The op had nothing to do with this being a debate about who smacks their kids, who's right and wrong.
Seriously people.... This thread could be really interesting but your all wrecking it with trying to all prove a point.
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10-08-2011 19:11 #31
10-08-2011 19:18 #32
I get confused by people who smack saying they never inflict any pain... then what's the point? If you're doing it simply show your disapproval then there are better ways of doing that which will actually strengthen your relationship with your child rather than making them fear you.
10-08-2011 19:27 #33
10-08-2011 19:29 #34
Mummy is serious. If we're at home, she just gets picked up and put in her room for timeout.
10-08-2011 19:30 #35
Until then, this is in the general chat section, so please expect that there will be conflicting views.
I for one appreciate these discussions as it strengthens my resolve and gives me ideas on how to use alternative methods that will remain effective throughout toddlerhood, and the teenage years.
This thread shows that it's a temporary tool at best - so why not start the guidance process with something that lasts??
Last edited by BabushkaMumma; 10-08-2011 at 19:33.
10-08-2011 19:33 #36
Perhaps those who think all us smackers are abusive ought to experience real abuse. Might put things into perspective eh?
I'm over and out - this thread is tugging at emotions I've had buried for a very long time
10-08-2011 19:36 #37
10-08-2011 19:37 #38
10-08-2011 19:38 #39
I don't think your abusive. I don't think anything in fact. I simply think for myself.
I used to smack. It happened when i was tired, at the end of my tether with her sleep and was frustrated. Each time I smacked it was because of how it made ME feel in that exact moment.
But, Because of the abuse I suffered - I decided that I could no longer tell my daughter that she has the right to be treated with respect, the right to expect that her body is hers, that she had the right to say no to physical contact that she felt uncomfortable with and that she should expect to never to be slapped, hit, with or with out 'justification' because she 'started it' or didn't obey them' by a future partner, yet for me to go and smack her.
The hypocrisy was too much for me.
So there's your perspective.
Maybe theres a reason your emotions were tugging? I know mine did when I read these threads. Then I worked out why. Now, I'm changing my guidance methods and I'm at peace.
Last edited by BabushkaMumma; 10-08-2011 at 19:45.
10-08-2011 19:40 #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
This is going to sound bad, lol... but my Mum stopped hitting me when I was about 12 because she smacked me and I smacked her back one!! It's only funny now because it was obviously such a long time ago and we now get along like a house on fire. But I think she realised that at her only being 4ft11 and me being quite tall for my age, if she went too far and I was confident enough, she would come of second best! and I just figuered, well, if you are going to hit me, I will hit you!!
Dad was obviously a different story and I remember copping quite the hiding around the side of my head at about 15 years old . Sadly, I have and will never forget that and I dont really think my relationship with him has ever really recovered. We get on great and I love him to death still, but I have a bit of a F.... you attitude to him when he annoys me or when we dont agree on something. It just damaged us I think and you cant go back!! Consequently, with my own DD, whilst I have smacked her maybe 2 or 3 times early on in her life time, I have realised that I did it mainly out of my own temper and frustration, not because I actually thought it was going to teach her something. So I have found other methods of discipline that have been more effective for us like time out in her room, or taking something away etc. Just finding whatever her achilles heel is at the time has worked fine for us.
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