Yep. Mostly when we all get sick and he is not there to help - it is really hard for me with no support and yeah i totally resent him when i'm alone with 2 sick kids.
When we are well i don't feel resentment.
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20-11-2011 11:45 #11has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
20-11-2011 12:53 #12
Totally resenting dh today... Feeding newborn who I got no sleep from last night... 2 eldest girls are being absolute nightmares!!! Dh worked until 11 Wednesday and thursday, Friday was a 6:30 home time and has worked from 7 till late yesterday and today... When can a mumma catch a break?!?! I have a house inspection on Tuesday!! I HATE renting!!!! Can't wait until we start building... The stress is killing me!!!
Lucy Alys (July '06)
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20-11-2011 13:38 #13
Only because DD has recurrent and severe tonsilitis and sinusitis. But only ever gets it when he is away.
She will have it every 2nd swing and always has it from the night he leaves until the night before he comes back.
We also have no family here as we moved to WA from NSW so no respite at all.
Being pregnant and getting no sleep for 2 weeks straight is no fun at all.
Otherwise, I love him to bits and appreciate what he's doing for our family every day.
Brain, brain, gone away, will come back another day.
20-11-2011 13:38 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
My husband only works away a few times a year and only for a couple of days at a time, but his hours are all over the place inc most weekends. He also loves having 'me time', which really is 'him', not me and the kids when he does have a break so when you put the two together he's not around much. I go to pretty much everything on my own with the kids and rely heavily on friends for help when things clash as his job is so inflexible.
I do really resent him a lot. I hate feeling like this as I am grateful fir him providing for us, but realistically he does it coz he loves it, not to provide.
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20-11-2011 21:19 #15-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
we have compromised, and live very frugally to be together more.
If we wanted to spend more, we'd need to be apart more, so this suits us
20-11-2011 21:24 #16
I do at times. He is not working away for this 6 months but he is going back to it next year (at the moment he is doing shift work). I resent that I am stuck here and he is overseas seeing things as well as working. I resent that he gets time with nothing to do.
Makes it a little difficult as he is not the father of my kids either so it is pretty petty as well! I do know this, but the feelings are still there.
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20-11-2011 23:58 #17Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
My DH flew out this morning for 5 weeks on one week off. It does get to you after a while and it is hard doing everything on your own all the time.
I have a 4 month old and 15 y.o - crazy I know
Worst thing that annoys me is that they have such a carefree life working away, everything is done for them, go to work, clock off then they can have all that time to themselves doing whatever they want.
I too used to work away so I know how carefree it can be, no hassels about bills, landlords, kids, supermarkets, cleaning, cooking etc etc. It's usually all done for you.
I do resent the fact that he can just sleep whenever he wants (after work of corse) but then when he comes home he doesn't want to do much as he is TOO TIRED!! Ahhh
Sorry I am venting . . . but I can totally understand the frustration other mums have when their partners are working away.
I truly believe that at the end of the day, life is far too short & money isn't everything. I know it makes things more comfortable but the loss of the family unit is far more important. I just wish he could see it that way too.
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21-11-2011 08:50 #18
I don't really resent him.....I feel sorry for him. He is the one that misses out on so much of the kids, I get them all day, every day. He suffers much more then I do, although I have been doing this for a long time, and now the kids are older (6, 4 and 3) things are so much easier for me, things were probably different in the beginning.
He is just kicking off his last project away, then we will be settling back down at home, no more moving, no more time away. I can't wait! Will be fantastic for all of us.
14-07-2012 19:42 #19
I hear ya totally! My hubby goes away too for work and what annoys me the most is its like he has his single life back and goes out to clubs and gets wasted with other work colleagues, gets massages, etc ... So yeah, he provides but he enjoys this lifestyle ...I don't
.... I work full time, have a 5 yo dd and have to basically manage as a single mum. And when he's home he doesn't even cut the grass, hasn't done so in years ! Have to pay a gardener :-/ Grrrrr
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26-11-2012 16:25 #20
Every time something goes wrong at the house I ring him up and abuse him and hang up! In my opinion it's all his fault for not being there!
No, honestly I do appreciate how hard it is for him to be away from us, but I can't help but think that I have the far tougher job. He gets all meals cooked, his room cleaned, privacy, time to himself, a gym, a swimming pool, a bar, events every second weekend, plenty of friends to talk to, only has to be responsible for himself, doesnt have to worry about doing all the running around and paying bills. I don't get any of that! plus all the added stress of raising 3 boys, I could list everything that goes along with it, but I think most of you will know anyway. Sure he has to work, but I know what they do up there, its about 2 hours of work and 8 hours of standing around. the hardest thing about it is the heat and the boredom, and then when he has a go at me for buying take away or going to the movies, or when he comes home he reckons HE'S too tired to do anything that's when I loose it!
I wouldn't mind switching roles for a week and see who has it easier...
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