22 #79
Oh a dad one
Me: 'where you going'
Dad: 'see a man about a dog'.
(whenever he went anywhere).
02-11-2011 15:02 #80
My dad is full of them.
Me: I'm thirsty
Dad: Hi, thirsty, I'm Friday!
Me: I'm hungry
Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Germany!
Me: Is it going to be cold tonight?
Dad: Yes, and dark too.
Most embarrassing: when I go to my local Chinese restaurant with my family, they offer you a hot towel at the end and my grandpa always says "No thanks, I'm full." Gah. Keep it in the family, Pop!
Oh - and if I fall over or something: "Next time you trip, send me a postcard!"
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