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  1. #1
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    Default HELP! 15 month old waking at 4am and not going back to sleep!

    Hi Ladies,

    Wondering if anyone can help me or has any suggestions as I am at my wits end here!

    My beautiful 15 month old DS has started waking up at 4am and not going back to sleep. Its been like this for about 2 weeks now that he wakes at 4am-ish and cries and cires and I bring him in to bed and he cries and cries until I finally get up and he keeps crying until he finally stops.

    I have tried using Panadol, Pain Stop (Day), changing his nappy, giving him a drink of water, rocking him, try to settle him in bed, bring him into our bed but he just cant seem to get back to sleep and stop being so upset.

    He is teething at the moment (his molars are coming through). And Panadol doesnt seem to make any difference as when I give it as him he still doesnt stop crying.

    I am at a loss as what to do! On Saturday night he woke at 3.30am and he just wouldnt go back to sleep....just cried the whole time (he was in bed with us). Gave him drugs and nothing seemed to make a difference.

    Last night (today) he woke at 4am and I thought the only other thing I can do is try to let him cry it out (I personally dont like CC). So I let him cry for an hour in bed before I went and got him and I he ended up falling asleep as he was so exhausted from all the crying.

    The thing is is that he is so tired. When I bring him to bed he yawns and rubs his eyes and is obviously tired but just wont sleep. I am also beginning to get worried that this is developing into a habit now but dont know what to do to break it. The thing is is that when we bring him into bed he doesnt settle and get happy. He still cries which makes me think that maybe it isnt an attention thing....but I just dont know!

    So if anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate your help. I am so tired!! My DP and I have to go to bed at 8pm so we can make sure we at least get some sleep.

    Thanks,

    Michelle

  2. #2
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    hi michelle - big hugs to you. 4am seems way too early for your little one to be waking. i'm not sure what to suggest but i think i'd persevere with patting him in his cot - a sort of CC. try patting him until he stops crying and calms down then walk out for a couple of minutes and go back and do the same and then leave for 4 mins and so on up until 10 mins. don't leave him for more than 10 mins to cry. hopefully he'll relax and learn to go back to sleep.

    good luck.

  3. #3
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    I feel for you. That sleep deprivation is a killer. I agree with going in every 10 mins. I did that we DS3. At first, he would scream louder and harder when I came in, so I didn't stay to pat him - just made him cross. I just lay him down, told him it was still sleepy time, then left.

    First night He cried for 40 minutes (with me going in every 10mins). Second night 30, after that it would be 20 or 10, and then I would only need to go in once.

    I set step by step goals. First, "I'm not going to get you out of bed before 4am", then 5am, 6am, and finally 6.30am, which is where we remain. I stuck with my goal NO MATTER WHAT (so I didn't relent and get him up - it's so easy to change your mind in the night when you tired and confused and just want some peace).

    He is consistently sleeping til 6 or 6.30 now. I also find now that the backrub routine does work now, if he does wake earlier.

    Good luck

  4. #4
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    Hi SpencersMum and MumofThree,

    Thanks for the advice....the only problem with going in is that he will scream even louder if I leave once I have been in to pat him back to sleep.

    So I dont know if I should go in and upset him more or just leave him.

    But I can certainly give it a go....but I have to say I am little apprehensive tho. Its like when he sees me he wants to be with me so gets extremely upset when I leave.

    Maybe I should get DP to do it....

    Thanks...I will let you know if it works!

    Michelle

  5. #5
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    Hi there
    I feel for you. We had this issue with our little boy a few months ago and it lasted a few weeks then he resettled into a more decent wake time of 6ish. at the time it felt like we were never going to get a good nights sleep again!!! We resorted to CIO as he sounds similar to your little one, in that he would just get even more upset if we went to him. He is so determined and he could cry for soooo long but eventually he got sick of it. Only you can make the decision - its got to work for you and your DC. Different people have different opinions, a lot of people were against the method we chose to let him cry it out, but we were at our wits end.

    You might find that he sorts it out himself really soon - whatever you choose to do take heart in knowing that its so fleeting and befor eyou know it you will be all sleeping again!
    Lisa

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    Quote Originally Posted by lj1977 View Post
    You might find that he sorts it out himself really soon - whatever you choose to do take heart in knowing that its so fleeting and befor eyou know it you will be all sleeping again!
    Lisa
    Thanks Lisa....I am definately hoping that he sorts himself out. Its so hard isnt it? You want to do whats best and you want him to sleep as well but what is the best?

    I think you are right and it will sort itself out....I figure by the time he is 16 years old I should be getting a decent nights sleep by then!

    Michelle

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    Summer started doing this at about a month ago. Same time too! 4am! She would wake up & just scream and want to get up. I would try anything and everything to get her back to sleep but it wouldnt work and I would give in to her and end up just getting out of bed and that still didnt stop.
    She has settled down a bit now thankfully. Sorry not much advice here just wanted to let you know that I know what you are going through I hope your little man gives you a well deserved rest soon.

  8. #8
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    Hi there

    I too have a 15mth old who is doing much the same thing. I was up last night from 11pm til 3am with dd waking and screaming every 15mins. She has been doing this for a week in total now and I too am at my wits end.

    I had to work today and now its getting closer to bed time again I am dreading it as I am soo tired but just know she is going to wake.

    I too have tried neurofen to no avail.
    I sort of gather that maybe it is her teeth as she doesn't have many for her age so I figure that something must be happening... Its soo much easier to be able to explain the situation rather than thinking the worst being she is playing me and creating a very bad habit.

    I got from the chemist today some natural drops called calm which I am in the process of busily dosing her up and I have also been given some magnesium phosphate tablets (from health food shop) to crush up and give to her which as supposed to be somewhat a relaxant....

    Will soon find out tonight.. I am not holding out much hope.

    I am to the point of taking up the offer of the neighbour and borrowing a dose of verlargan or something like that (apparenlty like fernergen) Our neighbour works at the daycare centre that dd goes to and thinks that maybe a does or two of that for the next couple of nights might help.....

    We even tried a night light as we thought maybe she is now scared of the dark but i honestly don't know what is wrong. To make matters worse I am on my own for the next week as my dh is away for work and I also need to go to work tue and wed. yay yay

    Just letting you know your not alone and if you find somehting that works please pass it on and I will let you know how I get on with this concoction of stuff I am about to give her...

    szombie girl

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleNowakowski View Post
    ....the only problem with going in is that he will scream even louder if I leave once I have been in to pat him back to sleep....

    So I dont know if I should go in and upset him more or just leave him.
    That's exactly what Ben would do. Even the patting wouldn't calm him, and he would definitely be screaming louder when I left than when I went in. I would be thinking "jesus, that was a waste of time, no way is he going to settle". But then he would surprise me and suddenly go quiet. I think just knowing I wasn't far away (even though I wouldn't give him what he wanted) helped I think, and he was able to settle himself.

    As I say, it took a bit of persistence, and I was VERY consistent, once I decided to do it. He learned that I WASN'T going to get him up. I set my goals in advance, based on what I felt I could cope with (i.e. when he was waking at about 4am, I'd set myself the goal of not getting him up until 5am, so I knew that, at worst, he would scream for an hour - in fact the longest he did was 40 mins, then went to sleep). You have to work within what you can manage, it's no use reducing yourself to a drivelling mess. Getting DP to do it would be great. Mine doesn't do night stuff, so I had to get through on my own. I was actually amazed at how quickly it started to work, especially given his first ear-splitting protests!

    Good luck, and keep us posted.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by june05isttimer View Post
    To make matters worse I am on my own for the next week as my dh is away for work and I also need to go to work tue and wed. yay yay

    Just letting you know your not alone and if you find somehting that works please pass it on and I will let you know how I get on with this concoction of stuff I am about to give her...

    szombie girl
    Oh I feel for you too! Its hard to do it on your own, especially when they are upset and all you need to do is go to the toilet or something and they wont let you. Hopefully your DD will get it out of her system this week and be a darling little girl next week!

    And yes if you can let us know how all the concoctions go that would be great. Very curious to see if it has an effect.

    But it is nice to know that others are going through the same thing except I wouldnt wish it on anyone! Its just so weird and a little frustrating that it cant be easily fixed...especially when you wish it could be!

    I have to say that last night (this morning) DS woke at 4.50am and he was happy! He played in his cot until about 5.30 when I got up and got him as I had to get up in half an hour anyway for work. So I dont know if letting him cry the night before worked or if this is him starting to get back into the routine but maybe its working?

    If he does wake up crying again I think I will have to keep going with what MumofThree and LJ1977 has suggested...certainly I need to keep the consistency anyway!

    Thanks all and I will let you know how tonites sleep goes!

    MIchelle


 

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