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  1. #1
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    Default Sorry to everyone that i'm unable to produce a girl!

    I just had to write this i have been feeling so angry lately.
    This is my second pregnancy and we found out about three weeks ago that i'm having a boy. We already have 4 yr old identical twin boys. My partner and i are thrilled and bubs is doing fine, healthy etc. Our friends are very happy for us but the problem is that no one in our families seems to be sharing this joy with us. No congratulations or if they do it isnt heartfelt. Its like "oh ANOTHER boy. It would of been nice for you to have a girl". I would be lying if i didn't have a small twinge of disappointment myself because yes it would have been nice.

    Over the years i've tried to not care what other people think but it's hard when you have so many expectations thrust upon you. With the twins it was "oh wouldn't it be perfect if you had one of each?" Have people forgotten the actual miracle of getting pregnant in the first place and having a wonderful healthy child? What is the fascination with family balancing?

    My partner would like for us to have more children, but i don't know if i can give each child the individual attention they need if i have too many. I could go for baby no 4 and i could conceive twins again and then that's five!

    I did have a bit of a cry the other day and put away all the baby girls clothes i had been given "just in case". Sorry if it sounds like i'm being ungrateful and having a whinge. Maybe people aren't trying to be insensitive, its just that i'm too sensitive about the whole thing.I am happy about our little boy who will be coming soon.

  2. #2
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    Thanks, you make perfect sense to me. I guess you can be on the other end of the scale always having girls and not having a boy. It just makes me angry when people feel they have the right to say whatever they like to you. A friend of mine desperately wanted a girl and she had 3 boys and yep her fourth was also a boy. I didn't rub it in her face that she didn't have a girl. Families must think that its some kind of reflection on them. That their kids are genetically weaker because they only have children of one gender. I've heard that it is the father that determines the sex of the child, this is true isnt it? Sorry i was never good at biology lol. A huge heartfelt congratulations to you and your family with the arrival of your next little girl.

  3. #3
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    We haven't found out the sex of this baby yet but DP is hoping it's a boy. People keep saying "oh you will be devastated if it's a girl" well actually no we won't. As long as this baby is healthy we don't really care! Then we get the comments oh If it's a boy you don't need to have any more. why not? We might want 20 kids?

    Everyone always has to say their bit.

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    YAY A MASSIVE CONGRATS!!!!!!
    Yea as PP has said imagine the mischief the 3 of them will get up to lol. Just imagine ur saving a little girl from being picked on by her big twin brothers hehe
    My DH now has 3 girls (2 from previous marriage) and he ALWAYS gets "oh I bet u want a boy!" his reply is "doesn't bother me, at least I know how to raise girls, having a boy wld b strange for me!". Having said that I wld love to give him a boy next time but I also know that we will both be ecstatic if we have another girl
    Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy. Ur new little man is going to be so lucky having u as his mummy

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    Insomniac - yep its up to the men to determine the sex of our kiddies

  6. #6
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    I completely understand, i myself have two boys, and i still get comments about my ds#2 "look at his gorgeous red hair, its a shame he isnt a girl, or he would be stunning..." or "dont have anymore, u know u will just end up with a mini ubs full of boys, two boys are more than enough" "you just werent built to make girls were you?" "doesnt it just break your heart, once the boys are married u can kiss them goodbye" "too bad you didnt master the art of making girls, soooo much easier"

    OKAYYyYyY i friggen get it! And yessssss it breaks my friggen heart! STFU!!!!

  7. #7
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    Ugh! Rude people!

    I have one DS and am sick of people asking if we want a girl next time. No, just a baby would be good - girl or boy I don't mind.

    And a friend of ours had her third baby boy, my MIL just said "xx had her baby, it's another boy, can you believe it?" in a very disappointed tone. I was so offended for the poor baby!!

  8. #8
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    What the diamondeyes, they are horrible comments

    Op, I am feeling you, I already have 2 boys and a stepson and I am already feeling the pressure to produce a girl, i'm not going to lie, I am secretly hoping for a baby girl, certainly not to please everybody else, but I would truly be happy with another boy. I only found out I am pregnant again 2 weeks ago and already I am getting comments from my family and friends like "I bet you and DP are hoping for a girl this time" or "when are you going to produce me a granddaughter" or "hopefully this one is a girl, maybe then you will stop" umm.. regardless of whether or not i have a girl, I would still love another baby in the future, I love my baby's not their gender I'm not finding out the gender of this baby until birth because I don't want to recieve the several negative comments from, family, friends... strangers if it turns out I am having another boy.

  9. #9
    White Mage's Avatar
    White Mage is online now Today has been cancelled, go back to bed.
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    We are pregnant with no2. Won't know what we are having for another few weeks. We have a gorgeous little boy, and there seems to be some pressure to have a girl, a pigeon pair. I don't get the obsession. But my mother is already referring this baby by 'Grand daughter' or Mollie, which is what we are planning to use as our girls name.

    Deep down I am pretty certain I am having another little boy, which will be very welcomed to our house.
    But I feel already that there will be disappointment amongst family if I don't deliver a girl.
    It's completely stupid..

    I forgot to mention also, that I don't plan to have anymore after this one. And I have told my mother and everyone else, be the baby a boy a girl, this is the last, and what ever the baby is. It will be welcomed either way.
    Last edited by White Mage; 08-09-2011 at 10:00.

  10. #10
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    Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and personal stories, it gives me a clearer perspective now. I'm grateful for being able to have a baby at all regardless of gender. My twins are very excited and always come up to me and kiss my belly saying "hi baby" it always puts a smile on my face. Week 22 now so i'm due around the 10th of Jan, maybe a bit earlier. Have no idea for another boys name. All the names we like are very popular now.Oh well still have a while to think about it.


 

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