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  1. #61
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    I don't ever give to wishing wells. I will give a presents but never cash. I have paid for my meal once at one weding but that wasn't a wishing well. My nephew wanted to get married but his partner and himself were at uni so they couldn't afford a big wedding so we discussed it and offered to pay for our own meals ($35). It was the best wedding I have ever been too.



    I have not met a bride or groom yet that would want me to take money that I need to feed my family to give to them, so they could have a bigger wedding. If they did i wouldn't want to go their wedding or be their friend anyhow.

  2. #62
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    for those that have done wishing well's at their own wedding what did you use the money for??

    i often wonder with people saying they have everything but still want money as a gift what do they use it for?

    ive been married twice so i guess thats double dipping by some people's standards. my first wedding we had a honeymoon registry with flight centre so the money people gave us paid for part of our honeymoon.
    my second marriage we did a gift registry with nothing over $100 on it.

  3. #63
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    Those I've seen have been for honeymoon or one couple donated to charity

  4. #64
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    A family member of mine asked for monetary contribution at her daughters christening!!! I was gobsmacked. They have quite a bit of money and absolutely everything that opens and shuts.... Needless to say, our company was enough on that occasion


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  5. #65
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    We will usually spend $50 on engagement and $100 on a wedding. I have heard that you should "cover the cost of your meal" but really I think that is pretty ludicrous. If someone chooses to have a fancy wedding where they are spending $200pp on food and drinks I am not giving them $400. Sorry but that is too much and we can't afford that.

    Personally I don't really like giving money because I want to know what they are using it for. I prefer gift registries or honeymoon registries (which we had). But even gift registries can be pretty presumptuous - when we have gone to buy gifts off of registries before there have only been gifts of over $150, and include things like dyson vaccumm cleaners and fridges/freezers/TV's/expensive crockery and cutlery etc. I know they might need it but I am not paying $800 for a vaccuum cleaner for your wedding!

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  7. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by RmumR View Post
    for those that have done wishing well's at their own wedding what did you use the money for??

    i often wonder with people saying they have everything but still want money as a gift what do they use it for?
    Like you, we did a honeymoon registry through our travel agent. We got a list of names of those that contributed, but not how much. A few friends came from OS and over east and didn't contribute and we couldn't have cared a less. They ha already spent a fair bit just to come and celebrate with us!!

    The last 2 weddings we've been to have been wishing wells. 1 couple put it towards their honeymoon and the other bought things like a professional camera, new couch and fridge and put the $$ towards them. Which is fine by me. They got what they wanted.

    FWIW, I have always done $50 engagement and $100 wedding.

  8. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by RmumR View Post
    for those that have done wishing well's at their own wedding what did you use the money for??

    i often wonder with people saying they have everything but still want money as a gift what do they use it for?
    we purchased an 8 seater glass outdoor setting and a 7 point surround sound system for our lounge. So not overly exciting items but they are better quality than we would have bought ourselves. And 2 years later it is lovely inviting people over and enjoying something that we spent that money on or even when it's just us.

  9. #68
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    My girlfriend has very old school Italian parents who have a little black
    Book containing who gave how much at their daughters wedding so when they are invited to a wedding/engagement/christening they look up how much that family gave them and they give the same amount back! I know at her wedding she had about 500 people and she received enough money to put in a swimming pool at her house!

  10. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by bebehvala View Post
    No, not good on me. Shame on you!

    You need to at LEAST cover your meal/drinks. How can you attend, eating and drinking the night away and not want to pay for what yiu ate/drank??

    Wow, who knew BH ha so many stingy people.




    Short and sweet because I sent this from my iPhone.

    Shame on YOU. What a horrible, greedy, presumptuous person. All I can say is that I'm glad you're not my friend IRL and I'm glad I don't get invited to celebrations you host. For crying out loud, what do you expect for birthdays or Christmas or your baby shower?

    Wedding guests do not NEED to cover anything. A person should be invited to a wedding because the bride and groom love them and want them there to share in their special day. Not because of how much cash they can pony up. There is NO etiquette that says the cost of the meal must be covered, that is YOUR responsibility, not the responsibility of your guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by The sooper nanny View Post
    Last time I checked you invite people to your wedding because you want their company on your special day, not to profit a gift. Receiving a gift is a privilege not a right

    I think calling people stingy is very judgemental and rude


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    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyLarge View Post
    I ignore registries, and as far as I'm concerned wishing wells are for botanical gardens. I couldn't imagine the thought process behind inviting people to enjoy my hospitality and then charging them for the privilege. How mercenary is that?

    Gifts are supposed to represent thoughts and feelings, rather than being some kind of bizarre payment in kind. I know exactly how I'd respond if someone handed me an invite with a cheesy poem about what colour banknotes they expect me to give them.

    Strangely enough, when we invited people to our wedding it was because we wanted those people to join us in celebrating our special day. Maybe we should have put more thought into how to extract more loot?
    I totally agree. I'd much rather put some thought into actually buying a gift rather than just throwing some cash into an envelope. I've done it once, because I'd been really sick and couldn't get out to choose a special gift.

    I also hate them because I am really good at shopping and getting a bargain and it would always end up costing me more to put cash in a wishing well. I might find an awesome gift for $30 that is worth $100 whereas I would feel that I would need to put more in the wishing well if that makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Astraamy View Post
    Expecting gifts for engagements Is tacky and rude!

    We had a registry that had gifts of under $50 only that we told our parents about so if people asked them about what to buy they could tell them about it. Only grandparents and aunties and uncles used it. And a few long distance people.

    But mostly we got towels, glasses and photo frames, which 4 years on are all actually being used as we broke half our glasses and random coloured towels are great for swimming lessons and deflooding the bathroom after Belle has fun.

    And some people gave is nothing as a wrapped gift but walked in with a calton of booze and asked where to put it for everyone to share which was great!

    I can't afford to put $50 in a card, but I'm awesome at buying gifts. And I think it's more rude to not turn up to a friends engagement party so I always offer to help out with decorations and setup and cleanup and buy a small personal gift. Or take advantage of some of the group buying deals. And if nothing else I make up a package of 2 movie vouchers and lollies.
    That's the only way registries are polite. I hate them coming with the invitation but it's perfectly fine to tell people you actually have a small registry, if they are asking what to get.

    What a good friend you are. I would LOVE the movie ticket and lolly thing, that is something different and useful...in fact I just might steal that idea!

    Quote Originally Posted by loving5 View Post
    I don't ever give to wishing wells. I will give a presents but never cash. I have paid for my meal once at one weding but that wasn't a wishing well. My nephew wanted to get married but his partner and himself were at uni so they couldn't afford a big wedding so we discussed it and offered to pay for our own meals ($35). It was the best wedding I have ever been too.



    I have not met a bride or groom yet that would want me to take money that I need to feed my family to give to them, so they could have a bigger wedding. If they did i wouldn't want to go their wedding or be their friend anyhow.
    I'm glad my friends/family aren't like that either. Actually, I'm glad that 99% of the world isn't like that.

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  12. #70
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    $50 is what we would generally give.
    Close friends get $200.

    This is for wedding though - i never give anything for engagements (i must be a stinge )


 

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