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  1. #11
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    bellalika is offline I'm trying my hardest, please don't ask for more.
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    What is it with older brothers being boob douches. Big cyber hugs OP. It makes you feel like crap. Nothing I ever said, including bursting into tears, ever "enlightened" my eldest brother. I ended up just ignoring him (or appearing to). He eventually got sick of trying to demoralise a brick wall.

  2. #12
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    what a disgusting, utterly horrendous thing to say. Is there any way to avoid him altogether?

    Id probably print out some stuff from aba, tell him how foul and cruel he's being and then refuse to acknowledge him full stop if he kept it.

    I'd have probably initially responded similarly and walked away out of shock. Maybe next time tell him he can leave. He's the one being disgusting. I'm shocked anyone could be so ignorant.

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    Here is an interesting article from the Australian Breastfeeding Association - http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/out.html . It talks about how it is illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding mothers.

    So if your brother continues to be a butthead and have those sorts of attitudes then you can nicely advise him that he is discriminating against you!

    But I guess is it possible for someone in your family or even you to talk to him about it? Like when there is no breastfeeding happening and just bring it up in conversation?

    There must be some 'issue' for him about it...I mean what is going to happen when he eventually has kids and his wife breastfeeds? Will he call her disgusting?

    I was scared about breastfeeding at first as my breasts have always been a sexual object and with my first I really needed to make myself ok with breastfeeding as I was scared that when he started to breastfeed I would like it in a sexual way. But I didnt as it hurt too damn much at the start!

    Anyway....I am sorry that you have to cop that from someone in your family but maybe you can pull him aside one day and just chat to him about it. Ask him why it seems to disgust him and maybe if he cant get over his issue then work out some sort of compromise (not like you hide in the toilet) but if you need ot breastfeed in a given situation eith er he looks away or goes somewhere else.

    Good luck

  4. #14
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    ^^^ yeah he can walk away, look away etc. My brother is uncomfortable with me breast feeding so will pop out for a smoke or make a phone call or something while I breast feed. Which is totally fine. Though it sounds like your brother lacks the maturity to see this is his issue not yours.

  5. #15
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    OMG! As a lactivist I am horrified to read of the way your brother treated you! I am absolutely outraged on your behalf. That is so unacceptable. I'm so sorry you felt humiliated.
    Arm yourself with some quick ranting replies for if there is a next time. How dare he?! Seriously, I'd have given him and absolute serve!

  6. #16
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    I think that the way your brother spoke to you and treated you was horrible. I'm in no way defending how he behaved, but I can offer another perspective on it.

    Before I got pregnant I always said that I would never BF, and the analogy he used (the 'how would you like it if I...' comment) was one that I kind of used myself, when trying to explain to DH why I was anti-BF. I said something along the lines of it feeling 'wrong' and asked him how he would feel if that was how he had to feed a baby. I really couldn't separate b**bs from being s*xual at that point.

    My mother never BF me or my sister, and none of my friends had BF. It just wasn't normalised for me, and to me b**bs were a s*xual thing.

    When I got pregnant I felt differently, and I felt as if I did want to BF, and that it was natural. Since then I have always felt that way, and look back on how I used to think in a kind of "Oh dear... what were you thinking?" type way.

    It sounds to me as if your brother is still very much in that mindset, and with you being his sister he is just generally a bit squeamish about not wanting to see (what he perceives as) his sister's s*xual body parts.

    The way he behaved in regards to that feeling was out of line. But I do understand where that feeling comes from, and I don't think it makes him the worst person in the world/ someone with whom you should cease all contact. I think it makes him immature and insensitive, but not a terrible person.

    I'm hoping no one shoots me down in flames for what I have written. I'm being really honest, and I think there are a lot of people who feel/ have felt that way. Doesn't make it right, but I think it comes from having no experience of BF rather than being a terrible/ uneducated/ sick person.

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    I actually think this is rather common. My bro can be quite hurtful, humilating, loud and violent so to save a fight where everyone would end up in tears (everyone is quite scared of my bro- incl my mum), I would go to the parents room, or a quiet corner. My sis or my Mum would probably come with me and have a chat while doing so.

    I understand where they come from but that is their issue with seeing boobies as sexual things rather than things to feed infants- it's a common view. But their veiw is wrong- not yours (imo anyway).

    Comparing penises to boobies is just plain wrong!

  8. #18
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    Im so sorry for you that you hve people who are like this around you.
    If it were me, I JUST 'WHIP' IT OUT AND FEED BUB!!!! If he has a problem he can go jump in the lake as far as im concerned. I get so angry when people make comments like this about breastfeeding...its the most natural thing in the world!!! My Brother was always a bit 'funny around me while i was feeding and even my mum said 'you shouldnt feed around you brother, he doesnt need to see that'. I was shocked...IM IN MY OWN HOUSE...YOU GOT A PROBLEM...LEAVE!!!
    Having said all of this, i would have 'covered' up if i was out, were you going to as well??? If so, WHATS HIS PROBLEM, not like hed see anythign anyway!!!

    Next time, if you have to feed your bub around your brother...JUST DO IT!! if he still has a problem, HE CAN LEAVE!!!!
    Big hugs...breastfeeding is tough, especially when there are hese types of people around you

  9. #19
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    OMG That is effing disgusting!!! What a giant turd!!!!

    That made my blood boil, it crosses soo many lines into inappropriate and beyond!!!

    Get the best revenge by being the bigger person, ignoring him and continue feeding your precious DS when and where you like!!!! gah that makes me so angry! Make your brother go and eat his own lunch in the dirty toilets and tell him to keep his pen1s to himself! f**kstick!

  10. #20
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    Hugs! My 25yr old bro was exactly the same! I told him where to go & that if he doesn't want to see it HE can get lost. BF is already hard enough without stupid hurtful jibes. I did however see it from his point of view that he doesn't want to see or know that his sister has boobs & I wasn't too comfortable with him seeing it as well. But I just told him to get lost whenever I was going to bf.


 

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