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  1. #1
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    Angry How can I get over this? Anti BF attack - from my own brother!

    Ok, I'll try not too make this too long...

    I have three brothers, 25, 19 & 18. The younger two have been great with the whole 'my sister's breastfeeding' thing, but the older one always has a comment to make. It's usually along the lines of 'you better not be here to feed him, I'll lose my appetite!'. I've never really thought anything of it but the other day at the airport, his little comments turned into a full on humiliating attack.

    We were all on our way back from a family wedding and our flight was delayed. I made the comment that I would need to feed my DS due to the delay and he responded "You'd better not do that near me while I'm eating, that's digusting!" I said to him that it didn't make me feel nice to hear comments like that and he continued with " Well it's disgusting. How would you like it if I whipped out my p*nis and fed a baby?! It's the same thing! Can't you go somewhere away from where people are eating?"

    In hindsight, I should have had a pro breastfeeding speech prepared, but instead I retreated to the airport parents room where I fed my son surrounded by the smell of dirty nappies. I was humiliated and so upset at his VERY immature comments about something that's so natural. He made me feel so gross that I couldn't sit with my family and feed after that. He's very lucky that my parents and husband were not in ear shot.

    He is a VERY immature 25 year old and sometimes says very stupid things, but should this excuse these comments? I'm actually losing sleep over this as I'm so hurt and upset. Mum yelled at him in front of everyone after I'd retreated to cry my eyes out in the smelly mothers room, but he has not even tried to apologise. I don't think I'd accept it at the moment if he did.

    Sorry, this was very long and I'm not sure what I've achieved but writing it down. I guess I just needed to vent and try and get past it.

    I wish I had gone back and screamed at him to go and eat his f*%&*&g lunch in the toilet because that's what his nephew just did and that his nephew is happy and healthy because of what I'm feeding him!

    OK.....finished!!

  2. #2
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    I think that next time he says tell him exactly that, That if he is uncormfortable that HE can go and eat his lunch in the toliet.

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    Omg I'm pretty much speechless. I can't believe he made a comparison between breastfeeding and using his pen1s to feed a baby?!?! that is wrong on so many levels
    It sounds like for him breasts have absolutely no other function apart from a sexual one, and that's why he has an issue. Maybe print some papers on the benefits of breastfeeding and why it's done for him to read, but it doesn't sound like it will make much difference.
    I'm sorry that he made you feel bad if you can, just try to ignore him in future, if he's the one who has a problem, he can leave. You're doing the best thing for your son

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    Sending huge !! I agree with loving5, if he's the one who is uncomfortable then he should leave. I'd ask him when his pen!s started producing breastmilk, because otherwise there is no connection at all there. Breasts are for feeding babies. He needs to grow up.

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    How awful for you. It sounds like you have a lot of support from your family, except your one brother. I'd probably do the same thing if I was caught off guard like that by my own family. My Grandma is fairly anti-bf and I was really nervous about breastfeeding my 11 month old in front of her (she lives 12 hrs away) when we went to visit. In the end she was fine which was great for me but not helpful to you.
    Anyway, next time there's a family thing just tell him 'I'm going to breastfeed now. If that bothers you leave the room/area.' Make sure you have your hubby or mum or someone supportive with you when you say it so that if he goes off they can tell him where to go. It's his problem, not yours. He is being incredibly rude and awful to you.

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    Honestly, I probably would have stared at him in disbelief and wonder where he got the stupid gene from, then ask my Mother if he was adopted.

    But what you can do next time he says anything, is look him dead in the eye, and ask him how he feels about drinking milk that cows use to breastfeed their calfs with, or how he feels about eating eggs that have come out of a chickens butt and more than likely were fertilised at some stage or other. Then tell him that the bathroom is empty. If he needs to use it to throw up or eat lunch, it doesn't really matter to you either way, but damned if you're going to the dunny to feed your son.

    Hugs to you though, and feel safe in the knowledge that you can never, in your life, even with excessive effort, attain the level of stupidity and ignorance that your brother showed in public.

    Edited to add two things:
    1) Sorry about replying, I didn't realise it was in the breastfeeding section. It comes up in that little box over there as a discussion. >>
    2) Also, next time he seems to have a big issue with it, smile very, very politely, then ask him how he feels about the fact that your Mother used to breastfeed him on a rather regular basis, so he also partook quite happilly in the process of breastfeeding.
    Last edited by Jennaisme; 01-09-2011 at 19:19.

  9. #7
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    How on earth can he compare a penis to breasts for feeding a baby?? I'd be asking him if he actually passed any of his classes at school since he doesn't seem to know anything about the function of certain body parts.


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  11. #8
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    Spot on, Jennaisme!

    I am sorry that your brother's intolerance upsets you so much. At least the next time he makes a comment, you are better prepared in your response. And you sure have many great counter arguments to choose from!

    Best of luck!

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    Your brother is a p3nis!!!! Unbelievable. Next time tell him to shove it. You, my dear, have permission to breastfeed when ever and wherever you need to do so! Dont listen to his ignorant rubbish and never ever buy him a christmas present ever again!

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    Just out of interest - was your brother breastfed as a baby? If a member of my family spoke to me like that I would've been so shocked I would have done exactly what you did - retreated and felt ashamed. There are some great responses from PP's you could use next time - unfortunately mine would pretty much be expletives! I don't think you're going to be able to change the attitude of someone obviously so ignorant and immature, so I would just state you are going to feed your son and go ahead and do it. In all honesty, if that were my brother I would be feeding in front of him as much as humanly possible just to prove a point - breastfeeding is normal and natural - HE is the one with a problem. again.


 

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