Lol oh i'm tired too believe me I've been so sick this time but i have wonderful kids so it helps. My youngest is a little boy who is 4 turning 5 in Jan and i have 3 girls ages 7, 10 and 13.
It is hard but i have a lot of support from my mum luckily. I have moments of oh my god how am i going to cope with a newborn but i know i can, i will just adapt like i have with my other kids. You just do what you have to do and somehow it works out
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23-09-2011 23:06 #11
24-09-2011 06:08 #12
I will be soon! I currently have a 15 month old DS and due with DD in 6 weeks! I split with my partner a few months back. I must say I am a little terrified of how I will manage both, DS is a terrible sleeper, cosleeps as it's the only way he will sleep and still wakes five times a night!
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03-10-2011 18:30 #13
Oh wow! I'm NOT alone afterall!!! Do you mind if I have a little rant also? I'm 29, my ex-......partner is 34 and no longer in our lives. We have DS who is 13 months and I'm due on the 18/11 with a new one. I also have a DS from a previous relationship who is 9. I left a volatile relationship 5 weeks ago and am now living with my mum (as hard as it is) til I find a rentAl somewhere as my ex is in the house (long story there). To put it bluntly, I feel like total s**t! I can now understand how a discarded nappy feels when it gets to the local tip! I'm totally lost and at the most vulnerable part of my pregnancy. Sorry to sound like a sook, but I think I'm due to lose it, haven't shed a tear since I left him! Trying to be strong, at least I can fool hose on the outside, inside is another story.
I would love to know more about how you all got thru these feelings and the best ways to overcome them. I know in myself that I'll get there, I just don't know where to start!
Any help will be much appreciated!
04-10-2011 06:17 #14
Stace, I think you're not alone at all. I know it's hard not to feel alone though as I feel it all the time and that may be the hardest part of it all (for me anyway)... I don't know a single soul who has been through what I have been through, and that makes me feel so isolated, and sometimes very bitter. I mostly feel pretty happy though so when I have onbe of those days when everything feels hopeless I try to remember it's temporary. The number of people that say 'ow I've been a single parent I know how you feel...', but they haven't been a single parent from the very beginning with a newborn, and as a new Mum!
Keep being strong - stick to your guns and as hard as it is right now, think of your situation as an opportunity to start a new, much better life. You are only 29 and will meet a much better partner no doubt one day (if that's what you want in the future). I was in a similar situation to you, only I was living in sydney and had nobody around close by - I was alone and pregnant after my ex-partner moved out when I was 7 months pregnant. I worked up until 3 weeks before I was due. Unlike you I am older (36), but despite all that I now feel much more positive about my future as I know I can do anything I put my mind too.
Also, it's ok being a single parent as I can control everything and make any decision I want. DS is a good sleeper which helps as I get my 'me' time every evening and a full night's sleep every night. I have a few people who offer to help, but quite honestly I find it much easier a lot of the time when people don't 'help' if you know what I mean - although I do appreciate the offers.
I started this thread because I wanted to form a bit of a network of other parent's in similar situations so we can help and support each other - so lets try to keep in touch and be here for each other because I know it makes me feel a lot better about things and hopefully we can help each other not feel so alone in our situaitons
04-10-2011 06:24 #15
Just come here and have a big whinge and rant anytime you need to and we'll all understand xx
04-10-2011 06:26 #16
04-10-2011 06:40 #17
DS is 13 months - he was planned as my ex and I were together 5 years, but unfortunately he just suddenly wanted out (of the relationship) one day which was a huge shock. We still lived together for more than a year afterwards though, and I got pregnant during this time. He was supportive but kept carrying on the single life though and it didn't seem to click with him that I was pregnant with our child, so I told him to move out when I was 7 months pregnant and he met someone else immediately.
It's hard enough being a single parent let alone going through a break-up.
04-10-2011 08:58 #18
Thank you so much for your reply, it's extremely reassuring to know that there are other people out there who are where I'm 'at' in my life too! I do have another question though.... Have any of you had a less than amicable split? Mine is horrible! The constant put downs and abuse is so tiring... I ended up last night going and arranging an intervention order so I could partly maintain my sanity! Though the court hearing for it isn't until the 18/10, I'm hoping this is enough to quiten things down for a while. I've been called it all, from a f..... c.... And told to go die or get hit by a bus....! Wtf is WRONG with the male persuasion, or did I just pick the lemon out of the fruit bowl? He has nil respect towards me and doesn't even acknowledge me as our sons mother, I'm just 'the w...e who ruined his life'...! so I hope you can all understand why I'm feeling like a discarded piece of rubbish. I have bitten my lip with regards to biting back, god knows I'd love to let him 'have it'!! But I know it won't do any good to lower myself. I honestly thought we would be able to sort out things in relation to our DS, but he just replies by say 'I don't want to see your head'... Hence why he has seen him twice for an hour or so each time in the past 5 weeks. It's not from lack of trying on my behalf, he is just too focused on being an agry little man than looking at what is important! He has the nerve to run to MIL and pain his cr*p about how stressed and depressed he is, well, wouldn't logic tell you to stop wasting your energy at attacking me? Argh!!! Oh I can't believe I'm ranting, I apologize! It just feels so much better to get it off my chest! Ok ok, rant over, for now..... Hehehe
04-10-2011 09:01 #19
Actually no, I lied.... The one bitter thing I can't seem to overcome is the comment he made - you have 3 kids to 2 dads, who's going to want you.... WHOA!!! Massive deflation occurring!!!! What a @$:)$@;",'svHjnbvdk@/$:!!!!!!
Ok, there, now I'm REALLY done
04-10-2011 14:18 #20
In the end they have to wake up and look at themselves in the mirror. In my ex's case I couldn't think of any worse punishment and actually sometimes find myself feeling sorry for him. But thank god that's no longer mine or DS's issue.
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