Most of you refer to your dads or FILs. I have to cope with dad jokes from my DP EVERY day. (He's 35, and I don't want to think about what he will be like at 70)
Most of the dad jokes mentioned on this thread are part of his daily repertoire.
I'll add a few more for your ...eh...amusement.
1) Someone/anyone: Be there at 6.30/7, ok?
DP: 6.37? On the dot?
He's got a few rude ones, too. But I'll spare you'all!
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Results 31 to 40 of 82
31-10-2011 22:37 #31
31-10-2011 22:41 #32
ok, I remember the really lame ones my Dad does- or did, 24/7 but they aren't funny to me! I was trying to remember the really good ones but I can't, probably because they are a once off
You answer the phone and say "Daaad, Peter is on the phone"
Dad "Well tell him to get off, we can't afford a new one!"
When we were little, we would carry something for him and he would say "oh you are strong!" we would be all proud of ourselves and he would add "yeah, so strong I can smell you from over here!"
We used to have to ask to be excused from the dinner table if we had finished, so it was "dad, mum, can I be excused?"
Dad "yeah, you're excused, I was wondering who did it" (holding his nose)
More annoying than funny... "Can I go in the pool" Answer "yes you can" - "yaay!" - "but you are not allowed to right now" wtf? "well you CAN go in the pool, but you may not right now" Seriously annoying and only funny to him.
31-10-2011 22:42 #33
Ya know I don't have a Dad (well I was 8 when he passed) You would think that would mean I didn't get Dad jokes......
Wishful thinking.. My mum had learnt them all by then, So had Big brother & one of my Sisters. DH also had no Dad.. you think great, Double Immunity.. Buggered if I know where he got them from .....
Mum/DH/entire family in unison: "Well bought up, Pity you weren't"
Oh And then there was Dad's best mate, without fail the ONLY time he would be in Sydney was on someone (anyone's) Birthday. Just as we were about to leave he would Ring the Door bell. We would tell him he may as well come along, and which Point he Would respond... "better go put the Good thongs on then" Go to his car, take his thongs off on the Driver side, put them on at the Passenger's side.
Also wasn't a Drinker... Calls Coke the Hard Stuff.. occasionally Has Diet one and tell's us He's Driving and needs to watch his intake...
31-10-2011 22:52 #34
My dad was a primary school teacher so he had an easy audience all day every day laughing at his "jokes".
Dad"That's what horses eat"
31-10-2011 22:54 #35
If a friend came over and said "thanks for having me" when leaving.
Dad "thanks for being had".
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31-10-2011 23:25 #36
Dad "who died and made u king "
Me smart as$ 15 yr old at time "Elvis did"
Me "what "
Dad " it makes the lights work"
Can't think of any more ATM
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31-10-2011 23:39 #37
"Dad I have something in my eye".... "your finger?"
"dad I have something in my shoe" ..."your foot?"
31-10-2011 23:42 #38
I remember when I was in high school, I spoke wayyyyyyy too fast and wayy too often. Sometimes I would sort of stutter (i suppose) because my words were trying to come out soo fast.
Me: ..and then mum goes, mum goes..
Dad: MumgoesMumgoes..sounds like an African tribe
31-10-2011 23:54 #39-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
"I got a haircut"
"What? Just one?"
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01-11-2011 00:23 #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
Love this thread! My dad has said almost all of these!
Everytime the phone rang we would ask who it was and dad would say eddie Amin and we'd say who? And he'd say Eddie Amin the president of Uganda. Anyway after I left home I heard he'd died so I rang dad to tell him and he cried cause it ruined his joke from then on.
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