I think loads (if not all) of us Mums feel that way at times... it's never-ending and very hard work. I just have the 1 son (15 months) but have been single since pregnant so have done it all on my own (have not slept in in years). If it wasn't for daycare I would not be able to cope at all.
Do you know what I think? I think it's the sever lack of support we have these days.... no-one helps! They're either too busy or live too far away. Furthermore, women don't seem to support each other enough either, even though we're all going through it ourselves. Just look at how many of us come on to this forum just for a few words of support/encouragement/validation.
It was hard on my nanna's generation because although they had 'the village', they didn't have choices, and often had unsupportive husbands and unhappy marriages. It's hard on Mums today because we have impossible expectations put on us and are expected to do it all like superwoman and enjoy it! The cost of living is so high now that for many Mums, work is not an option let alone flexible work arrangements.
There's nothing worse than knowing full well you need to make some changes in your life to better it, yet being too tired to bother. If you're a single parent of centrelink benefits then you can be eligible for JET assistance in which the Government will cover the childcare costs. Perhaps look into this for starters so you can get a break for a day or two a week. This will give you more energy to think about what best to do to make some changes. x
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08-12-2011 20:37 #41
08-12-2011 22:01 #42
hey, have you talked to CL about jet child c
are? as a SP you should be able to get it, it makes each hour like 20 cents all you have to do is be studying, looking for work or working. that may be good for you to have some ** You** time. hugs
09-12-2011 07:26 #43
I was in this position. I loved DD, but HATED being stuck at home. Unable to do anything - just sit and will the day away so i could sleep and wake to another mundane day. I did this for near 4 years - and finally got a parttime job.
Apart from the money (which was a huge help for my family etc.), it was getting out, talking to adults and feeling like i was doing something (as such)
I struggled with not being there as much for DD, but in that - we are so much better off all round.
I realise this is much harder for you. I have 1 child and have a DH - in that though, i hope some of the suggestions from others assist you - and allow you to do something creative with your own skills and likes/dislikes.
you are not a crap mother - i have never been able to bake cookies, do the dinner thing and have it laid out on the table and be proud of myself. Wish i was like that - but i am just NOT.
Take care and hope things improve soon. (PS. I do suggest you talk to a GP or professional about possible depression/anxiety)
09-12-2011 07:47 #44
Cass- I get it. In fact I was going downhill fast while not working. Once I got back on my feet and started waitressing I kicked a bit of depression I was shouldering. Once I went back to the office it was like my brain had been re-started. It's hard.
All aspects of being mum and dad rolled into one is damned hard, but it's the cards we've got. It's going to stay hard but I think it's important to find what helps each of us as individuals cope. For me it's part time work. For someone else it might be weekly play dates, or cooking etc etc.
I hope you can talk to a counsellor to try to resolve some emotional baggage to better equip you to find what will help you.
Hugs and courage!
Kinberlygal1- I'm a single parent, get CL benefits and work part time. My daycare costs me just under $50 per day, and will cost me just over $50 a day come the new year. I've been in my job for 8 years so have increased my wage dramatically but it's still not high. I still end up working for the equivelant of $12 an hour (not including clothes etc) as take home. Imagine if I was entry level in my company...
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