or am I just a cr@p mother?
This is what I think: I love my kids, but I hate being a mum.
Well, perhaps "hate" isn't the best word, but I know that I am sick of it. I have been a sahm for 7 years (and a single one for 1 year) and I am over all the bullsh!t from it. Sure, there are good times but I just miss my old life, I am sick of staying home trying to be the "good mother" who bakes cookies or does school things etc. I actually know I'd be a better mother if I had a full time job and only saw my kids a few hours a day. I hate relying on Centerink and child support for income, I don't fee important or even worthy. I count down the days when the kids go to their dads (or their Aunty and Uncle's).
So please tell me I am not the only one that feels this way. Believe me if daycare wasn't so damn expensive I'd put the kids in tomorrow if I could and get back to work and/or study full time.
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27-10-2011 08:37 #1
Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way...
Last edited by mum2bubba; 27-10-2011 at 08:40.
27-10-2011 08:41 #2
I don't always love being a mum. I think I'm getting 'used to' being a mum. For ages I felt like that, loved my son but didn't love being a mum.
But I only have 1 and my DF is really Involved. I think since whatever switch flicked for him and he became a more active parent I've not hated being a mother because it's not ALL on me.
It certainly doesn't make you a bad mum. It means your human!
AND even still I count down the days till jaspers daycare days. And tell work I can't work wed, Thursday AND Friday because I need just one a day week at least all to myself.
The Following User Says Thank You to Boobycino For This Useful Post:
27-10-2011 08:42 #3
Thanks I just feel so awful admitting that because when you're a mother you're supposed to enjoy it apparently.
27-10-2011 08:43 #4-
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
I don't hate being a mum, but I wouldn't want to be a SAHM for a long time. I enjoy work. I can't wait to go back to uni next year and further my studies. I actually like my son having his one day in CC, he loves it. I love my time at home but wouldn't want to be here everyday. Cleaning and shopping does not thrill me at all.
27-10-2011 08:44 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Brisbane :)
I love being a mother but I don't like being a stay at home mother.
I don't feel included, I feel as though I'm wasting away and no one knows I exist!
It's a sad feeling, it really is. I struggle between actually wanting to work full time and the guilt of doing it, knowing that my son is a little clingy and needs me more than I'd like sometimes (that sounds horrible).
But, working gives me a much better balance where I look forward to seeing him, the quality time we spend together means more so no, you are not alone. I'm partnered but I still want to feel as though I have my own money, that the budget is worked out and if I see something I like I can buy it!
27-10-2011 08:46 #6
I would love to be a full time stay at home mum. But we cant afford me not to work. How much is daycare for one day for you? Just to get some respite? It ends up being $33 a day in the end for us. I think even if i was a sahm i woukd put him in for one day!
Sent from my iphone, excuse my mistakes, i have big thumbs.
Me 26 + DH 25 baby eric 13/08/2010
27-10-2011 08:52 #7
After I had dd1 I went and found a job when she was 11months I hated being a SAHM and loved being at work full-time! It doesn't mean ur a bad mum! Going to work was the only way I could cope with dds fiery attitude and energy!!! Hugs Hun maybe going to work 1 day a wk could b a start and finically viable?
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)
27-10-2011 08:53 #8
hey mate, you know I don't have kids but I just wanted to respond. I have read alot of your posts lately and it breaks my heart.
You seem really down and flat, and more then in a life is hard and im tired kinda way, like in a im possibly depressed kinda way.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better and I don't want to hurt your feelings but I think that maybe it could be a good idea to see a dr and look at talking to someone.
Not just for this stuff right now, but you have history and I think it's holding you back. I don't think your a bad mother at all, but I think you could find joy in your life - in all aspects - which would make being a mum more enjoyable too??
hugs xo im here if you ever want to talk about anything (we have similar upbrings so I kinda get where you coming from in lots of ways).
you made big chances leaving G, and maybe the realisation that day to day life is kinda hte same in many ways gets hard to cope with? But there is lots of stuff before G too hun? You know what I mean? You deserve to find peace and happiness
27-10-2011 09:16 #9
I totally understand Im going through these feelings at the moment. There is no available child care for me to go back to work so I am hating being locked up in the house. and relying on centrlink for income really does suck ! Im not really a home body I need to get out & work I love working but its just one of those things I guess it really sucks ! & my partner isnt the father of my bub so basically im a single mum & it sucks. Only becuase I dont expect him to take responsibility BUT yea I miss my old life too sometimes. But not as uch as I love my daughter.
27-10-2011 09:23 #10
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