M4N. I can't imagine how you are feeling at the moment. I think it's something we all worry about at one time or another. I don't really know what to say other than autism if detected early, and especially if it's one of the milder types, has so many options for treatment these days and there is every chance N will be able to learn, work, be in a relationship just like anyone else. I have a young second cousin who has Aspbergers and he is an extremely bright 10yo. He has some incredible skills, very talented musically and at school. He lacks some social ability, but not really to a degree that you would notice, if we didn't know. There are so many things/issues that can come up with our babies. N just has something that can be named, and at least you are aware of it and will have every chance for early intervention. I'm sure if you talk to a specialist that can give you some strategies in regards to bringing the new baby home
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10-12-2011 13:39 #701
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10-12-2011 15:07 #702
M4N I have 2 nephews who are autistic, both with aspergers. One is 16 and has just graduated from high school and the other is 10 and is in primary school. It's a tough thing to be told, but there are so many resources out there if that is the case with N. My sister works at the parenting resource centre and specialises in the treatment of kids with aspergers. I would google their website and find out as much as you can about what they have to offer. It's a very confusing disorder as the child can be social with adults but not with children of their own age - that's exactly how it was with my 10 year old nephew.
The most important thing which you no doubt already know is to get a proper diagnosis from a child health expert so you know exactly what you're dealing with as there are so many things these days. In the case of my 16 year old nephew the attitude back then was that you were labeling the child and would be better off not knowing, but with my 10 year old my sister has know since he was 2 and a half and has been able to do so much with him in terms of developing social skills etc.
No doubt you feel like you're walking through heavy fog at the moment, but information is extremely powerful in terms of taking control of the situation. Good luck and I hope you get some answers soon xx.
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10-12-2011 18:16 #703
Just quickly want to pop in to give m4n a massive hug. It must be very concerning and distressing for you right now. You need to give yourself time to get your head around it.xxx
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10-12-2011 19:22 #704
10-12-2011 19:43 #705
M4n, Mitch has global dev delay, he just had another assessment done (brigance) and is in the first percentile for social/adaptive behavior, 7th for motor skills, and 16 th for speech.
He could not say anything or follow even very basic instructions, until I had a hearing test done on him and he was found to have 60% hearing loss in one ear, and 40% in the other.
He has had grommets put in and his speech has come a long way. He doesn't know his name, or colors, or most animals, he doesn't do animal noises, he won't build blocks, he won't smile on cue, or wave. He can't run properly, he can't stand on one leg, he can't jump. All things he should have been doing long ago...
He is very routine oriented, and borders on OCD with having to have doors closed (or open) and he must have a certain towel, cup and plate. He despises change. I thought Autism for a while there, I really did. He gives hugs and kisses now (though didn't until well after 2yo) although he will not even look at strangers.
One year ago he still couldn't walk, he has been under the care of a neurologist since he was 8months old, it was thought for quite a while there that he had muscular dystrophy and there was a lot of talk that he may never walk. There were many nights when I would sit next to his bed and watch him sleep, silently crying for the little boy I had lost.... The fear of the unknown has always been a killer, I still fear what the future holds... I wish I had a crystal ball.
I do know this, Mitchell (and Nathan I'm sure) will have everything I can possibly do for him to help him along. He will be loved and cherished every single day. I will do every physio/speech/OT that I possibly can. I will tell him a hundred times a day how good he is and how much he is loved. I will encourage him, I will help him reach his dreams. I will remind him never to let anyone tell him he can't, or that he isn't good enough.
We were buddies when we were cycling, our boys were only a few days apart... If you want to chat send me a message.
Big hugs xxx
10-12-2011 20:05 #706
Beautifully said backflip xx
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10-12-2011 21:13 #707
M4N - sending you heaps of . I also can't imagine what you may be going thru bcs you don't know what the future holds, but N is still your little star and he will keep shining brightly. I don't know much about autism but have read about the potential and positiveness that early intervention does for kids these days, they reach milestones that were once thought to be impossible. When you can get your head around it, it could be an idea to contact a support group for parents of children with autism and gather as much info as you can.
Backflip - very inspiring & encouraging post. I'm so glad M is progressing well.
10-12-2011 21:36 #708
I also forgot to say Mitchell didn't call us mum or dad until a few months ago, and he too mimics a lot of what we say, he also talks in third person a fair bit. Eg he'll come to me saying milk milk, then will look at me and say 'Ask dad' as he is familiar with what my answer is most likely to be.
He will sit on the toilet and shred the toilet paper, then when I look at him he'll say "awwww mitchuuullllll, that's norny!" again mimicking my response to him.
Mitch still sleeps too much (was 20 hours a day till just recently, now down to about 16 hours a day) and eats too little, he is lucky to have a small breakfast, and 3 tablespoons of dinner, with maybe half a salada in between. He weighs a tiny 10 and a half kilos.
He does things that amaze me, he is completely toilet trained, has been since early September, and is almost dry overnight too. He has beautiful manners, saying bless you when one of us sneeze, and greeting me with good morning mum how are you? Every day. Then before I can reply he says "I good tanks"
He was sick the other night, vomited for the first time in his life, he didn't cry, he didnt say anything at all, he was just so surprised, as I lay next to him in his bed stroking his forehead he looked up at me and said "I wub you mum" and you know what, it makes every single tear worthwhile.....
I am over protective of him, I rarely go anywhere without him or am parted from him, and I wouldn't swap him for the world... I wub him too....
11-12-2011 01:55 #709
A HUGE thanks to all you girls - especially Backflip for sharing your story. Mitch sounds delightful, and you do love them regardless. I also spend lots of time watching him sleep at the moment and I cry and cry... but on the other hand, I feel I have to be strong for him and not fall apart. He really picks up on my distress I think.
So I head down the track of the official diagnosis... I wish it was just Aspgergers but I'm sure it's not as they don't have issues with language aquisition I've read.... Should see our paediatrician by about Feb - he looked after Nathan early on with failure to thrive issues and feeding problems - I'm hoping they may be linked somehow and maybe there is a 'cure' for him... If I can't stand the wait then I might see him privately but it's all a bit difficult this time of year.... I know he has kids of his own and takes hols
DH and I have both said we regret getting pregnant again - now we know how much extra Nathan needs, it just feels like a mistake. What a truly awful start to life hey - both mum and dad wish you weren't here... But I've made my bed, now have to lie in it... maybe he'll be my guiding light????? High chance he'll also have issues as it particularly runs in families and in boys - I've read around 30%.
I've got reflux tonight - can't sleep so this is the beginning of the overnight sleepless training... it had to start sometime i guess.
Thanks again, x x
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11-12-2011 09:49 #710Senior Member
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- Sep 2008
m4nay: just read thru all the posts, like the others i cant imagine what this must be like for you. sorry i do not really know anything about autism but im sure you will be the best mother!!! i think it is totally normal to think youve made a mistake with the second baby , (i know sometimes i do and thats just a "normal" day...). big hugs to you and DH.
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